I have been giving $500 from DH and myself regardless of how much the wedding may have cost.

Anonymous wrote:$200

I agree with $200 per person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married a couple years ago. Couples averaged $200-250. Very generous! We did have some who did not bring a gift at all which was so tacky.

I literally think asking for gifts is tacky. I didn't even have a registry for my wedding and told my friends not to worry about gifts. You don't have to participate in the wedding industrial complex, and if you do, you don't get to call people tacky for not clicking on your kitchen crap on a registry, especially when, like someone already said, you likely already have a fully outfitted kitchen.

Yes, I do get to call them tacky. And wtf is the ‘wedding industrial complex’?

Anonymous wrote:I havent been to a wedding in 10 years. What is the going $$ per person to gift?

If 2 of us attending, $250

If 4 of us attending, $500

If none of us attending, $250 and we'll wishes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on where it is being held and in which city. Major metro and its plated dinner $250 Minnnmm. Kansas City buffet? I think 150 is generous.

Agree

This seems kind of backwards though, since you’d think the people having the cheaper wedding could probably use the money more than the people that can afford to throw a more expensive wedding.

Anonymous wrote:Back when tons of friends were getting married (late 20s/early 30s), it was standard to do 100 for a single and 200 for a couple. Now that we are older (mid 40s) and have more funds, we give 300 as a couple if the wedding is for someone younger (such as a 28 year old cousin, or in one case, a 23 year old child of a friend). If it's a second wedding of someone in our peer group honestly we give a nice card and a wrapped gift of some kind, we don't give money the second time around, it feels tacky.

Why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married a couple years ago. Couples averaged $200-250. Very generous! We did have some who did not bring a gift at all which was so tacky.

I literally think asking for gifts is tacky. I didn't even have a registry for my wedding and told my friends not to worry about gifts. You don't have to participate in the wedding industrial complex, and if you do, you don't get to call people tacky for not clicking on your kitchen crap on a registry, especially when, like someone already said, you likely already have a fully outfitted kitchen.

mic drop

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general you should give enough to cover what they likely paid per person for the party

Eewww, this is so crass.

Don’t throw a party you can’t afford.

+1. That is not your job to figure out how much they likely paid/person.

This. This is bonkers. The wedding industrial complex and these so called rules are nuts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As much as you can afford and as close as you are to the couple. Anything from $100-$1000. However, standard minimum is to cover your plates.

I am so tired of hearing this core your plate nonsense. The vast majority of people who can to my wedding did not cover their plates. We threw a party to celebrate our marriage. We weren’t charging admission. Are you honestly saying to but different gifts depending on whether the reception is in a ballroom or a backyard?! That is nonsense. Buy a gift based on what you can comfortably spend and how close you are to the couple. Period.

This. I find the “cover your plate” business to be so gross. It was huge when I got married 10 years ago and is clearly still going strong.

Gifts are based on what the giver can afford - not what a bride (myself included) CHOSE to spend.

Back when tons of friends were getting married (late 20s/early 30s), it was standard to do 100 for a single and 200 for a couple. Now that we are older (mid 40s) and have more funds, we give 300 as a couple if the wedding is for someone younger (such as a 28 year old cousin, or in one case, a 23 year old child of a friend). If it's a second wedding of someone in our peer group honestly we give a nice card and a wrapped gift of some kind, we don't give money the second time around, it feels tacky.

Anonymous wrote:I got married a couple years ago. Couples averaged $200-250. Very generous! We did have some who did not bring a gift at all which was so tacky.

I literally think asking for gifts is tacky. I didn't even have a registry for my wedding and told my friends not to worry about gifts. You don't have to participate in the wedding industrial complex, and if you do, you don't get to call people tacky for not clicking on your kitchen crap on a registry, especially when, like someone already said, you likely already have a fully outfitted kitchen.

I got married a couple years ago. Couples averaged $200-250. Very generous! We did have some who did not bring a gift at all which was so tacky.

There is no “going rate” and you should give what you can afford or what to give.

We don’t go to many weddings these days either, but give $200-$500. Depending how close we are with the couple, if our kids are also invited & attend (we give more if so), travel expense etc.

These are for average middle class or UMC weddings btw (often for relatives or old friends in the Midwest & require us to travel). Not swanky black tie affairs or anything like that.

If we don’t attend, we usually send a card & $100-$200.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$50 gift from registry.

This is cheap. My culture doesn't do cash so I've always done registry but even in my 20s making less than 50k I did a $250 gift.

That wasn't a wise use of your money.

I'd actually argue it was. When people consider you to be generous they are generally generous in return. Would the friends who let us use their Swiss ski chalet for 10 days over Xmas without charge have done that if I had shown up at their wedding with a screwdriver and 50 dollar Target giftcard? Maybe, maybe not. But you can't lose by setting a generous precedent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$50 gift from registry.

This is cheap. My culture doesn't do cash so I've always done registry but even in my 20s making less than 50k I did a $250 gift.

That wasn't a wise use of your money.