Anonymous wrote:Not only do I let them do that, but I let them get a Mexican Coke. AHHH THE HOROR!
Anonymous wrote:This may be a silly question, but I found out that my dh lets my kids get queso and guac in their chipotle bowls. My son has the nerve to order light queso. My daughter said she didn't realize it cost extra. Do you let your kids get all the extras all the time? I feel like it's wasteful and they need to learn they can't get everything that they want all the time. I did the ordering today and ordered them one queso to share. I know it's a small expense but all the small expenses add up.
Anonymous wrote:We have no idea what your yearly expenses are to your 450K income. At 450K you probably can easily afford the extras at Chipotle. But I also think, as the PP stated, that it's good for kids to learn that they don't get everything. This leads to entitlement, and then surprise when they get in the real world and don't get everything they want.
As a thought experiment, I wonder what would happen if you gave them a choice: you can get the quac or I'll give you the money to save?
Anonymous wrote:PP who grew up in a family that didn't allow extras - I agree with the other posters who mention this isn't just about being able to afford it - it's teaching kids to make decisions about what to spend on.
So, for example- it's one extra - quac, queso, or a drink.
And while I think financial advice along the lines of "make coffee at home so you can afford a downpayment" is stupid - there is something to be said about modeling delayed gratification and decision making.
Anonymous wrote:I make about 1/4 of what you make, so maybe I'm missing something.
But I like to think that if I were rich like you, I'd be able to prioritize the following when feeding my kids: nutrition and enjoyment.
Guac is one of the healthiest things at Chipotle, so of course they can have guac. The idea that you'd sacrifice nutrients out of cheapness when clearly have enough money is bizarre.
Queso makes it taste better. That's a reason to order it. If you have two kids and they each only want some queso, then splitting one queso makes sense. But if you are arguing that your kid should order full queso instead of light queso because full queso is a better "deal", then I can't understand that. Light queso is generally, unless you have a kid who needs more calories, the healthier choice. So, telling your kid "I'll spend X amount for something that's less good for you, but I won't spend the same amount for something that's better for you, and that you'd enjoy". That's insanity.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So we've devolved from kids shouldn't want fancy sneakers or iPhones, to kids shouldn't want guac?
OP, what is your end goal here? If you want to control it, you can. It sounds like you've already laid a guilt trip on your DD. You really need to journal on this, and then journal some more, and then some more until you have some clarity.
I used a strawman example, but the larger question I was trying to pose is do you try to instill a sense of want in your kid? Or do you give them everything on a silver platter? My kids know we only buy things on sale and that we buy what we need, not every luxury we feel like. We drive older cars and us our phones into the ground. My DS wanted a pair of resale Nikes that were $300. I told he he'd need to get a job and buy them with his own money, even though we can afford it. That motivated him.
+1 advice