Anonymous wrote:People over 21 go all out for this “holiday?”

Not unless it’s women doing it for their kids.
Thats gotten out of control.

People over 21 go all out for this “holiday?”

Anonymous wrote:I think the PSA should be:

USE YOUR WORDS!

If you want something specific done or given on that day, make it crystal clear.

"Larlo, I want you to buy me X. It looks like this, and you can get it at Y store. Here's the link."

"Larlo, can we try restaurant Z? I'll make the reservation."

Stop waiting around expecting another human to read your mind.

OP here. I can read your spouse’s mind 99% of the time.

- hire a sitter
- make a plan to get a meal
- write a nice card
If you are planning to do it a different day, then communicate that.

Other than that:
Women: get your spouse something sexual
Men: give your wife something romantic

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consumerism at its worst! I forbid my DH from getting me anything 😁 we’ll have a nice dinner at home and bottle of wine together though.

Stop being a curmudgeon. If you are at a point in your relationship where dinner with your spouse and a glass of wine is a special event and not a “good way to end a Tuesday,” then you REALLY need to go out.

DP. I am at a point in my relationship where we don’t need a Hallmark holiday to remind us that we have it good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consumerism at its worst! I forbid my DH from getting me anything 😁 we’ll have a nice dinner at home and bottle of wine together though.

Stop being a curmudgeon. If you are at a point in your relationship where dinner with your spouse and a glass of wine is a special event and not a “good way to end a Tuesday,” then you REALLY need to go out.

+ 1

I have the feeling that they are forbidding him from getting anything because they aren’t going to get anything anyway, and it helps them save face to themselves.

Which is fine. I don't know why you guys are so hung up on doing something for Valentine's Day. It's just one made-up celebration. You can have a very low-key day to mark the occasion, or do nothing at all.

Separately, no one "needs" to get out. Maybe you need to get out, but other people don't. You two need to stop believing that everyone else should live the lives that you lead. Everyone is different, and that's OK.

I’m going to disagree. I think you are a bad parent if you show your kids that married people don’t do anything romantic on Valentine’s Day, and that parents don’t leave the house other than to go to kid’s various events.

If you make being an adult with a family look like a boring slog, your kids aren’t going to want to grow up.

NP. This is one of the dumbest takes I’ve seen on here, and that’s saying something.

If you were saying “parents who never show love or do anything romantic”, ok. But…you’re a bad parent if you don’t celebrate a made-up Hallmark holiday? You sound like a f-ing moron.

+1000

My husband and I model a healthy marriage EVERY DAY, not one day a year. In my opinion, that is far more important than buying a box of chocolates on a Hallmark holiday, but you do you.

Exactly this. I feel bad for the people who can only get out to dinner on Valentine's Day or whose husband only buys them flowers or chocolate on Valentine's Day. We go on dates pretty frequently, my husband will buy me flowers to celebrate a success at work, or pour me a glass of wine if I had a rough day, and I'll do the same for him. I think this models a healthy, loving relationship far better than "oh crap it's Valentine's Day, I guess I'll go buy that lame yellow box of chocolates".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We avoid restaurants on amateur nights.

You could still order some new lingerie.

I don't need a made up holiday to buy nice lingerie, go out to a nice dinner, buy a nice bottle of wine, etc...I get that for some people, this is a rare opportunity to play dress up and do something special, but we celebrate plenty of occasions, I have plenty of nice things that my husband appreciates. Seems very unnecessary for us as a couple. You do do, enjoy the celebration!

Wait.

Is OP the crazy poster who thinks couples are bad parents if they don't celebrate Valentine's Day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consumerism at its worst! I forbid my DH from getting me anything 😁 we’ll have a nice dinner at home and bottle of wine together though.

Stop being a curmudgeon. If you are at a point in your relationship where dinner with your spouse and a glass of wine is a special event and not a “good way to end a Tuesday,” then you REALLY need to go out.

+ 1

I have the feeling that they are forbidding him from getting anything because they aren’t going to get anything anyway, and it helps them save face to themselves.

Which is fine. I don't know why you guys are so hung up on doing something for Valentine's Day. It's just one made-up celebration. You can have a very low-key day to mark the occasion, or do nothing at all.

Separately, no one "needs" to get out. Maybe you need to get out, but other people don't. You two need to stop believing that everyone else should live the lives that you lead. Everyone is different, and that's OK.

I’m going to disagree. I think you are a bad parent if you show your kids that married people don’t do anything romantic on Valentine’s Day, and that parents don’t leave the house other than to go to kid’s various events.

If you make being an adult with a family look like a boring slog, your kids aren’t going to want to grow up.

