Anonymous wrote:I'm an adoptive parent and I just wanted to mention that putting the baby up for adoption is always a choice, and a loving, generous one.

I was adopted as an infant and unfortunately for me, my adoption experience did not fit the narrative in our country that adoption is a loving ➕ selfless gesture.

My adoptive parents were very abusive to me (and my siblings) and our childhoods were all pretty bad.

While some adoptions are very successful not all of them turn out to be.
I just wanted to put that out there that giving your child away to another family is not always the best solution to an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy.

I think I would have been extremely angry as well as disappointed because I had my children relatively young (at 19) and experienced first-hand how doing so impacted not only my own life but those of my children as well.

We did not have much money so life was never easy and I wouldn’t want my kids or grandkids face similar hardships in their own lives.

I think as parents - - we all want much better for our own children, right?

My sister had a baby at the beginning of her junior year of high school. We found a subsidized day care a few days a week at the local community college and we all (my mom, Dad and siblings) pitched in the rest of the time. After she graduated HS, she went to the community college for 2 years before transferring to a state school to finish her BA. She lived at home and commuted. It was absolutely a sacrifice and we all had to change plans to make it work but it was a total joy to have that baby. Her daughter is now an adult and just got a graduate degree from an ivy league school. School was not easy for my sister but it really wasn't an option for her to go without a degree (her chosen career requires it!).

It can and does work out but requires a lot support and encouragement along the way!

Anonymous wrote:Under 18 abortion.

Over 18 their call but do not expect help from me.

Isn’t that the opposite of choice?

Anonymous wrote:If your kid ended up pregnant or getting someone else pregnant at a young age and gave up on ever getting a college education, how did you handle it?

You would support and encourage to balance education and family. With free services and subsidies for young parents and support from both families, nee parents can take one semester off and then get back to school. Its going to be tough but it's definitely doable. Their life don't need to end because a new life started.

Under 18 abortion.

Over 18 their call but do not expect help from me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an adoptive parent and I just wanted to mention that putting the baby up for adoption is always a choice, and a loving, generous one.

I’m an a parent through adoption who’s seen the bad side and good side of no way I’d let a grandchild be put up for adoption if I had the choice. You can have a baby and go to college.

You can have an abortion.

Anonymous wrote:Ruth Bader Ginsberg had a baby, then a year later went to Harvard Law.
It's possible but the young parent needs to want it, be really organized and have family / spousal support.

not quite the same thing, IMO.

I had the baby.
Finished college. It took two extra semesters because I was in a program strand that required two semesters of fieldwork in infectious disease. I couldn’t do it while pregnant and caring for an infant. I switched strands, but had to do other coursework to understand the new field.
Went immediately to grad school and earned a master’s degree.
That baby graduated college and is rising fast in their career field.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A girl from my high school got pregnant in 10th grade. Or 11th don’t remember. Her and the boy are both attorneys now. She was in a gifted program in high school. She was always smart. She had a supportive and involved mother.

That baby is probably an attorney too now

Not that gifted if she accidentally got pregnant.

You don’t have to a genius to have a birth control failure.

Anonymous wrote:If your kid ended up pregnant or getting someone else pregnant at a young age and gave up on ever getting a college education, how did you handle it?

How young? was your child on their way to college already? Including good grades in high school?

Did you kid wanted to go to college and suddenly their plans changed?

I have a kid in College and I know to get there they had to work hard in HS, not every kids in HS wants to go to College.

I have friends who are successful and don't have College degrees.

I also have friends who had kids at a young age and got college degrees later in age, including myself.

I think your goal OP for your kid was College but not necessarily your kid's since they are giving up on the whole College idea themselves...

Hi. It’s me. I was married and pregnant early.
We’re all doing just fine. Educated and gainfully employed.

As for our two kids - both kids are as well. Our nest is just about empty and it’s been great.

Best of luck to your family

Honestly it would be easier to deal with the sleep depravation when you are younger. Then in your thirties the child is already a bit on the independent side so should have flexibility for higher education / career.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an adoptive parent and I just wanted to mention that putting the baby up for adoption is always a choice, and a loving, generous one.

I’m an a parent through adoption who’s seen the bad side and good side of no way I’d let a grandchild be put up for adoption if I had the choice. You can have a baby and go to college.

I'm an adoptive parent and I just wanted to mention that putting the baby up for adoption is always a choice, and a loving, generous one.