From what I have observed, an alcoholic may seem happy on the outside. But they feel bad because of the impact of their alcoholism on the people around them.

I am age 56 and never started drinking because I thought it seemed unhealthy. So I have never missed it because I never started it. I don't even call myself "sober" because there was never anything to quit. I'm hoping that my kids (young adults) follow my lead in this realm, rather than my husband's lead (became a heavy drinker and then had to quit altogether).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you drink 2-3 glasses of wine every single night, are you an alcoholic?

Male or female? Alone or with others? My answer is yes, I would call myself an alcoholic if I drank that much, but I’ll get a lot of pushback from others. I am ACOA and am told this makes me hypersensitive to “normal” amounts of booze.

DP. Hypersensitive how? It’s true you need to be mindful given the genetic tenancies of alcoholism but there’s not a threshold amount that triggers it. Plenty of ACOA can consume normal amounts of alcohol with no issues.

I don't think 2-3 glasses every night is "normal" for someone who doesn't have a problem.

No one is saying that’s a normal amount.

Read the entire thread - it would seem that you and I agree, 2-3 glasses a night isn't normal. The person I responded to implied that it was "normal amounts" - so at least one person considers it "normal"...

well, once alcoholism really progresses, it creates its own misery, usually, regardless of how it starts.

While I am not an alcoholic, I got in a bad habit of having a drink almost every night (sometimes two) as a wind down/stress reliever. I have managed to cut way back (still have 1 or 2 a week if I go out) and I am neither happier nor unhappier. I just have found different ways of coping with stress/transitions.

I wish I could say that my skin looks amazing, my sleep is amazing and I lost 5 lbs, but everything seems about the same, with the difference that now if I have any more than 1 glass of wine--and sometimes even with one--my sleep sucks. I guess I had developed a tolerance that I've now lost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No happy person drinks to excess. No happy person drinks daily.

Lots of people can fake it, and many do (for a time). The fantasy of functionality is one of the biggest mindgames of addiction.

Plenty of happy people drink to excess from time to time.

Plenty of happy people drink from time to time? Sure.

Drink to excess? Nope.

When you drink to excess, you're trying to escape something, numb something, or force something (ie, force a good time). Happy, content, secure people don't do those things.

Exactly this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No happy person drinks to excess. No happy person drinks daily.

Lots of people can fake it, and many do (for a time). The fantasy of functionality is one of the biggest mindgames of addiction.

Plenty of happy people drink to excess from time to time.

Nah, buddy. They really don't, at least not after their 20s. People who can drink responsibly, on occasion, know when to stop. Nobody getting wasted is doing it because they're so happy. It's a lie.

DP. Disagree. It all depends. Drinking in excess a couple of times per year is different than doing it every weekend. The latter is the kind of behavior that typically stops for most people in their 20s. Drinking too much at a wedding or an event with friends? Totally different. People love to categorize drinking in black and white terms—and for some recovering alcoholics that’s necessary—but for a lot of people it’s just a way to be judgmental and pious about alcohol.

Still no. Drinking too much is drinking too much, i.e. a problem controlling one's alcohol intake. Nobody gets wasted at a wedding because they're comfortable in their own skin and happy with the company they're keeping. People get wasted at weddings because they're bored, or stressed, or petty, or have an uncontrollable issue with alcohol use. It's not "pious" to point that out, and your need to lash out defensively about this sort of behavior is yet another sign you probably have a problem.

Anonymous wrote:If you drink 2-3 glasses of wine every single night, are you an alcoholic?

This type of question is why the medical community is not using the terminology alcoholic anymore - it's alcohol use disorder. Because you can live for a long time drinking 3 glasses of wine every night and telling your self it's fine because "you're not an alcoholic." But the truth is that alcohol is an addictive substance and if you're already overusing the odds are that you will spiral into addition at some point.

That's my personal story - one glass a night turned to two, then three, then a whole bottle, then two bottles, then vodka ... but it took 25ish years. But I 100% had and issue with disordered alcohol use way before I would have called myself an alcoholic.

Anonymous wrote:If you drink 2-3 glasses of wine every single night, are you an alcoholic?

yes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you drink 2-3 glasses of wine every single night, are you an alcoholic?

Male or female? Alone or with others? My answer is yes, I would call myself an alcoholic if I drank that much, but I’ll get a lot of pushback from others. I am ACOA and am told this makes me hypersensitive to “normal” amounts of booze.

DP. Hypersensitive how? It’s true you need to be mindful given the genetic tenancies of alcoholism but there’s not a threshold amount that triggers it. Plenty of ACOA can consume normal amounts of alcohol with no issues.

I don't think 2-3 glasses every night is "normal" for someone who doesn't have a problem.

No one is saying that’s a normal amount.

Alcoholics in recovery are extremely happy.

I'm glad this has been your experience. This is not what I have observed. My recovered friends have issues and are not leading ordinary, happy lives though it's nice drinking isn't adding to their problems. I'm glad they went to AA. They are devoted to AA, have made being a recovered alcoholic their identity, seems like their whole identity. I don't see them moving-on or past that.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No happy person drinks to excess. No happy person drinks daily.

Lots of people can fake it, and many do (for a time). The fantasy of functionality is one of the biggest mindgames of addiction.

Plenty of happy people drink to excess from time to time.

Plenty of happy people drink from time to time? Sure.

Drink to excess? Nope.

When you drink to excess, you're trying to escape something, numb something, or force something (ie, force a good time). Happy, content, secure people don't do those things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you drink 2-3 glasses of wine every single night, are you an alcoholic?

Male or female? Alone or with others? My answer is yes, I would call myself an alcoholic if I drank that much, but I’ll get a lot of pushback from others. I am ACOA and am told this makes me hypersensitive to “normal” amounts of booze.

DP. Hypersensitive how? It’s true you need to be mindful given the genetic tenancies of alcoholism but there’s not a threshold amount that triggers it. Plenty of ACOA can consume normal amounts of alcohol with no issues.

I don't think 2-3 glasses every night is "normal" for someone who doesn't have a problem.

They like to drink it makes then happy. They don't know how to be happy and social without drinking. That's what I was told by several alcoholics. They don't feel "fun" without the booze.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you drink 2-3 glasses of wine every single night, are you an alcoholic?

Male or female? Alone or with others? My answer is yes, I would call myself an alcoholic if I drank that much, but I’ll get a lot of pushback from others. I am ACOA and am told this makes me hypersensitive to “normal” amounts of booze.

DP. Hypersensitive how? It’s true you need to be mindful given the genetic tenancies of alcoholism but there’s not a threshold amount that triggers it. Plenty of ACOA can consume normal amounts of alcohol with no issues.

New person here. Due to the genetic component of alcoholic addiction those who are ACOA are more likely to become addicted.
I'm very careful about my consumption.

That’s literally what the PP said.

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. They are self-medicating their depression, pain, trauma, anxiety, etc.

And causing depression, pain, trauma, anxiety to all of those around them.