Oh and the kids are doing well in school, but you know this area. They are solid A/A- students in the AP classes they can take and good at sports but nothing that's going to be a major hook at college (travel soccer, tennis, crew). URM. It would be great if they could get some merit, not sure if we'll qualify for financial aid.

OP here. Thanks all, this is about what I expected.

ExDH makes 3-4x what I do and will have an inheritance of 2-3M, but he's made a point of 'punishing' me for divorcing him and, yes, he would extend it to the kids. So I can't count on it.

I'm thinking of earmarking an additional 50-100k per child from retirement, working longer, and holding off on any big vacations for 3-5 years. I actually love my job and expect to work longer, just being conservative. My field also tops out at 100k annually, so that's my max income.

It's just been a long and tough road to get here, but I need to just dig deeper for the next five years.

I’m a single parent and I used to love traveling. I haven’t been abroad since before my kid was born. I am mentally planning my trips for when my kid graduates. I’ve got 3 more years. If I were you, I’d wait to go on the international trips. College is $$$$ and it’s only getting more expensive every year. Just my 2 cents. GL!