Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 10:25     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
When you think "safeties" make sure they are Rolling Admission. And get the application in in August or so. Once you hear, it's a safety. Ideally have a choice or safeties. And then the student can concentrate on the other applications. I'm always amazed at families who are unwilling to build their list from the bottom-up.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 10:19     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
OP: Your kid will do just fine. DCUM is probably more toxic than it is not but there are words of wisdom shared here and some good advice at times.
Parent of three, one a college graduate from a school popular with kids but often looked down on by the DCUM mob. That kid is thriving in life and their career. Another is still in college, and a third is college-bound, but with a destination unknown, but definitely not T-20. They will all be fine and so will most of our kids.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 10:17     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I just have a perfectly nice regular kid. Not a stellar athlete nor a drama maven nor a superstar all APs academic - just a regular old good kid.
I am feeling just - tense - with so much college noise. Hooked/unhooked, legacy, etc etc - just - it's all so much. I do not remember it being this way when I was growing up. I'd been coming to this board and just seeing the posts make me feel geared up. Is anyone else feeling like me? I wouldn't call my kid "awesomely average" (I know that's a Facebook group) but just not like - "special" in the way it feels like you need to be now either? Like he's just a well-rounded kid who does some clubs, plays a sport at a decent but not standout level, and is nice with plenty of friends? Where are these parents, where are my people?


Your child is going to do very well in college admissions. You should only be stressed if you want your child to only go to T20.

DS is pretty much like you describe your kid and had plenty of good options last year. Got off a waitlist at the last minute at a T20 but declined to go there.


Your kid isn’t like OP’s kid if they got into a top 20. Come on.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 10:15     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
This is my 3rd kid in the last few years. With the surprise rejections from safeties, many deferrals and never ending waitlists, I was so stressed out with my previous 2. I went on anxiety meds in August and this round has been so much better. I know it sounds crazy, but I literally couldn’t sleep many nights. Probably generalized anxiety that revved up during admissions.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 10:13     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
My 2.3UW/1120 public school kid was accepted to 4 "real" universities. Just need to know where to apply based on your student's stats, interests and finances.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 10:12     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
OP, i’m one of your people. My daughter sounds just like this.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 10:11     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:High school students who are college-bound will go to college. Even students without Honors or AP classes can get accepted, somewhere.


This. IMO the stress is from families 100% locked into prestige OR ones using 1990 admissions as a yardstick of where that profile of student would have gotten in and the cost i.e. back in the day the student would have gotten into a top state university for $4000 in-state tuition and a top private was $14,000 tuition. Fast forward today and the top flagship isn’t guaranteed and cost difference between in-state and OOS could be 20-30K easy and difference with private could be even more. If the student truly has safeties that they would be happy to attend and the family can afford - there really shouldn’t be any stress.

This sounds so pretty, but unless your kid applies exclusively to safeties they’re risking rejection. And that’s inherently stressful for a lot of kids. Even if they’re already in at affordable safeties they’d be happy to attend.


No, it's inherently stressful to a lot of mommies. The kids would be fine if you would let up on them.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 10:10     Subject: Re:Just so stressed in this climate
This sounds so pretty, but unless your kid applies exclusively to safeties they’re risking rejection. And that’s inherently stressful for a lot of kids. Even if they’re already in at affordable safeties they’d be happy to attend.


np here. I don't see this as a problem. I actually think it's not a bad thing to be rejected, by some. PP, are you sure you want this for your kid -- to shield them in this way? Why would you think this is healthy?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 09:40     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
Anonymous wrote:I just have a perfectly nice regular kid. Not a stellar athlete nor a drama maven nor a superstar all APs academic - just a regular old good kid.
I am feeling just - tense - with so much college noise. Hooked/unhooked, legacy, etc etc - just - it's all so much. I do not remember it being this way when I was growing up. I'd been coming to this board and just seeing the posts make me feel geared up. Is anyone else feeling like me? I wouldn't call my kid "awesomely average" (I know that's a Facebook group) but just not like - "special" in the way it feels like you need to be now either? Like he's just a well-rounded kid who does some clubs, plays a sport at a decent but not standout level, and is nice with plenty of friends? Where are these parents, where are my people?


