Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a now senior who sounds similar, and will now be attending his top choice school, here are my reflections:

- We let him manage himself freshman year, it was the first fully post-covid normal socializing. He had a good social experience. Grades were ok (B+ avg). Wish we would have ticked up academic expectations just a bit. But it worked out fine, and he was happy.

-Having a strong gpa is so important. We set gentle expectations for A's and taking an increasing # of AP classes each year and that worked out well such that a weighted 4.0 gpa gave him more options.

- We messed up and didn't start SAT prep until late junior year. He got a 1400 and went test optional at school he is attending. Grades and SAT are the most important, start SAT prep summer before junior year, get assistance, etc. to get the 1500+ score if possible.

- We required volunteer and ec's that he picked for every year. Robotics, student newspaper, and volunteering for three summers, in addition to basketball. Requiring those ec's helped greatly with admissions.

- starting late junior year, we as parents had idea of best school for him (SLAC), he wanted bit larger, social (Lehigh), we visited all and expressed great interest in SLAC (visits, interviews, attending student panels, emailing admissions, going when they visited his school). The demonstrated interest seemed to help. We let him take lead on his top choices.

If your kid needs to prep to get 1500+ on the SAT, your kid doesn’t belong in a 1500+ SAT school.

This probably covers 50% of posters on this site.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here – – thank you both. This makes sense and you are right, I think some kids can handle it but it’s very impactful to him. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And I think it’s been good socially. Hoping next semester might be slightly better and then we’ll regroup over the summer. And it’s not like he’s doing terrible by any mean. But again, we just don’t want to be in a situation come junior year where his GPA precludes him from schools he might otherwise be interested in

It sounds like a good time to start discussing what types of schools he is interested in and what it takes to get there for those schools. Working on it together should be your path.

Omg. No. Whatever you do, OP, do not do this!!

Most 9th graders do not have a clue what schools they’re interested in. Nor should they.

Their focus should be on having a great freshman year. Trying different things - some hard courses, juggling multiple sports etc, and seeing how it goes. What do they like and not like? What’s hard? Is it uncomfortable/stressful? If so, what might make that part better?

The goal is to engage our kids in thinking about (and taking an increasingly active role in) their learning and development. This sounds like what you’re doing, OP. Good instincts!

On the other hand, PP’s suggestion runs the risk of reducing all of high school (and four years of adolescent development) to a goal-directed exercise in getting into specific colleges. IMHO that sells our kids way short and misses the point entirely.

OP, you got the correct advice that being a three sport athlete is not going to help your kid when it comes to admissions. One sport is enough for that purpose. The other two don’t matter. But they MAY matter for your kid’s health and happiness, so good for you for considering that.

Definitely talk with him about all this. Not in terms of college admissions. In terms of whether he feels there are tradeoffs between the sports and the academics right now. And if so, help him brainstorm ideas and options. The more invested and engaged he is, the better.

Finally, it really is ok to take it year by year, and even sports season by sports season. We’ve seen kids drop a second or third “just for fun” no cut school sport sophomore or junior year and then pick it back up senior year. Same for taking a year off a club team and then rejoining later. (Obviously not for the elite recruited athlete type showcase clubs, but yes for the other tiers.)

Same advice goes for thinking about which APs he may take junior and senior year. Take it one year at a time. You’ll know a lot more a year from now about he can handle/balance junior year.

Enjoy the second half of freshman year with him. Sounds like he’s doing great and you are, too!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here – – thank you both. This makes sense and you are right, I think some kids can handle it but it’s very impactful to him. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And I think it’s been good socially. Hoping next semester might be slightly better and then we’ll regroup over the summer. And it’s not like he’s doing terrible by any mean. But again, we just don’t want to be in a situation come junior year where his GPA precludes him from schools he might otherwise be interested in

It sounds like a good time to start discussing what types of schools he is interested in and what it takes to get there for those schools. Working on it together should be your path.

Omg. No. Whatever you do, OP, do not do this!!

Most 9th graders do not have a clue what schools they’re interested in. Nor should they.

Their focus should be on having a great freshman year. Trying different things - some hard courses, juggling multiple sports etc, and seeing how it goes. What do they like and not like? What’s hard? Is it uncomfortable/stressful? If so, what might make that part better?

