My main problem with Secret Santa say $25 limit is that do you have to spend $25 or buy an item on sale with MRSP of $25 for like $5? Maybe best to stick with handmade gifts, then it's more even. My kids did Secret Santa in scouting and most "presents" were just junk, yes, even used.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For 13 year olds it should be $5 or less. I can't imagine a 13 needing to spend $25 on a friend from school. And Secret Santa gift exchanges don't usually make requests of what they want.

Op. These kids had a shared document that she showed me. Every kid put a whole paragraph of items they wanted and what they definitely do not want.

That’s where the “spirit” of the game went wrong, OP.
It completely sucks the fun out of gifting when everyone is just buying stuff off a gimme list generated by the recipient. They may as well just each put $25 in a pot and then each person who antes up can then take $25 out and go buy their own gift.

Teens are picky. I'd rather they give and get what they want, than something that gets regifted or given away.

DD's close knit group of friends did SS this year. She drew someone she knew really well, and gave things she knew the other person would want/appreciate. The kid who drew her was among the last to join the group, and not really close to her, and gave her a practical/useful gift that was clearly a last minute thing, because the gift didn't come until the week after SS (which was already 10 days after Christmas). She was a little bummed in that everyone else in the group received more thoughtful gifts, but appreciated that at least it was something she would use.

Anonymous wrote:My DD did a while elephant party with a spending max of $20. She understood that gifts could be varied. We decided to do $20 for the gift we bought but my DD had no problem with getting other gifts from others that were cheaper. My daughter had fun and loved what she got even though the value was less than what we paid. I didn’t make her spend her own money to buy the gift though. I went ahead and got it for her.

My kids youth group did a white elephant exchange with $15 limit but then made a big point of saying no gag gifts and all items should be new and should be something that you would be excited to receive! It struck me that the person sending out the “guidelines” must have no clue what makes it a “white elephant” gift vs just a gift exchange with a $15 limit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For 13 year olds it should be $5 or less. I can't imagine a 13 needing to spend $25 on a friend from school. And Secret Santa gift exchanges don't usually make requests of what they want.

Op. These kids had a shared document that she showed me. Every kid put a whole paragraph of items they wanted and what they definitely do not want.

That’s where the “spirit” of the game went wrong, OP.
It completely sucks the fun out of gifting when everyone is just buying stuff off a gimme list generated by the recipient. They may as well just each put $25 in a pot and then each person who antes up can then take $25 out and go buy their own gift.

My DD did a while elephant party with a spending max of $20. She understood that gifts could be varied. We decided to do $20 for the gift we bought but my DD had no problem with getting other gifts from others that were cheaper. My daughter had fun and loved what she got even though the value was less than what we paid. I didn’t make her spend her own money to buy the gift though. I went ahead and got it for her.

Anonymous wrote:How is it Secret Santa when you tell the person what you want? And you’re not supposed to know who got your name.

OP. From what she told me - The gift giver was a secret and they picked from a lot. Then they all wrote down in a shared document what they would really like, what their interests were and also what they do not want. The Secret Santa was supposed to look at this document for ideas and get something from that list besides the handmade item and it was initially supposed to be $25 and got changed to up to $25

So it looks like they did not know who was getting them the gift.

How is it Secret Santa when you tell the person what you want? And you’re not supposed to know who got your name.

Was this something her friends cooked up? If so, that was a crappy thing for a friend to do. But if it was a class thing or a club thing then eh, whatever. Lots of people re-gift things for White Elephant or Secret Santa. That's life.