Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Understood. But kids whose father died will be the first to realize that life isn't fair and sometimes it sucks. Cobra is $$$, and I can't think of any decent job offering benefits, for which a 9-2 schedule would be an option. Maybe part-time nannying, but most of those jobs aren't going to offer benefits (similar to 9-12 childcare jobs.)

Door dash, Uber, yes, are more flexible, but OP doesn't want to do that kind of work or put her car through that (understandable.)

OP here. I said this in my original post but it probably got lost in the details:

I don’t need the 9-2 job to have benefits. I do need it to pay
I need a job now so I can put fresh dates on a stale resume

When we get a new routine going and I can catch my breath, I can begin looking for true full-time professional work that will include healthcare.

Preschool teacher.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Understood. But kids whose father died will be the first to realize that life isn't fair and sometimes it sucks. Cobra is $$$, and I can't think of any decent job offering benefits, for which a 9-2 schedule would be an option. Maybe part-time nannying, but most of those jobs aren't going to offer benefits (similar to 9-12 childcare jobs.)

Door dash, Uber, yes, are more flexible, but OP doesn't want to do that kind of work or put her car through that (understandable.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Thank you for understanding. My kids need to be with their friends and their adult mentors, particularly their male coaches and instructors. I don’t want to isolate them at home or have them face further losses just now.

This impulse is both understandable and arguably misguided. Your lives have changed, pretending they have not is going to be counterproductive. The kids need to adapt to the new reality, as do you. Your priority should be your future financial security, not trying to completely insulate your kids from the impact of the loss you all have experienced by funding entirely optional social/sports/arts whatever activities. Get a full-time job with benefits and develop a solid financial plan for your retirement. That should be your highest priority, not trying to keep everything status quo ante, as nice (and as unrealistic) as that would be.

Are you giving this advice from the perspective of also being widowed and/or being a child of a widow, or from the perspective of being a financial advisor or accountant? I think there is a middle ground between your advice and “become homeless staying at home and keeping the kids in travel sports”. You’re addressing a balance sheet but not an entire life.

For immediate flexible job theres substitute teaching.
For benefits theres Teaching Assistant jobs, and some elementary schools end early.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Thank you for understanding. My kids need to be with their friends and their adult mentors, particularly their male coaches and instructors. I don’t want to isolate them at home or have them face further losses just now.

This impulse is both understandable and arguably misguided. Your lives have changed, pretending they have not is going to be counterproductive. The kids need to adapt to the new reality, as do you. Your priority should be your future financial security, not trying to completely insulate your kids from the impact of the loss you all have experienced by funding entirely optional social/sports/arts whatever activities. Get a full-time job with benefits and develop a solid financial plan for your retirement. That should be your highest priority, not trying to keep everything status quo ante, as nice (and as unrealistic) as that would be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Did you work full time then? Did you have ample money for paid help? If you have been through this, how did you make it work.

Please don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good; ideally the kids would stay with what they love, but prioritize getting a job and health insurance, and then play the widow card for a while to get extra help with carpools. Or import some relatives. Or swap some weekend childcare for someone to drive your kids. Or they have to quit for a while until you have more cash.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Thank you for understanding. My kids need to be with their friends and their adult mentors, particularly their male coaches and instructors. I don’t want to isolate them at home or have them face further losses just now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have the patience and love of humanity to be a special needs parapro, you might have luck finding a job. If working only school hours, that would give you time to look for other jobs.

Many districts have contract staff and they do not get the benefits that regular staff get. Cafeteria work can get outsourced. So think through that.

Could you pursue being an health care office manager/administrator? Billing specialist? The offices I go to employ long-term reliable staff for these purposes.

Yes to paraprof. And it’s possible that once in the job, the school system will pay for your licensing if you want to become a teacher.

OP and that is why friends recommended it. I could have access to licensing or alternative licensing and the substitute pool when and if I was ready to do so. Not in MCPS but we have similar benefits in our area where I could receive benefits while doing an 8:30-2:00 para schedule with or without lunch hours depending on the role.

I’m not going to be able to return to my old role or industry (very NYC specific, we relocated down here for DH’s job) and I’m realistic about that. I’m also not young enough to launch a professional role in an entirely new corporate industry. Education isn’t dream job but frankly my dream jobs are 20 years in my past. A solid salary with benefits is enough. I do enjoy children and have coached and run Girl Scout activities and troops since my single days; I just never imagined it as a profession.

I have thought about healthcare a lot. I don’t know how I could handle things like needles and IVs and wounds/sores. I even had a late night of googling how potential nurses and doctors get over that because I would like to care for people and there are so many open jobs near me.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure you should prioritize extracurriculars over your career

This, for sure. Look out for yourself first, as nobody else will. You need to have a vision and a plan for your eventual retirement, That should involve obtaining well-paid full-time employment ASAP, so you can begin building your retirement savings.

If you have a professional background, contact staffing agencies relates to what you did (bookkeeping, paralegal, communications). You may be able to find a part-time, and or work from home gig that could work. You may need to take something you don’t love, but it pays and gets you started, then you can be more selective moving forward.

What's your end goal? You talk about building your professional resume, so I assume you're hoping for a job that will help lead you to a specific kind of job.

And unfortunately, you're going to have to give up on those hours. You could maybe do a PT job and get help for the other couple days?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paraeducator. Short days, get experience, healthcare included, if your principal is good and likes you they might find a job like front desk etc for you.

What did you do before you got married?

Part time paraeducators don’t get benefits.

Live outside DC but ours work 8-3 or 8:30-3 is and the pay is awful but the get great healthcare (they have their now union). I would look into para and then look into getting a degree so you can teach. Look into special education since schools need more of those kinds of teachers. Again pay is not great but you would get a pension if you stay long enough and excellent healthcare.

Or as someone else said look into CNA and then be your RN. Could be a nurse who works a few 12 hour shifts if your kids are older or be a school nurse.

Talk to friends and family and tell them you need a job with benefits. Maybe someone knows if something and can get you in the door. If you’re offered 9-5 take it and just ask friends and neighbors to help with carpooling for awhile. People will understand.

When I was a child and was with a single parent (other died) basically we couldn’t for the travel sports. It wasn’t possible for our mom to do all that driving while working all the time. We had friends some family and neighbors who helped out, but I learned from an early age you can’t always get what you want. I understand you wanting your kids lives to be normal so ask for help while you can.

Look at state and local as well. Again probably be more of a 9-5 but it’s excellent benefits in many areas

If you have are local, MCPS currently gives benefits to .5 or higher paras (minimum 20 hours/week).

Paras in my district are part time, there no benefits.