Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

They want people they know and care about

Sounds like OP's connection to the bride is through her husband. He is probably who the bride would care if he did or didn't attend the ceremony

No, brides don't want a half-empty venue. She sent out invitations. She wants as many people there as possible.

Then the bride won't have a problem with OP's tween filling a seat in the pew.

So you get to make up the rules that would suit you, not the person actually getting married. The entitlement of some of you is staggering.

Many people's etiquette systems indicate that a church cannot be private. That any member of the community may be present at a church ceremony. You may not personally believe this, but it is part of some etiquette systems.

Furthermore, one of the most amazing things that ever happened to me was when I went to a historic pilgrimage church in Spain. With continuous open access to the church and hundreds of tourists in the building. Including people lined up to access the shrine in the apse.

A mass began and I sat down to listen to the beautiful music. Then all of a sudden a bridal party came down the aisle. I was gobsmacked. I stayed for the entire wedding mass.

Then I got up and queued for the shrine. As I waited in line on the second story of the church, I saw a mass begin and the same thing happened again. Another bride came down the aisle. Apparently this church lines up weddings like planes at O'Hara. And it's completely normal. Some are fancy planned-ahead weddings and some are same-day snap decisions. If you get married there, you have zero control of who attends. Amazing!

People didn't always tote their kids along like little emotional support animals. And older tweens used to enjoy home alone time. This is how you end up with sexually active 19 year olds having mommy call the pediatrician about that lesion on their privates instead of having a gynecologist or at least calling themselves. (There is such a thread.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

They want people they know and care about

Sounds like OP's connection to the bride is through her husband. He is probably who the bride would care if he did or didn't attend the ceremony

No, brides don't want a half-empty venue. She sent out invitations. She wants as many people there as possible.

Then the bride won't have a problem with OP's tween filling a seat in the pew.

So you get to make up the rules that would suit you, not the person actually getting married. The entitlement of some of you is staggering.

Exactly! OP should have RSVPs no if she didn't want to go.

I strongly disagree. When I got married, I invited families, with their kids if they had some, and if some people arrived late or had to leave early, for whatever reason, I didn't mind at all. I reject this whole Bridezilla thing where everyone feels rigidly enclosed in a particular set of rules. Weddings are meant to be enjoyed and people cannot do that if they feel marshaled into a regiment.

How old is she exactly? there is a big difference between 10 and 12. Regardless, I'd go to the wedding and dinner. I might leave after dinner if she was 10 years old so she is not home too late by herself. I don't get the point of skipping the actual ceremony to cut the time shorter by an hour or less.

How old is tween? Whether the kid is 10 or 12 matters. I wouldn’t leave a 10-11 year old home alone at night while I’m 20 minutes away, a 12 year old yes if they were comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:No ruder than them excluding one of your family members.

Exactly. Do what is best for your family, OP. This isn't something to agonize over. They didn't invite your kid, you can skip their ceremony. Or do the ceremony and skip the rest. Or attend everything or attend nothing. There is no wrong answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

They want people they know and care about

Sounds like OP's connection to the bride is through her husband. He is probably who the bride would care if he did or didn't attend the ceremony

No, brides don't want a half-empty venue. She sent out invitations. She wants as many people there as possible.

Then the bride won't have a problem with OP's tween filling a seat in the pew.

So you get to make up the rules that would suit you, not the person actually getting married. The entitlement of some of you is staggering.

Exactly! OP should have RSVPs no if she didn't want to go.

Anonymous wrote:This is why no kid weddings are rude and problematic. OP's tween is likely 100% capable of behaving at the wedding and reception.

Do better people!

If you're not paying it isn't your rules.

Want as many people at the church as possible?

How strange. Is it for social media pictures?

I just booked a church and there was no way all the people i invited were going to fill it. It was too big for that.

Anonymous wrote:This is why no kid weddings are rude and problematic. OP's tween is likely 100% capable of behaving at the wedding and reception.

Do better people!

Yeah do better for your children. Teach them how to manage life on their own for a couple of hours FFS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

They want people they know and care about

Sounds like OP's connection to the bride is through her husband. He is probably who the bride would care if he did or didn't attend the ceremony

No, brides don't want a half-empty venue. She sent out invitations. She wants as many people there as possible.

Then the bride won't have a problem with OP's tween filling a seat in the pew.

So you get to make up the rules that would suit you, not the person actually getting married. The entitlement of some of you is staggering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

They want people they know and care about

Sounds like OP's connection to the bride is through her husband. He is probably who the bride would care if he did or didn't attend the ceremony

No, brides don't want a half-empty venue. She sent out invitations. She wants as many people there as possible.

Then the bride won't have a problem with OP's tween filling a seat in the pew.

Why would she not have a problem with a guest she didn't invite? Your neuroses is not good for your child.

This is why no kid weddings are rude and problematic. OP's tween is likely 100% capable of behaving at the wedding and reception.

Do better people!

I would guess OP doesn't want to go to the wedding, is using DD as the excuse to not go, and was banking on DCUM helicopter moms to support her not leaving DD alone to get out of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

They want people they know and care about

Sounds like OP's connection to the bride is through her husband. He is probably who the bride would care if he did or didn't attend the ceremony

No, brides don't want a half-empty venue. She sent out invitations. She wants as many people there as possible.

Then the bride won't have a problem with OP's tween filling a seat in the pew.