Anonymous wrote:My feeling about it is this. Everything in life is not going to come easy for my kids and even if they work really hard, they won't be successful in everything. College is a great and supportive environment to figure out how to build yourself back up after something doesn't go well. Colleges accommodate disabilities. They offer free tutoring. There are all kinds of supports. I always feel bad for my kids when they don't do as well as they would like. But, I let them figure out what it is that they need to do differently and support them. I do offer suggestions if they ask or if I don't see that they are figuring things out.
One of my kids has disabilities that affect his ability to be successful in college. He didn't feel the need to engage in the disability support office in the beginning and as a result he didn't get accommodations that semester. - or good grades. But he learned a lot - like how to secure tutoring and when he needed to engage the disability support office. Another of my kids got their first C ever in college. She was really sad, but she was able to figure out that it was her fault for not admitting that she was struggling early enough to get the support she needed to get a better grade. It also helped her to narrow down what she wants to study - she learned that she does not, in fact, like certain subjects that she thought she did. So, I'm sorry she got a C but she grew a lot as a result.
I will say for my son, there are consequences. He is at a community college and wants to transfer to UMD-CP. As a result of the tough semester, he wasn't eligible until he completed two years at community college.
This is the way. My DS also had his worst semester in the fall and got his first C and it might genuinely impact his ability to secure a summer internship. I hate that for him, but he has to figure it out. DH and I of course make suggestions and talk through things with him. He knows we’re disappointed in how last semester went, but so is he.