The goal is to engage our kids in thinking about (and taking an increasingly active role in) their learning and development. This sounds like what you’re doing, OP. Good instincts!

On the other hand, PP’s suggestion runs the risk of reducing all of high school (and four years of adolescent development) to a goal-directed exercise in getting into specific colleges. IMHO that sells our kids way short and misses the point entirely.

OP, you got the correct advice that being a three sport athlete is not going to help your kid when it comes to admissions. One sport is enough for that purpose. The other two don’t matter. But they MAY matter for your kid’s health and happiness, so good for you for considering that.

Definitely talk with him about all this. Not in terms of college admissions. In terms of whether he feels there are tradeoffs between the sports and the academics right now. And if so, help him brainstorm ideas and options. The more invested and engaged he is, the better.

Finally, it really is ok to take it year by year, and even sports season by sports season. We’ve seen kids drop a second or third “just for fun” no cut school sport sophomore or junior year and then pick it back up senior year. Same for taking a year off a club team and then rejoining later. (Obviously not for the elite recruited athlete type showcase clubs, but yes for the other tiers.)

Same advice goes for thinking about which APs he may take junior and senior year. Take it one year at a time. You’ll know a lot more a year from now about he can handle/balance junior year.

Enjoy the second half of freshman year with him. Sounds like he’s doing great and you are, too!

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a now senior who sounds similar, and will now be attending his top choice school, here are my reflections:

- We let him manage himself freshman year, it was the first fully post-covid normal socializing. He had a good social experience. Grades were ok (B+ avg). Wish we would have ticked up academic expectations just a bit. But it worked out fine, and he was happy.

-Having a strong gpa is so important. We set gentle expectations for A's and taking an increasing # of AP classes each year and that worked out well such that a weighted 4.0 gpa gave him more options.

- We messed up and didn't start SAT prep until late junior year. He got a 1400 and went test optional at school he is attending. Grades and SAT are the most important, start SAT prep summer before junior year, get assistance, etc. to get the 1500+ score if possible.

- We required volunteer and ec's that he picked for every year. Robotics, student newspaper, and volunteering for three summers, in addition to basketball. Requiring those ec's helped greatly with admissions.

- starting late junior year, we as parents had idea of best school for him (SLAC), he wanted bit larger, social (Lehigh), we visited all and expressed great interest in SLAC (visits, interviews, attending student panels, emailing admissions, going when they visited his school). The demonstrated interest seemed to help. We let him take lead on his top choices.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t overthink it. Some kids can have multiple commitments and still have great gpas. That doesn't seem to be your kid. Colleges don’t care much about students being three sport athletes but care a ton about gpa.

Anonymous wrote:Sports are completely meaningless in a college app …

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this chain.

There's all sorts of evidence that HS athletes do better academically in-season than out of season. Boys, in particular, play more video games and use more substances when they're not playing sports--and, predictably, their grades suffer, they don't improve. (But at least they get to enjoy worse mental and physical health, so there's that.)

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is backing off for a season only to teach him to learn to manage his workload and ADhD/executive functioning on his own. So many kids with similar challenges do better with very busy schedules because it eliminates procrastination. If you have practice until 7:30 every night and have to go to bed at 10, that forces you to keep a pretty rigid schedule for dinner, homework, etc. But if he’s just doing IM sports in college and has hours and hours of free time, he might fall apart without the structure he’s used to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here – – thank you both. This makes sense and you are right, I think some kids can handle it but it’s very impactful to him. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And I think it’s been good socially. Hoping next semester might be slightly better and then we’ll regroup over the summer. And it’s not like he’s doing terrible by any mean. But again, we just don’t want to be in a situation come junior year where his GPA precludes him from schools he might otherwise be interested in

It sounds like a good time to start discussing what types of schools he is interested in and what it takes to get there for those schools. Working on it together should be your path.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this chain.

There's all sorts of evidence that HS athletes do better academically in-season than out of season. Boys, in particular, play more video games and use more substances when they're not playing sports--and, predictably, their grades suffer, they don't improve. (But at least they get to enjoy worse mental and physical health, so there's that.)

+1

Don't sacrifice happiness and fulfillment in the teen years for a vague hope it results in better grades and a *maybe* a higher ranked college. If the kid wants to play three sports and keeps an A- gpa, I see zero problem.