Anonymous wrote:No plans made or talked about. I feel like it's a bad idea to stay with someone who just does not care. I have mentioned that it's something that is important to me and that it is coming up a few times. In early 40s, both divorced, dating about 11 months.

Who cares about V day? Are you having great sex? Does he satisfy you in bed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

How can this be? You don’t sound like you’re in a relationship at all. Like what the heck? Wake up OP.

He's seeing someone else, is still married or just does not care. At all.

PP here and just seeing this. Geez, I’d definitely break up. Don’t settle for crumbs. It’s not surprising he is ignoring V-day - it’s consistent with his prior behavior.

This is supposed to be the honeymoon period, and this is his best behavior. It sounds more like you’re casually dating than in a serious relationship.

Break up.

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

+1 How is he the other holidays/days of the year? How is your relationship? This can’t really be answered in isolation.

I personally don’t care about Valentine's Day in the least, and DH and I might not even remember to wish each other a happy one, but we’re very much on the same page. The fact that you’ve mentioned it several times means that you have conveyed to your partner that it’s important to you, and it’s problematic if he still doesn’t GAF. But context is everything. How is your relationship in general?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

How can this be? You don’t sound like you’re in a relationship at all. Like what the heck? Wake up OP.

He's seeing someone else, is still married or just does not care. At all.

Youre funny

My boyfriend is early 40s and he's pumped for valentines. He booked a waterfront hotel for the 15th, and I'm getting us dinner. (Have our kids on actual valentines, then they go to Co parents) Got him a card and chocolate. I don't care about gifts but the experience is important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

How can this be? You don’t sound like you’re in a relationship at all. Like what the heck? Wake up OP.

Anonymous wrote:No plans made or talked about. I feel like it's a bad idea to stay with someone who just does not care. I have mentioned that it's something that is important to me and that it is coming up a few times. In early 40s, both divorced, dating about 11 months.

Absolutely not. Are you sure you’re not in hs? Valentine’s Day is a made up commercial holiday that has little meaning outside of candy and card companies making money off you. I could see buying two Georgetown cupcakes or treats to nibble and calling a day.

Anonymous wrote:You decide what is important to you.

Valentine's Day is not important to me and would not be important to anyone I would want to be with in my 40s.

If it is important to you, you could say, "I would really like to do something to celebrate Valentine's Day with you. Here are a couple of ideas... what do you think of them?" And suggest things you would both like to do.

+1

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Anonymous wrote:This is why I am glad that I am single and not looking in my 40s. What is it with women that you have to endlessly show them that you love them? It's exhausting

Huh? If you're not a psychopath, usually when you love someone you WANT to show it. Thank goodness you aren't subjecting women to... whatever this is.

I'll have to agree with you. I am not the most affectionate person but even I know from time to time you need to show your girlfriend/wife that you love her. Women are nurturing by nature, so they expect basic appreciation and every man must know this.

But hey the PP is single so that explains it.

Anonymous wrote:If you have communicated this and he is not listening while you are dating, it's probably best to move on and find someone more compatible.

It isn’t a good sign for aLTR.

What nobody ever mentions is that 99.9% of women who “care” about valentine’s day do so because their partners absolutely suck at making them feel loved the other 99.9% of the time. You should break up anyway.

If you have communicated this and he is not listening while you are dating, it's probably best to move on and find someone more compatible.

I think if it really means a lot to you, you need to communicate it. Also what are you planning for Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day happens to be my husband's birthday so that's the primary focus. I don't want him buying me stuff on his birthday. But we also do a lot together day to day so holidays aren't a big focus.

Also ask, is this really about Valentine's Day or is this a symbol for other issues?

Anonymous wrote:This is why I am glad that I am single and not looking in my 40s. What is it with women that you have to endlessly show them that you love them? It's exhausting

Huh? If you're not a psychopath, usually when you love someone you WANT to show it. Thank goodness you aren't subjecting women to... whatever this is.