NP. This is one of the dumbest takes I’ve seen on here, and that’s saying something.

If you were saying “parents who never show love or do anything romantic”, ok. But…you’re a bad parent if you don’t celebrate a made-up Hallmark holiday? You sound like a f-ing moron.

Every holiday is made-up. This one part of the culture we all live in.

And I honestly don’t believe that you are regularly romantic with your spouse, but you decided a month ahead of time that you won’t do anything for Valentine’s Day.

I don't think anyone is deciding anything ahead of time every year. Perhaps at the beginning of a relationship, a decision is made. But it's most likely that couples fall into a certain patterns, depending on their own preferences for that day. Valentine's Day has no relation to the rest of your behavior on all the other days. Surely you recognize that what matters is behavior on 364 days of the year, and the 365th isn't what makes or breaks a relationship.

I don't quite understand why you don't understand these simple truths. You seem to be suffering from some sort of mental illness.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I knew that people would find a way to argue with me, but I wasn’t sure what form it would take . I hope I reminded someone who appreciated it!

We're not criticizing you, OP, unless you're also the weirdo who thinks people are bad parents if they don't celebrate Valentine's Day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consumerism at its worst! I forbid my DH from getting me anything 😁 we’ll have a nice dinner at home and bottle of wine together though.

Stop being a curmudgeon. If you are at a point in your relationship where dinner with your spouse and a glass of wine is a special event and not a “good way to end a Tuesday,” then you REALLY need to go out.

+ 1

I have the feeling that they are forbidding him from getting anything because they aren’t going to get anything anyway, and it helps them save face to themselves.

Which is fine. I don't know why you guys are so hung up on doing something for Valentine's Day. It's just one made-up celebration. You can have a very low-key day to mark the occasion, or do nothing at all.

Separately, no one "needs" to get out. Maybe you need to get out, but other people don't. You two need to stop believing that everyone else should live the lives that you lead. Everyone is different, and that's OK.

I’m going to disagree. I think you are a bad parent if you show your kids that married people don’t do anything romantic on Valentine’s Day, and that parents don’t leave the house other than to go to kid’s various events.

If you make being an adult with a family look like a boring slog, your kids aren’t going to want to grow up.

??? Wow, you're dumb. You don't understand that your kids see your daily interactions with your spouse and those matter far more, due to the weight of cumulative observation, than one day in the year?

I mean, how can you be this stupid? Happy, functional families do not need Valentine's Day. Indeed, this holiday does not exist in many parts of the world.

If you want to celebrate, that's entirely fine. But don't put more importance on this one day in the year than on all the rest of the days. You need to behave like a loving, caring person then too. That's what's actually important.

- married 22 years with adult kids and teens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consumerism at its worst! I forbid my DH from getting me anything 😁 we’ll have a nice dinner at home and bottle of wine together though.

Stop being a curmudgeon. If you are at a point in your relationship where dinner with your spouse and a glass of wine is a special event and not a “good way to end a Tuesday,” then you REALLY need to go out.

+ 1

I have the feeling that they are forbidding him from getting anything because they aren’t going to get anything anyway, and it helps them save face to themselves.

Which is fine. I don't know why you guys are so hung up on doing something for Valentine's Day. It's just one made-up celebration. You can have a very low-key day to mark the occasion, or do nothing at all.

Separately, no one "needs" to get out. Maybe you need to get out, but other people don't. You two need to stop believing that everyone else should live the lives that you lead. Everyone is different, and that's OK.

I’m going to disagree. I think you are a bad parent if you show your kids that married people don’t do anything romantic on Valentine’s Day, and that parents don’t leave the house other than to go to kid’s various events.

If you make being an adult with a family look like a boring slog, your kids aren’t going to want to grow up.

NP. This is one of the dumbest takes I’ve seen on here, and that’s saying something.

If you were saying “parents who never show love or do anything romantic”, ok. But…you’re a bad parent if you don’t celebrate a made-up Hallmark holiday? You sound like a f-ing moron.

Every holiday is made-up. This one part of the culture we all live in.

And I honestly don’t believe that you are regularly romantic with your spouse, but you decided a month ahead of time that you won’t do anything for Valentine’s Day.

Not PP but we never do anything for Valentine's Day so we don't have to discuss it ahead of time. Instead, we do nice dinners/buy each other gifts/write each other loving notes whenever we feel like it, which is multiple times throughout the year.

I'd rather open my suitcase on a trip and find that my husband left me a sweet note in there or wake up to a pair of diamonds earrings on a tray with breakfast in bed because I had a rough week than make a forced date work once a year. Also, our kids have an event on Valentine's Day this year so that's what we're doing but neither of us are upset about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consumerism at its worst! I forbid my DH from getting me anything 😁 we’ll have a nice dinner at home and bottle of wine together though.

