Anonymous wrote:Was there some special reason you wanted to keep it private? A traumatic incident or you didn't want abusive relatives to find out? Or were you asking solely to test her?

Bump for response...

Anonymous wrote:“Details of the birth” to me would be how long you labored, that you had an epidural, etc. Not that you had a baby.

You cannot keep a baby a secret and it’s kind of weird to try.

+1,000

I don’t understand what she was supposed to do. Her friend probably asked her did your daughter have her baby? How is she? What is the mom supposed to say? The most normal thing is to say “yes, she had a beautiful baby last week. We’re so happy.” It seems to me way more revealing of private info to say “oh I’m not allowed to share that information.” The second answer invites waaaay more follow up and is way more likely hit any kind of gossip circuit.

But I’m not sure I get the whole thing about not wanting your mother to share th news. Like my niece recently had a baby and my sister told us on the family chain that she was going to the hospital and we all said very exciting, good luck, we’ll be praying for both of them! that just seems very normal to me to share basic information and one less thing for the parents to do.

This is dumb. You have a full plate, stop trying to control nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, op, I think you’re being unreasonable. But that’s okay! You just had a baby and emotions run high. But no, expect g your mom not to mention to a friend that the baby was born does not scream “reasonable.” Congrats on the baby!

I have no doubt that there is a lot of history there that is making you so upset about this. Try to separate that out.

My mother has done a lot to hurt me. I have realized I do set up tests for her and she inevitably fails and I get upset. But if I look at it rationally, some of these things would not bother me if someone else did them. We just have too much history and she continues to do some major things that I can’t get over so these more minor things get caught up in that. I am valid in being upset about the bigger things. But I have to figure out how to manage the relationship better because setting up these “tests” and getting upset about them doesn’t help me or her. Just a thought.

Please read this, OP. This poster has the self-awareness that you lack. You need to grow up and learn to manage the parent you have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I swear, reading replies on this site always makes me feel so disgusted. People are absolutely gross and repulsive when it comes to respecting others. I’m so thankful I’m not related or even friends with a single soul on this site. You have every right to feel upset about your mom obnoxiously over sharing. Like OF COURSE she knows she is sharing information that she is not entitled or allowed to share. I would put her on the most massive information diet and take the relationship very slowly. I have tons of family and friends and NONE of them share information about my family that would make me uncomfortable. People on this website are so freaking deranged.

So you truly find it wrong for a grandma to share with friends who obviously knew the daughter was pregnant that the baby has arrived? OP never once said her mother shared the intimate details of the birth. Simply that a family friend sent a gift.

You people are incredible. First there’s a thread about how rude it is to send a family with a new baby a meal. Now a grandma is on the verge of being cut off for telling a friend her grandchild has arrived.

“You people” implies there is unity among posters who think the OP is valid in chastising her mother for sharing that she has a new grandchild. Check your reading comprehension, PP. The overwhelming majority share your same opinion that OP is immature and conTROLLING.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I swear, reading replies on this site always makes me feel so disgusted. People are absolutely gross and repulsive when it comes to respecting others. I’m so thankful I’m not related or even friends with a single soul on this site. You have every right to feel upset about your mom obnoxiously over sharing. Like OF COURSE she knows she is sharing information that she is not entitled or allowed to share. I would put her on the most massive information diet and take the relationship very slowly. I have tons of family and friends and NONE of them share information about my family that would make me uncomfortable. People on this website are so freaking deranged.

So you truly find it wrong for a grandma to share with friends who obviously knew the daughter was pregnant that the baby has arrived? OP never once said her mother shared the intimate details of the birth. Simply that a family friend sent a gift.

You people are incredible. First there’s a thread about how rude it is to send a family with a new baby a meal. Now a grandma is on the verge of being cut off for telling a friend her grandchild has arrived.

OP, were you posting here before the birth of your first baby that you didn’t even want her to know about it? This post seems very familiar. Seems like there is some long history of trauma with the mother.

You wanted to have a secret baby?

I call troll. As others have said, which mom of a newborn and a toddler has time to post here.

Hope you don’t need Ms Grandma for anything.

This is NOT worth your time. Just let it go.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, op, I think you’re being unreasonable. But that’s okay! You just had a baby and emotions run high. But no, expect g your mom not to mention to a friend that the baby was born does not scream “reasonable.” Congrats on the baby!

I have no doubt that there is a lot of history there that is making you so upset about this. Try to separate that out.

My mother has done a lot to hurt me. I have realized I do set up tests for her and she inevitably fails and I get upset. But if I look at it rationally, some of these things would not bother me if someone else did them. We just have too much history and she continues to do some major things that I can’t get over so these more minor things get caught up in that. I am valid in being upset about the bigger things. But I have to figure out how to manage the relationship better because setting up these “tests” and getting upset about them doesn’t help me or her. Just a thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in labor I learned that my mother was posting updates on FB and tagging me, letting the whole world know minute by minute progress of my dilation, effacement and bp status. I was beyond mad. I told her to take it all down. She told me I was violating her freedom of speech. So now she doesn't get to know details about me or my kids.

Was your mother in the delivery room?

She was driving 5 hours to meet the new baby and was asking for updates to try to guess when the baby would arrive. I didn't expect her to post everything on FB.

Your beef is legitimate. It’s in a different league than just telling a friend about the birth.

Anonymous wrote:“Details of the birth” to me would be how long you labored, that you had an epidural, etc. Not that you had a baby.

You cannot keep a baby a secret and it’s kind of weird to try.

+1 She is a grandmother. She’s not allowed to share this new role in her life with her own friends? It doesn’t sound like the note said “congratulations on your natural birth” or other private details.