Your child is going to do very well in college admissions. You should only be stressed if you want your child to only go to T20.

DS is pretty much like you describe your kid and had plenty of good options last year. Got off a waitlist at the last minute at a T20 but declined to go there.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 09:40     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
Anonymous wrote:I just have a perfectly nice regular kid. Not a stellar athlete nor a drama maven nor a superstar all APs academic - just a regular old good kid.
I am feeling just - tense - with so much college noise. Hooked/unhooked, legacy, etc etc - just - it's all so much. I do not remember it being this way when I was growing up. I'd been coming to this board and just seeing the posts make me feel geared up. Is anyone else feeling like me? I wouldn't call my kid "awesomely average" (I know that's a Facebook group) but just not like - "special" in the way it feels like you need to be now either? Like he's just a well-rounded kid who does some clubs, plays a sport at a decent but not standout level, and is nice with plenty of friends? Where are these parents, where are my people?


So, stop coming to this board. You are doing this to yourself, OP.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 09:28     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
Anonymous wrote:My kids are like that too and I find that makes the process less stressful because we weren't playing in the super-selective field. Once you are open to a wider range of schools, there are so many options. It's more about finding places that could be a good fit. Most colleges accept most students. My kids were both admitted to all but one of the schools they applied to (their in-state reaches, UVA for one, W&M for the other). Both doing well and making the most of the opportunities where they ended up. 1st kid just graduated and has a great job.

Try to shift to a curiosity and exploration mindset, focusing on finding a school that offers what your kid wants and fits your budget.


Yup.

Outside of the top 50 or so, it's a buyer's market.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 09:11     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:High school students who are college-bound will go to college. Even students without Honors or AP classes can get accepted, somewhere.


This. IMO the stress is from families 100% locked into prestige OR ones using 1990 admissions as a yardstick of where that profile of student would have gotten in and the cost i.e. back in the day the student would have gotten into a top state university for $4000 in-state tuition and a top private was $14,000 tuition. Fast forward today and the top flagship isn’t guaranteed and cost difference between in-state and OOS could be 20-30K easy and difference with private could be even more. If the student truly has safeties that they would be happy to attend and the family can afford - there really shouldn’t be any stress.

This sounds so pretty, but unless your kid applies exclusively to safeties they’re risking rejection. And that’s inherently stressful for a lot of kids. Even if they’re already in at affordable safeties they’d be happy to attend.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 08:08     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
Anonymous wrote:High school students who are college-bound will go to college. Even students without Honors or AP classes can get accepted, somewhere.


This. IMO the stress is from families 100% locked into prestige OR ones using 1990 admissions as a yardstick of where that profile of student would have gotten in and the cost i.e. back in the day the student would have gotten into a top state university for $4000 in-state tuition and a top private was $14,000 tuition. Fast forward today and the top flagship isn’t guaranteed and cost difference between in-state and OOS could be 20-30K easy and difference with private could be even more. If the student truly has safeties that they would be happy to attend and the family can afford - there really shouldn’t be any stress.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 07:43     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
This forum is a microcosm of weirdness where people are obsessed with prestige and obsessed with others buying into that obsession with prestige.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 07:34     Subject: Just so stressed in this climate
My kids are like that too and I find that makes the process less stressful because we weren't playing in the super-selective field. Once you are open to a wider range of schools, there are so many options. It's more about finding places that could be a good fit. Most colleges accept most students. My kids were both admitted to all but one of the schools they applied to (their in-state reaches, UVA for one, W&M for the other). Both doing well and making the most of the opportunities where they ended up. 1st kid just graduated and has a great job.

Try to shift to a curiosity and exploration mindset, focusing on finding a school that offers what your kid wants and fits your budget.