Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM must have more low and no contact families than I’ve ever come into contact with in real life. It’s sad.

It’s actually peaceful. Be thankful you can’t relate.

My dad sexually molested me repeatedly for years. Is it sad I've broken contact?

No. But please don't use your issue, which is criminal and sad, to generalize an entire generation's proclivity toward estrangement. No contact in your situation is assumed. Hope he's in jail anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live half an hour away from my parents. I see them 4 times a year, away from the house, and take them out to dinner. Just me, and we leave my husbands and kids out of it.

Do you ever get over that feeling of “I wish things could be normal”. I just wish I had normal parents. I wish my husband could have normal ILs. I wish my kids could have normal grandparents. Especially around the holiday, you see so much “normal” and grieve that you’ll never have that, and never did.

No, but sometimes when I hear people complain about their families who seem "perfect" on the outside I feel slightly better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM must have more low and no contact families than I’ve ever come into contact with in real life. It’s sad.

It’s actually peaceful. Be thankful you can’t relate.

My dad sexually molested me repeatedly for years. Is it sad I've broken contact?

It’s horrifying you had parents who treated you that way, and also it’s sad their treatment led you to essentially being forced to become an orphan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. More NC threads. Use the search function people.

I did search but didn’t find anything related to my specific question.

Ignore that nutball who is always worked up when people talk about their abusive parents and why they choose NC, or low contact, this nutball thinks parents can do no wrong. Must be a crazy parent whose child cut him/her off and is now taking his anger on DCUM, very sad person. Just ignore it.

No adult children will choose NC or low contact with parents unless it is necessary to do so to protect their own well-being. Seems like your parents have not caused any issue since the low contact? Are you worried they might based on past experiences?

Thanks. I definitely didn’t get to this place easily, and it’s not exactly pleasurable to accept that your parents are so toxic that the only way of maintaining contact is at arms length.

I’m just trying to come to terms with the finality of this, and what it eventually looks like. I gusss what you’re saying is it will look exactly like this, and that’s not terrible! I hope they don’t escalate, but it’s too soon to tell.

I think you're looking for a permanent answer to what will likely be a changing situation. You can go no-contact and never waiver, even when one of the parents is dying/dies. That's what my husband did with his abusive dad. Once he decided he was done, he was done, and when his dad was dying he did not want to interact with him. You could choose a different path. I think because you went "low-contact" you're creating a situation that is always going to be in flux. That's fine, but you need to deal with it at the time and as it feels right, not try to come up with some answer that is going to address every holiday from here through 2075.

I'd just do a low contact texting relationship. No phone calls if they often go sideways. No need to immediately reply either. Maybe give yourself a 24h buffer after she reaches out. Give yourself time to sit with your feelings about whatever she says, and then grey rock when you answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM must have more low and no contact families than I’ve ever come into contact with in real life. It’s sad.

It’s actually peaceful. Be thankful you can’t relate.

My dad sexually molested me repeatedly for years. Is it sad I've broken contact?