Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 16:09     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kid's applying to Choate, Andover, St. Paul's, and Deerfield along with the local DMV privates. Can anyone say if the New England schools are better?


Who dumps their kids into boarding schools a thousand miles away?


What I find so odd is how a few people react to another family’s choice (provided they are fortunate enough to get through the 10% admissions filter), despite that choice having zero impact on the critic.

Just… odd
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 13:15     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kid's applying to Choate, Andover, St. Paul's, and Deerfield along with the local DMV privates. Can anyone say if the New England schools are better?


Who dumps their kids into boarding schools a thousand miles away?


They're some of the best schools in the world, offer generous financial aid, and are an incredible opportunity.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 10:53     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kid's applying to Choate, Andover, St. Paul's, and Deerfield along with the local DMV privates. Can anyone say if the New England schools are better?


Who dumps their kids into boarding schools a thousand miles away?


Stop embarrassing yourself.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 10:22     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:My kid's applying to Choate, Andover, St. Paul's, and Deerfield along with the local DMV privates. Can anyone say if the New England schools are better?


Who dumps their kids into boarding schools a thousand miles away?
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 01:11     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:Outcomes are comparable to the top independent schools in DC, if that's a driver.


If we mean college outcomes, I'm not sure. I went to a NE boarding school in this general group and something like 10% of my class went HYP. I looked at their website just now, and that's basically still true today. It's nuts.

However, I don't think it's because the school has some secret Harvard magic. The education I got there was amazing, but the college outcomes are more about the students they're able to attract. Most of my classmates would likely have done super well in college admissions no matter where they went to high school.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 21:22     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s upside down world…but I wonder if boarding schools become more popular because they are net cheaper for many families compared to local day schools.

Deerfield said that no family will pay more than 10% AGI…in theory that means a family earning $500k will only pay $50k to attend Deerfield vs $60k+ in the DMV and $70k+ in NYC.

Gets significantly cheaper if your kid plays a travel sport like hockey since that’s included in the Deerfield price.


Yes, and Deerfield's admit rate has plunged even lower as a result. They used to be around 20% and now they're around 10% like Exeter and Andover. Their financial aid commitment has led to a spike in interest from upper-middle class families. For a typical upper-middle class DMV family raking in $250k-300k/year, spending $25k-$30k on a Deerfield education vs $60k on a Big 3 is a massive steal.


The difference is even greater than the tuition delta.

If you are a lacrosse/rowing/other expensive sport kid, you just saved $10-$15k per year on top of the $35k saved on tuition. And your grocery bill will go into a blissful free fall.

The family contribution percentage applies to all areas of the school: private test prep, preseason athletic travel, cultural travel overseas. I think the percentage even applies to individual music instruction? You’d have to check that one. But if you get a 60% tuition discount, that discount carries over into all things that add up on top of day school tuition, which does not cover those extras.

This isn’t unique to Deerfield. They are just leading the way, anlong with Andover and Exeter. Groton even has a name for the kids that all boarding schools are now courting: the missing middle. None of these schools want to limit their classes to billionaires and full rides. They want a mix. So the upper middle class families are definitely paying attention. The schools are following the generous private colleges who often make their schools less expensive than the student’s state school. It’s terrific!
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 15:27     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you care about status and staying elite then BS is the way to go. While some students are there for the education, most are there because it’s a status symbol.

If your child moves to NY or LA or really anywhere, a BS education will benefit them more with the right crowds. Many in DC will argue that DC privates are well known but I disagree. I think Dallas privates are more recognized than DC privates besides maybe Sidwell. There isn’t enough money in DC.


This really doesn’t hold true, in my experience.

Kids were either at Andover for the education or for the education and because they have family legacy there.

These schools are just too hard to get into for someone who is only interested in it for status to have much of a chance at getting in and succeeding.

Andover’s unofficial motto is “sink or swim.” I found it much harder than college, FWIW.


Andover and Exeter are too big to give much hand-holding or warmth. They are basically liberal arts colleges for teenagers. If your kid wants a traditional boarding school experience with a strong sense of community, they need to look at Hotchkiss, Deerfield, St. Paul's, etc. all the schools with ~600 students or less have much more oversight. Or, consider applying to second-tier/third-tier boarding schools such as Westminster, Peddie, Avon, or Berkshire. These schools have a much broader array of academic talent, so there's not the "sink or swim" mentality or expectation students figure out material themselves.


PP here. I want to be clear — Andover teachers were still very supportive, and the sense of community is strong.

The motto comes from the academic intensity.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 13:45     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you care about status and staying elite then BS is the way to go. While some students are there for the education, most are there because it’s a status symbol.

If your child moves to NY or LA or really anywhere, a BS education will benefit them more with the right crowds. Many in DC will argue that DC privates are well known but I disagree. I think Dallas privates are more recognized than DC privates besides maybe Sidwell. There isn’t enough money in DC.


This really doesn’t hold true, in my experience.

Kids were either at Andover for the education or for the education and because they have family legacy there.

