Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 21:08     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd ask to see the paperwork that he recently ran across. On the health portal so he can't fudge the dates.


Is it worth going through all that? The net of it is the trust has been broken in a major, probably irreparable way.


It’s only worth it to determine if he cheated. If Op tests clean, that dude is done regardless.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 21:00     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
I am a woman and had herpes for years and I had a healthy baby. Nit trying to condone your fiancé, just saying you’ll most likely be ok.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 20:58     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd ask to see the paperwork that he recently ran across. On the health portal so he can't fudge the dates.


Is it worth going through all that? The net of it is the trust has been broken in a major, probably irreparable way.


DP.

It is worth it. November vs years ago makes a difference. If he truly did not know until November, I can see how he was scared for 3 months. If he knew all along and was waiting to trap you with the baby before telling you, that's another story.


No, because it’s impossible to have a HSV-2 diagnosis and not have your daughter call about it. He’s lying.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 20:57     Subject: Re:I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His lying is deeply troubling. You are not being overly dramatic.

+1 He's had it for years but he never looked at the lab report? I call BS on that. The dr would've seen the results and called him.

He didn't want to tell you, full stop. He couldn't get erect because he knew he would have to eventually tell you because you are now pregnant, and this could put the baby's health in danger.

Did you get yourself tested?


Wednesday - I have my anatomy scan then, so I’m going to tell my OB what’s going on and get tested.

thinking good thoughts for you, OP.

FWIW, a friend of mine got gonorrhea from a guy before she had kids. She now has two healthy kids - 20 and 15.

How is this relevant? Gonorrhea is curable with antibiotics.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 20:56     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:If you can find a way to drift away and not name him on the birth certificate, OP, you should. You don’t want a lying creep like this in your life and it just takes his nagging mom hearing a redacted version of his story to decide you’re the bad guy and to convince him to fight for custody

Slight variation. If you have non-local family that will be supportive, take a vacation to see them. The vacation just won’t end. Establish residency in that state immediately. Then focus on your pregnancy and postpartum healing.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 20:53     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:I think he cheated on you. Sorry. And I think you know that. Hence your intense reaction.

Of course he cheated. That’s why he hasn’t been having sex and was tested.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 20:48     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd ask to see the paperwork that he recently ran across. On the health portal so he can't fudge the dates.


Is it worth going through all that? The net of it is the trust has been broken in a major, probably irreparable way.


DP.

It is worth it. November vs years ago makes a difference. If he truly did not know until November, I can see how he was scared for 3 months. If he knew all along and was waiting to trap you with the baby before telling you, that's another story.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 20:43     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Why are you posting here right now and not sitting in the waiting room of a clinic or doctors office?

This is where you end it. Don't even think about marriage.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 20:23     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Nobody else wants him because of his erection problems. He lucky you wanted, so he stayed silent.
He decided to confess, because it's better to know for the baby's sake.
You are very dramatic though. Drama is dopamine for some people.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:37     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think he cheated on you. Sorry. And I think you know that. Hence your intense reaction.

+1 no way he didn't "see the report" until now. The dr would've called him.


Yup. He’s lying.

I think he probably cheated and the test was recent. But challenge him to show you the results on the portal. Not a printout. On the actual portal.

And you are most emphatically not overreacting. How dare he.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:36     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's overdramatic, can't the baby be born blind? I'd be furious.

Plus, the thing about having being tested years ago and looking it up in his chart 5 months ago and finding out makes no sense and is obviously a lie.

OP, you need to go to the doctor and hope for the best.


No, the baby can DIE. Herpes is extremely dangerous
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:36     Subject: Re:I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His lying is deeply troubling. You are not being overly dramatic.

+1 He's had it for years but he never looked at the lab report? I call BS on that. The dr would've seen the results and called him.

He didn't want to tell you, full stop. He couldn't get erect because he knew he would have to eventually tell you because you are now pregnant, and this could put the baby's health in danger.

Did you get yourself tested?


Wednesday - I have my anatomy scan then, so I’m going to tell my OB what’s going on and get tested.

thinking good thoughts for you, OP.

FWIW, a friend of mine got gonorrhea from a guy before she had kids. She now has two healthy kids - 20 and 15.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:35     Subject: Re:I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Which version of it? One version is very common, something like 75% of peopel have it. HSV-1 I think?


I’m not sure. I was so shocked and angry that I haven’t asked. I know that I should’ve…


OP, you are wildly overdramatic. Your doctor will tell you this, so listen up, but there are two kinds, and one is more serious than the other. Also, there is a pill you can take while pregnant and it will be a non-event.

I got HSV-1 when I was a baby and a relative with a cold sore kissed me on the mouth. I was really sick at the time but recovered and ever since then I will have flare ups of cold sores maybe 1-2 times a year during periods of high stress. If I had them more I could take a daily pill, but as it is I just take some when I feel one coming on and it immediately goes away.

You sound very immature and frankly probably shouldn't be getting married (much less having a child!). Seek help.


He's obviously not talking about cold sores on his mouth.


FYI. I know someone whose baby died from even the cold sore type Someone with that kissed the baby and it infected their brain. They lingered for years in a near vegetable state then died. So even that mild kind needs real precautions with infants.


Because it's the SAME virus!!!
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:34     Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Nah - move on
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:32     Subject: Re:I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His lying is deeply troubling. You are not being overly dramatic.

+1 He's had it for years but he never looked at the lab report? I call BS on that. The dr would've seen the results and called him.

He didn't want to tell you, full stop. He couldn't get erect because he knew he would have to eventually tell you because you are now pregnant, and this could put the baby's health in danger.

Did you get yourself tested?


Wednesday - I have my anatomy scan then, so I’m going to tell my OB what’s going on and get tested.