OP, I feel for you. Grief and anxiety are so, so difficult.

How is your sleep? In the past I have had doctors prescribe hydroxyzine. It’s an antihistamine, so docs are less reluctant to write a script for it than for the hypnotic sleeping pills. However, it helps some people in some instances and can even ease anxiety. I’ve also had some luck downloading a yoga nidra recording to my phone to help with falling asleep asleep. (It can be good for daytime breaks from anxiety too.)

If you feel you need to hit the brakes, can you start scheduling some PTO from work? Take a day or half day to make medical appointments for yourself. Have a short week or several to look forward to.

If you feel like you’re on the edge of crisis, can you take a leave of absence? Caring for a loved one with a terminal illness qualifies you for FMLA.

Also, can you do something for self care that helps you to reconnect with your body? Sign up for a Pilates class, get a massage, have a facial. Having something pleasant in your life can be helpful, as are activities that ground you.