A 13 year old can find time in her busy day to spend 15 minutes (or less!) on daily routines. They are not chores, they are normal things people do.
Make own bed, even haphazardly
Put towels on rack to dry or put in laundry hamper and get yourself clean ones
Put dishes and glasses from what you snack one or eat alone in designated place eg fishwasher
Pick up after yourself in your room

Well, I’m not particularly intense about how I do chores so I’m not super intense with my kid either. I also have a child with profound disabilities that is incapable of living without 24/7 care so being uptight about laundry or the dishwasher just isn’t my style. My husband does all our laundry and mixes colors and whites and that has basically never been an actual problem in 20 years. I do think some socks turned pink once and we just bought new socks.

The truth is that my 13 year old is honestly too busy most days of the week to do many chores. But she knows how to do stuff and can always watch a video as an adult if she needs to. I’m not worried she will be living in squalor as a 35 year old. School is hard for her so she spends a lot of time on homework and does a lot of EC stuff she loves. I’m not pulling her away from either of those to lecture her on which way to put the forks in the dishwasher. Although using a coaster is a hill to die on for me, so she and my hsuband both hear about that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 14 I'd expect it to be done correctly and have them go back.
At 4 I'd be happy for the effort and improvement with time.

THANK YOU! I don't know what's up with the infantilization of teenagers. It's not rocket science to empty a dishwasher or fold towels - they should be capable of this.

I'm not sure what it is but dcum parents are adverse to saying anything to their children in unless it's about grades or college then panic when that child becomes an adult and has little to know social behavior.