Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It goes by a formula.

This.
My spouse is a lawyer and could very easily work. We sent the kids to daycare even though he was staying at home. He still gets alimony and child support.

Did he at least get imputed income commensurate with his education? If not, people are incentivized to just quit the job they dislike in the years leading up to a divorce, especially if they sense divorce is coming and their spouse is the higher earner. Why work a crappy job when you could just collect alimony from your ex-spouse instead?

My brother was married for 10 years to a woman who barely worked--she had a few short term jobs earning very little. He supported her through a very prestigious business school, and yet she could never get a job (or maybe didn't want one). Not sure exactly what the issues were, but she was definitely off. Emotional problems, mental health (eating disorder), etc. She ultimately left him at the 10 year mark (hoping for lifetime alimony as this was california), and she was getting 5k/month for 3-4 years while they sorted out the divorce. His salary was around 200k. No kids. Eventually they settled and alimony ended, but it was always shocking to me that she was getting so much compared to women who stayed at home to care for kids.

You will end up paying alimony to your unemployed husband

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This.
My spouse is a lawyer and could very easily work. We sent the kids to daycare even though he was staying at home. He still gets alimony and child support.

Good for him. The law is the law.

It feels unfair, but I don’t really care. I would give up nearly everything I have to be able to live my life without him. His not getting a job was a small part of the overall issue. He just never saw us as a team.

Yet you didn't find it divorce worthy offense and stayed married hence the alimony.

I did find it divorce worthy and I did get divorced. Hence the alimony.

I think the PP means, that you allowed this to continue "for years" before divorcing.

It takes a few years to decide to divorce. You think things will get better, then you try to make it better, then you go to counseling. It takes a couple of years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This.
My spouse is a lawyer and could very easily work. We sent the kids to daycare even though he was staying at home. He still gets alimony and child support.

Good for him. The law is the law.

It feels unfair, but I don’t really care. I would give up nearly everything I have to be able to live my life without him. His not getting a job was a small part of the overall issue. He just never saw us as a team.

Yet you didn't find it divorce worthy offense and stayed married hence the alimony.

I did find it divorce worthy and I did get divorced. Hence the alimony.

I think the PP means, that you allowed this to continue "for years" before divorcing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This.
My spouse is a lawyer and could very easily work. We sent the kids to daycare even though he was staying at home. He still gets alimony and child support.

Good for him. The law is the law.

It feels unfair, but I don’t really care. I would give up nearly everything I have to be able to live my life without him. His not getting a job was a small part of the overall issue. He just never saw us as a team.

Yet you didn't find it divorce worthy offense and stayed married hence the alimony.

I did find it divorce worthy and I did get divorced. Hence the alimony.