Depends on the state you are in.

Virginia you hit like 10 excused absences and they freak out and make you bring a note.

Unless your kid is diagnosed with some prolonged illness or anxiety or something; then they do not care.

If he has a 594 or iep he is fine.

Anonymous wrote:Call your kid from your desk to wake him up and make sure he gets himself to the school bus.

I also work in a SCIF - I’m reachable during the day (when I have meetings it’s harder, but not impossible).

OP is either fake or making stuff up. In less he has a specific job, like servers or something else, he is choosing to go in that early and he could go in later. Most have a phone, but its hard to have a conversation in an open office enivroment but you can call them back from a conference room or in your car.

Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t “letting” him. If she was the absences would be excused.

Before she stopped being willing to discuss this with you, what suggestions did she make for how you could improve things?

This isn't true. She would have to email the school with an excuse to cover absences. 25+ would be difficult to justify.

I have a friend who allows her son to miss school and the school has also made a similar threat. This would be unacceptable in my household, but she just rolls her eyes and allows it. Son is now only attending school to avoid failing as well.

Anonymous wrote:Has OP considered prioritizing his son's well-being over having this particular job?

WTF. Do you know how hard it is to find work these days?

Call your kid from your desk to wake him up and make sure he gets himself to the school bus.

I also work in a SCIF - I’m reachable during the day (when I have meetings it’s harder, but not impossible).

Your wife isn’t “letting” him. If she was the absences would be excused.

Before she stopped being willing to discuss this with you, what suggestions did she make for how you could improve things?

Take his phone, game controllers, and screens with you. Unplug the router. Cut him off each morning.

Obviously children should attend school as much as they can.

However, you give no explanation from your son and your wife's perspective. It seems you expect your wife to be the default parent. WHY do you think your son is doing this? Perhaps you don't know, because all you're getting from him are shrugs and lies, because you were never there for him? WHY do you think your wife is acting like this? Is it because you've never been there to support her parenting and householding, and you never want to troubleshoot but you just demand results?

I'm asking leading questions, because you did not explain yourself, so I'm inserting the worse possible scenario of the workaholic father who is just realizing, too late, that he missed a critical chunk of family life. But maybe that's not true, and you've tried very hard to be present and trustworthy, and it's your wife and son who just aren't doing their share, for some reason...

I wonder if the wife doesn't care about the son or OP. Son is near the end of high school, and if she doesn't work she hopes OP will divorce her and she gets 1/2 of everything. She must want her freedom from son and OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is he? What grade is he in? how are his grades. Why is he refusing to go to school? Does he have any mental health issues? If not, you need to figure out what’s going on. Why is it all wife’s responsibility? How can she make a high school boy who refuses to go to school, go to school?

What worked for us with a previously lazy, prone-to-ditching teen was a semester of online school at home with mom (+ tutors). He hasn't missed a day since going back to traditional school.

If mom works, dad can take FMLA to sit with son every day.

Anonymous wrote:That is it.

My wife lets our HS son skip school all the time.

He has 25 unexcused absences this year alone. We have fought tooth and nail about this to the point that I've threatened divorce and meant it.

I leave for work at 5:30 in the morning and work in a SCIF so unless I take time off, there is nothing I can do. She completely dismisses my concerns over this and walks out of the room any time I try to discuss it or point out how she is setting him up for failure.

The school just emailed us and said if he has one more unexcused absence, he will not be permitted to move to the next grade. They cited Virginia law.

My wife's response?

'They're bluffing."

Help me. What can I do?

Your wife is completely irresponsible. That’s not how you raise kids. Unless he has a medical issue, he needs to go to school. So she’s failing as a parent and as a spouse because she is dismissing your concerns.

What time does your wife leave for work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Is your son college bound ?
Need to get this wayyyyy in check dad

Pretty sure that's what he's asking for help with.

If he's oin the bowels of the Pentagon with no cell phone fomer 6-3 everyday, there isn't a whole lot he can do. Unless, your guidnace is he forfeit his career because he's married to a POS parwnt.

Seriously, what kind of horrible person do you have to be to intentionally hamstring your own kid?

Sure there is. Switch off the early schedule, move to the later one. Sorry about the traffic bro.

Anonymous wrote:How old is he? What grade is he in? how are his grades. Why is he refusing to go to school? Does he have any mental health issues? If not, you need to figure out what’s going on. Why is it all wife’s responsibility? How can she make a high school boy who refuses to go to school, go to school?

What worked for us with a previously lazy, prone-to-ditching teen was a semester of online school at home with mom (+ tutors). He hasn't missed a day since going back to traditional school.

How old is he? What grade is he in? how are his grades. Why is he refusing to go to school? Does he have any mental health issues? If not, you need to figure out what’s going on. Why is it all wife’s responsibility? How can she make a high school boy who refuses to go to school, go to school?