Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 23:14     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
This process can become overly transactional. Between PSDs and consultants, families are sometimes pulled into strategies and signaling that feel disconnected from what really matters, the child. And families end up spending enormous amounts of money for guidance that doesn’t serve them well.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 23:08     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
Anonymous wrote:LA has a connected preschool to Brearley?


No but most big cities have feeder PSs for the local privates. I’d guess they can make calls to NYC ones and would know how to play the game to get a positive result.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 23:03     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
The only winning move is not to play
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 22:59     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You need a reality check and God if you are “devastated” over this.


Get over yourself!


If you don't know or care to know how the game is played, you should step off the field.


That doesn’t mean it’s right
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 22:54     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
so sick of the games, not healthy
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 22:39     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
LA has a connected preschool to Brearley?
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 22:37     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
"Game is played" it's private kindergarten, get over yourself; this is about whether or not your precious darling gets to do Artisanal Phonics and Hand-Pulled Arithmetic, it's nowhere near the stakes of an actual game.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 22:33     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You need a reality check and God if you are “devastated” over this.


Get over yourself!


If you don't know or care to know how the game is played, you should step off the field.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 17:39     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Had this same experience last year at a SS girls school after what we thought was super positive feedback. WL ended up not moving. It was frustrating to have had our hopes up for what seemed like no good reason, especially as we had initially thought the school was a long shot. Hang in there! It will work out for the best


Curious what school? Now I am even more nervous.

If we get waitlisted to our second choice I think our child will need to go to our zoned public school. Which also means she would have to skip to 1st grade. Oh what fun.


If you've only applied to 2 schools you must know this is a possibility???


We applied to more than 2 schools. We applied to 8. A mid of co-ed and SS


Why do they recommend applying to 8-10 if you almost never get in without a FC letter? Does anyone actually get more than 1-2 admits?


Preschools recommend applying to 8-10 because after you apply you schedule all the appointments that help you learn about the school, and some schools from that list of 8-10 won’t feel like a fit, but you don’t know which ones until after you apply. And then of the subset that do feel like a fit on your end, some may not feel like your child/family is a fit or may not have an opening for your child’s profile after letting in siblings and legacies. For the most part, from a connected preschool, people do not get more than 1-2 admits. The whole idea is the preschool director is matching you to a school you like that likes you, so that you get into 1 school. Occasionally you get into a second school if they’re not yield sensitive, but most of them are.

Different set of circumstances if not coming from a connected preschool.


Thanks, very helpful. Let's say you are from an unconnected preschool or what is a connected preschool but in another city (like LA) that operates in a similar way there. How many should you apply to? How many can you realistically get into?


If you’re coming from somewhere where the preschool director would find it totally foreign to call the admissions offices at your top choice schools to get feedback, you’re not going to get feedback, and you send a first choice letter to your actual first choice, without knowing what they think of you. The tours and parent interviews and child playgroups and open houses will be an extra challenge to schedule if you live far away, so you’ll have to figure out realistically how many you can apply to. Plan for 3-4 in person appearance per application. Families who apply to 8 schools end up having 2-4 school appointments each week in October, November, and early December.

You still will probably only get into the school you send a first choice letter to, and can then work the waitlist at other schools if needed.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 17:37     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
They absolutely "broker" these kids---happens at the MS and HS level, too. It's wise to apply broadly and to keep a level head.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 17:33     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.


Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.



I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.


This is great advice!!!
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 17:30     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.


Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.



I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 17:28     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Had this same experience last year at a SS girls school after what we thought was super positive feedback. WL ended up not moving. It was frustrating to have had our hopes up for what seemed like no good reason, especially as we had initially thought the school was a long shot. Hang in there! It will work out for the best


Curious what school? Now I am even more nervous.

If we get waitlisted to our second choice I think our child will need to go to our zoned public school. Which also means she would have to skip to 1st grade. Oh what fun.


If you've only applied to 2 schools you must know this is a possibility???


We applied to more than 2 schools. We applied to 8. A mid of co-ed and SS


Why do they recommend applying to 8-10 if you almost never get in without a FC letter? Does anyone actually get more than 1-2 admits?


Preschools recommend applying to 8-10 because after you apply you schedule all the appointments that help you learn about the school, and some schools from that list of 8-10 won’t feel like a fit, but you don’t know which ones until after you apply. And then of the subset that do feel like a fit on your end, some may not feel like your child/family is a fit or may not have an opening for your child’s profile after letting in siblings and legacies. For the most part, from a connected preschool, people do not get more than 1-2 admits. The whole idea is the preschool director is matching you to a school you like that likes you, so that you get into 1 school. Occasionally you get into a second school if they’re not yield sensitive, but most of them are.

Different set of circumstances if not coming from a connected preschool.


Thanks, very helpful. Let's say you are from an unconnected preschool or what is a connected preschool but in another city (like LA) that operates in a similar way there. How many should you apply to? How many can you realistically get into?
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 17:24     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Had this same experience last year at a SS girls school after what we thought was super positive feedback. WL ended up not moving. It was frustrating to have had our hopes up for what seemed like no good reason, especially as we had initially thought the school was a long shot. Hang in there! It will work out for the best


Curious what school? Now I am even more nervous.

If we get waitlisted to our second choice I think our child will need to go to our zoned public school. Which also means she would have to skip to 1st grade. Oh what fun.


If you've only applied to 2 schools you must know this is a possibility???


We applied to more than 2 schools. We applied to 8. A mid of co-ed and SS


Why do they recommend applying to 8-10 if you almost never get in without a FC letter? Does anyone actually get more than 1-2 admits?


Preschools recommend applying to 8-10 because after you apply you schedule all the appointments that help you learn about the school, and some schools from that list of 8-10 won’t feel like a fit, but you don’t know which ones until after you apply. And then of the subset that do feel like a fit on your end, some may not feel like your child/family is a fit or may not have an opening for your child’s profile after letting in siblings and legacies. For the most part, from a connected preschool, people do not get more than 1-2 admits. The whole idea is the preschool director is matching you to a school you like that likes you, so that you get into 1 school. Occasionally you get into a second school if they’re not yield sensitive, but most of them are.

Different set of circumstances if not coming from a connected preschool.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2026 16:40     Subject: Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school
What schools notified already?