We are both pretty thrifty but my husband never looks at our main credit card. He trusts me and he should! He has a credit card and checking account for his guy stuff that I never see but I don’t worry about it. We’ve been married a long time and we have never let $ be an issue. Couples really need to be on the same page in terms of finance goals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So what was the $150k spent on... A vacation and $25k on what for your child?

Where is the rest?

Sorry, your husband is a money liar. This will not work long term.

17k private school due to SN child
8k 1-week surprise lux vacation wt Child as a treat to us as we never had honeymoon and it was rough with Sn issues etc. he said - I would never approve it. This is why he went ahead and booked it before inheritance money ran out.
Rest: new car with full blown add ons whatever, payoff 50k debt, household expenses.

So who pays this expense now?

Most bills are on him. I don’t ask money and pay for groceries, vacations (pretty much all but that lux one), house improvement projects (big things - like window replacement, my loan payment over time); bathroom remodeling; gifts, eating out, extracurricular activity payment, fun outings like movies, paid of my own car (my first car of 17years broke down completely)… I’m probably forgetting some things. Vet

But that's the DEBT because he is spending income on women, drugs or gambling

>>> I don’t know how much on his credit cards now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of household expenses? Whose household.
It's drugs, gambling or women/porn.

Exactly. He's a lying liar face. You need to figure out if he's funding some OF womans college, or blowing cash on gambling apps. This money is clearly not being spent on the "household".

>>> I just don’t know, it’s just murky wt full access to expenditures. In the past, the problem was spending beyond his means - like expensive furniture, frequent expensive dining, $1000 shoes (for him) etc — he used to like to spend like that… but now retired and I though cautious after first debt resolution.

...
He's retired and is spending thousands on credit cards?? Are you serious?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of household expenses? Whose household.
It's drugs, gambling or women/porn.

Exactly. He's a lying liar face. You need to figure out if he's funding some OF womans college, or blowing cash on gambling apps. This money is clearly not being spent on the "household".

>>> I just don’t know, it’s just murky wt full access to expenditures. In the past, the problem was spending beyond his means - like expensive furniture, frequent expensive dining, $1000 shoes (for him) etc — he used to like to spend like that… but now retired and I though cautious after first debt resolution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So what was the $150k spent on... A vacation and $25k on what for your child?

Where is the rest?

Sorry, your husband is a money liar. This will not work long term.

17k private school due to SN child
8k 1-week surprise lux vacation wt Child as a treat to us as we never had honeymoon and it was rough with Sn issues etc. he said - I would never approve it. This is why he went ahead and booked it before inheritance money ran out.
Rest: new car with full blown add ons whatever, payoff 50k debt, household expenses.

So who pays this expense now?

Most bills are on him. I don’t ask money and pay for groceries, vacations (pretty much all but that lux one), house improvement projects (big things - like window replacement, my loan payment over time); bathroom remodeling; gifts, eating out, extracurricular activity payment, fun outings like movies, paid of my own car (my first car of 17years broke down completely)… I’m probably forgetting some things. Vet

This absolutely no way to live and unbelievable.. Anyways, So now what?

Now he wants me to take over more bills-expenses. And not look at his credit cards.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So what was the $150k spent on... A vacation and $25k on what for your child?

Where is the rest?

Sorry, your husband is a money liar. This will not work long term.

17k private school due to SN child
8k 1-week surprise lux vacation wt Child as a treat to us as we never had honeymoon and it was rough with Sn issues etc. he said - I would never approve it. This is why he went ahead and booked it before inheritance money ran out.
Rest: new car with full blown add ons whatever, payoff 50k debt, household expenses.

So who pays this expense now?

This dropped out as we transferred to public school in the new year. With more accommodations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So what was the $150k spent on... A vacation and $25k on what for your child?

Where is the rest?

Sorry, your husband is a money liar. This will not work long term.

17k private school due to SN child
8k 1-week surprise lux vacation wt Child as a treat to us as we never had honeymoon and it was rough with Sn issues etc. he said - I would never approve it. This is why he went ahead and booked it before inheritance money ran out.
Rest: new car with full blown add ons whatever, payoff 50k debt, household expenses.

So who pays this expense now?

Most bills are on him. I don’t ask money and pay for groceries, vacations (pretty much all but that lux one), house improvement projects (big things - like window replacement, my loan payment over time); bathroom remodeling; gifts, eating out, extracurricular activity payment, fun outings like movies, paid of my own car (my first car of 17years broke down completely)… I’m probably forgetting some things. Vet

This absolutely no way to live and unbelievable.. Anyways, So now what?

Anonymous wrote:>>> I don’t want to stay any more. It’s too painful. I’m unable to ever get finances straightened out as he starts a trekking match that I’m the ultimate cause of high household expenditures.

Yes, we jointly agreed on private school and use of inheritance, as it was a sudden expense at the time of inheritance and I did not have savings. After that, he just went quiet.

But if you guys decided together to take on a pretty significant expense with no way of paying for it, I'm really confused how you are surprised that he keeps accumulating credit card debt. It seems like you're both kind of reckless with spending, and he's functioned as the backstop because you haven't made much money or contributed to the household account evenly until recently. So he covers the expenses even though you guys cannot afford at least some of what you're buying, pays the minimum on the cards, and gets mad when you ask why there's no pile of money sitting around.

This is a communication issue, not a money one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So what was the $150k spent on... A vacation and $25k on what for your child?

Where is the rest?

Sorry, your husband is a money liar. This will not work long term.

17k private school due to SN child
8k 1-week surprise lux vacation wt Child as a treat to us as we never had honeymoon and it was rough with Sn issues etc. he said - I would never approve it. This is why he went ahead and booked it before inheritance money ran out.
Rest: new car with full blown add ons whatever, payoff 50k debt, household expenses.

So who pays this expense now?

Most bills are on him. I don’t ask money and pay for groceries, vacations (pretty much all but that lux one), house improvement projects (big things - like window replacement, my loan payment over time); bathroom remodeling; gifts, eating out, extracurricular activity payment, fun outings like movies, paid of my own car (my first car of 17years broke down completely)… I’m probably forgetting some things. Vet

*yelling march

>>> I don’t want to stay any more. It’s too painful. I’m unable to ever get finances straightened out as he starts a trekking match that I’m the ultimate cause of high household expenditures.

Yes, we jointly agreed on private school and use of inheritance, as it was a sudden expense at the time of inheritance and I did not have savings. After that, he just went quiet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So what was the $150k spent on... A vacation and $25k on what for your child?

Where is the rest?

Sorry, your husband is a money liar. This will not work long term.

17k private school due to SN child
8k 1-week surprise lux vacation wt Child as a treat to us as we never had honeymoon and it was rough with Sn issues etc. he said - I would never approve it. This is why he went ahead and booked it before inheritance money ran out.
Rest: new car with full blown add ons whatever, payoff 50k debt, household expenses.

So who pays this expense now?

Anonymous wrote:What kind of household expenses? Whose household.
It's drugs, gambling or women/porn.

Exactly. He's a lying liar face. You need to figure out if he's funding some OF womans college, or blowing cash on gambling apps. This money is clearly not being spent on the "household".

What kind of household expenses? Whose household.
It's drugs, gambling or women/porn.