Stop being a curmudgeon. If you are at a point in your relationship where dinner with your spouse and a glass of wine is a special event and not a “good way to end a Tuesday,” then you REALLY need to go out.

+ 1

I have the feeling that they are forbidding him from getting anything because they aren’t going to get anything anyway, and it helps them save face to themselves.

Which is fine. I don't know why you guys are so hung up on doing something for Valentine's Day. It's just one made-up celebration. You can have a very low-key day to mark the occasion, or do nothing at all.

Separately, no one "needs" to get out. Maybe you need to get out, but other people don't. You two need to stop believing that everyone else should live the lives that you lead. Everyone is different, and that's OK.

I’m going to disagree. I think you are a bad parent if you show your kids that married people don’t do anything romantic on Valentine’s Day, and that parents don’t leave the house other than to go to kid’s various events.

If you make being an adult with a family look like a boring slog, your kids aren’t going to want to grow up.

NP. This is one of the dumbest takes I’ve seen on here, and that’s saying something.

If you were saying “parents who never show love or do anything romantic”, ok. But…you’re a bad parent if you don’t celebrate a made-up Hallmark holiday? You sound like a f-ing moron.

+1000

My husband and I model a healthy marriage EVERY DAY, not one day a year. In my opinion, that is far more important than buying a box of chocolates on a Hallmark holiday, but you do you.

OP here. I knew that people would find a way to argue with me, but I wasn’t sure what form it would take . I hope I reminded someone who appreciated it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consumerism at its worst! I forbid my DH from getting me anything 😁 we’ll have a nice dinner at home and bottle of wine together though.

Stop being a curmudgeon. If you are at a point in your relationship where dinner with your spouse and a glass of wine is a special event and not a “good way to end a Tuesday,” then you REALLY need to go out.

+ 1

I have the feeling that they are forbidding him from getting anything because they aren’t going to get anything anyway, and it helps them save face to themselves.

Which is fine. I don't know why you guys are so hung up on doing something for Valentine's Day. It's just one made-up celebration. You can have a very low-key day to mark the occasion, or do nothing at all.

Separately, no one "needs" to get out. Maybe you need to get out, but other people don't. You two need to stop believing that everyone else should live the lives that you lead. Everyone is different, and that's OK.

I’m going to disagree. I think you are a bad parent if you show your kids that married people don’t do anything romantic on Valentine’s Day, and that parents don’t leave the house other than to go to kid’s various events.

If you make being an adult with a family look like a boring slog, your kids aren’t going to want to grow up.

NP. This is one of the dumbest takes I’ve seen on here, and that’s saying something.

If you were saying “parents who never show love or do anything romantic”, ok. But…you’re a bad parent if you don’t celebrate a made-up Hallmark holiday? You sound like a f-ing moron.

Every holiday is made-up. This one part of the culture we all live in.

And I honestly don’t believe that you are regularly romantic with your spouse, but you decided a month ahead of time that you won’t do anything for Valentine’s Day.

This is how I know how dumb you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consumerism at its worst! I forbid my DH from getting me anything 😁 we’ll have a nice dinner at home and bottle of wine together though.

Stop being a curmudgeon. If you are at a point in your relationship where dinner with your spouse and a glass of wine is a special event and not a “good way to end a Tuesday,” then you REALLY need to go out.

+ 1

I have the feeling that they are forbidding him from getting anything because they aren’t going to get anything anyway, and it helps them save face to themselves.

Which is fine. I don't know why you guys are so hung up on doing something for Valentine's Day. It's just one made-up celebration. You can have a very low-key day to mark the occasion, or do nothing at all.

Separately, no one "needs" to get out. Maybe you need to get out, but other people don't. You two need to stop believing that everyone else should live the lives that you lead. Everyone is different, and that's OK.

I’m going to disagree. I think you are a bad parent if you show your kids that married people don’t do anything romantic on Valentine’s Day, and that parents don’t leave the house other than to go to kid’s various events.

If you make being an adult with a family look like a boring slog, your kids aren’t going to want to grow up.

NP. This is one of the dumbest takes I’ve seen on here, and that’s saying something.

If you were saying “parents who never show love or do anything romantic”, ok. But…you’re a bad parent if you don’t celebrate a made-up Hallmark holiday? You sound like a f-ing moron.

I agree with this. Showing love and affection also isn't just a holiday thing. I don't really want a box of chocolates or to go out on a very busy restaurant night but that doesn't mean my spouse and I don't go out and don't show affection to each other.

And spending valentine's day and doing special stuff with my kids also matters too.