These schools are just too hard to get into for someone who is only interested in it for status to have much of a chance at getting in and succeeding.

Andover’s unofficial motto is “sink or swim.” I found it much harder than college, FWIW.


Andover and Exeter are too big to give much hand-holding or warmth. They are basically liberal arts colleges for teenagers. If your kid wants a traditional boarding school experience with a strong sense of community, they need to look at Hotchkiss, Deerfield, St. Paul's, etc. all the schools with ~600 students or less have much more oversight. Or, consider applying to second-tier/third-tier boarding schools such as Westminster, Peddie, Avon, or Berkshire. These schools have a much broader array of academic talent, so there's not the "sink or swim" mentality or expectation students figure out material themselves.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 13:41     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

If your kid can handle it mentally and is interested, it can be an amazing experience. I attended BS in the late 1990s. My kids are not interested, so I am not pushing them, but I really loved my experience. I think it did affect me culturally, too, even though i did not grow up wealthy (attended on scholarship).
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 13:36     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:It’s upside down world…but I wonder if boarding schools become more popular because they are net cheaper for many families compared to local day schools.

Deerfield said that no family will pay more than 10% AGI…in theory that means a family earning $500k will only pay $50k to attend Deerfield vs $60k+ in the DMV and $70k+ in NYC.

Gets significantly cheaper if your kid plays a travel sport like hockey since that’s included in the Deerfield price.


Yes, and Deerfield's admit rate has plunged even lower as a result. They used to be around 20% and now they're around 10% like Exeter and Andover. Their financial aid commitment has led to a spike in interest from upper-middle class families. For a typical upper-middle class DMV family raking in $250k-300k/year, spending $25k-$30k on a Deerfield education vs $60k on a Big 3 is a massive steal.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 13:33     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:It’s upside down world…but I wonder if boarding schools become more popular because they are net cheaper for many families compared to local day schools.

Deerfield said that no family will pay more than 10% AGI…in theory that means a family earning $500k will only pay $50k to attend Deerfield vs $60k+ in the DMV and $70k+ in NYC.

Gets significantly cheaper if your kid plays a travel sport like hockey since that’s included in the Deerfield price.


This is broadly correct. If you're a middle or upper-middle class family, the financial aid at a strong boarding school outstrips what you'd receive at the local day schools. Boarding schools are just much wealthier.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 13:29     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you care about status and staying elite then BS is the way to go. While some students are there for the education, most are there because it’s a status symbol.

If your child moves to NY or LA or really anywhere, a BS education will benefit them more with the right crowds. Many in DC will argue that DC privates are well known but I disagree. I think Dallas privates are more recognized than DC privates besides maybe Sidwell. There isn’t enough money in DC.


This really doesn’t hold true, in my experience.

Kids were either at Andover for the education or for the education and because they have family legacy there.

These schools are just too hard to get into for someone who is only interested in it for status to have much of a chance at getting in and succeeding.

Andover’s unofficial motto is “sink or swim.” I found it much harder than college, FWIW.


Family legacy is status


Yes. But most are not going solely because of family legacy. Legacy kids get rejected. Faculty kids get rejected.

It’s simply too difficult of a school for a kid to graduate without working hard.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 13:00     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you care about status and staying elite then BS is the way to go. While some students are there for the education, most are there because it’s a status symbol.

If your child moves to NY or LA or really anywhere, a BS education will benefit them more with the right crowds. Many in DC will argue that DC privates are well known but I disagree. I think Dallas privates are more recognized than DC privates besides maybe Sidwell. There isn’t enough money in DC.


This really doesn’t hold true, in my experience.

Kids were either at Andover for the education or for the education and because they have family legacy there.

These schools are just too hard to get into for someone who is only interested in it for status to have much of a chance at getting in and succeeding.

Andover’s unofficial motto is “sink or swim.” I found it much harder than college, FWIW.


Family legacy is status
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 12:48     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

Anonymous wrote:If you care about status and staying elite then BS is the way to go. While some students are there for the education, most are there because it’s a status symbol.

If your child moves to NY or LA or really anywhere, a BS education will benefit them more with the right crowds. Many in DC will argue that DC privates are well known but I disagree. I think Dallas privates are more recognized than DC privates besides maybe Sidwell. There isn’t enough money in DC.


This really doesn’t hold true, in my experience.

Kids were either at Andover for the education or for the education and because they have family legacy there.

These schools are just too hard to get into for someone who is only interested in it for status to have much of a chance at getting in and succeeding.

Andover’s unofficial motto is “sink or swim.” I found it much harder than college, FWIW.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 12:43     Subject: New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

If you care about status and staying elite then BS is the way to go. While some students are there for the education, most are there because it’s a status symbol.

If your child moves to NY or LA or really anywhere, a BS education will benefit them more with the right crowds. Many in DC will argue that DC privates are well known but I disagree. I think Dallas privates are more recognized than DC privates besides maybe Sidwell. There isn’t enough money in DC.