Anonymous wrote:It's been a tough 48 hours in our house as DD deals with ED disappointment. It is made worse that her classmate who is known to cheat got in. Trying to explain that cheaters sometimes do win really stings.

Sour grapes.

Anonymous wrote:At DC’s private school, all of the girls who applied to W&M have been deferred, and all the boys who applied got in. They are annoyed.

OP, just because there *seems* to be a general trend that it’s a good year for ED doesn’t make it true, and certainly doesn’t make it true in the granular level of a specific school or specific kid. It’s always rough when your kid is deferred and it feels like a lot of their friends were accepted, but there are so many variables involved, from student-specific ones to school-specific ones, that you really have to try to view it as not personal, even though of course it feels intensely personal.

Help your child by allowing them some time and space to feel disappointed and then help them refocus on ED2 or RD apps and moving forward.

How on earth do you not only know this but that they’re all “annoyed?”

You really need to step back.

Anonymous wrote:The cheating thing is real and it hurts. I am sorry this is hurting the honest kids. I agree, no one forgets. It’s a habit that students find hard to break, the more they do it, the worse it gets and then they act surprised when it finally catches up to them.

Also why it is never a surpsise to learn any given person behind a major scandal attended a prestigious university.

I have a child in this cycle - third one - but so far not nearly as bad as the my child who applied in the 2022-23 cycle. So much deferral still from COVID, height of the population bump, and lots of grade inflation. Not a single one of her friends got in off the waitlist anywhere. She did not get into any of her reaches but is so happy at the target school she did get into. And the last two years have had so much more waitlist movement and better results for our school. EDs at this point are highly competitive and there are some many factors at play. Applying to college is a little like gambling - you never know what is going to work! Hang in there - they will end up where they were meant to end up. I truly do believe that. And learning that lesson helps build resilience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year- my kid rejected ED. Deferred ED2. Deferred at 2 of his top EA schools. Got into great schools in RD and ended up with 2 amazing final options- is thriving at one of those (ED2 deferral school). It’s a slog but stick with it!

My 2025 kid (my second of 3) never got the "amazing final options" last year and I know a number of other kids like this. It was a slog to the end, a couple of less-than-ideal choices and they're now probably going to transfer.

SO it can also NOT work out despite having all the top grades, rigor, scores, extracurriculars, etc.
Just keep this in mind. Not to be a downer but be prepared for anything. It's such a random process.

Happened to one of mine

Take a day or two to feel sad, and then think about adding one or two more targets to the RD list.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's been a tough 48 hours in our house as DD deals with ED disappointment. It is made worse that her classmate who is known to cheat got in. Trying to explain that cheaters sometimes do win really stings.

This happened to my daughter last year. Deferred by Swarthmore and a known cheater (athlete) was admitted. It’s a tough life lesson.

The cheating thing sucks. I keep telling my kids that no one forgets who the cheaters are and they’ll still remember 20 years from now when they’re deciding who to retain as a lawyer, invest money with, recommend for a job.

Oh yes - as a teacher watching Michigan only letting in legacies from our school and one of the worst cheaters/entitled kids I have ever know.

If it's of interest, I know DCUM hates St Andrews, but I think it's a terrific option and they got back to my kids two weeks after his application. High test scores may have made that go more quickly IDK. But that was nice to have!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's been a tough 48 hours in our house as DD deals with ED disappointment. It is made worse that her classmate who is known to cheat got in. Trying to explain that cheaters sometimes do win really stings.

No dog in this fight but a documented cheater at our school was admitted ED while others with higher stats were shut out.

This sounds like sour grapes. If there is nothing in the transcript to reflect “documented cheating,” fault lies with your high school.

Oofff, sorry, it’s so hard and we know a few kids really feeling it this week when it seems like so many classmates got in ED. My older one didn’t get into their ED1 in 2024 cycle and is so relieved because it turns out their ED2 school is a better fit. Such a great school that sibling is following them there in the fall. And the waiting from mid Dec to early Feb was not too bad. Just here to say maybe consider an ED2 if there’s a good option.

Anonymous wrote:I had twins last year. One got in ED, the second was waitlisted ED to the same school (despite having the same stats if not a bit better) and then went on a long trail of many RD waitlists and rejections and some acceptances. It was incredibly hard. Ended up at a decent school but not a particularly great fit and is thinking of transferring.

Sometimes this all works out easily, sometimes it doesn't--despite doing everything right, having all the correct stats, etc. It is truly a lottery.
There is no way to guarantee a preferred outcome or make sure it happens the way you want it too. You just have to support your kid through the process, keep the emotion low and help them see the best in the choices they're given.

Do you think the child who didn't get I to the ED school just couldn't get past it? Is there something you would advise doing differently? Wondering if they chose a school in the end that was wildly different than the ED preferred school? I hope he/she finds a place they love. TYIA

It is a random process, there is no way to know the "institutional priorities" and there are literally tens of thousands of applicants who are all equally qualified. Just reassure your kid that it isn't personal and there isn't more they could have done. They will have options, they may love those, waitlist, though it extends the process even longer, can work out too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year- my kid rejected ED. Deferred ED2. Deferred at 2 of his top EA schools. Got into great schools in RD and ended up with 2 amazing final options- is thriving at one of those (ED2 deferral school). It’s a slog but stick with it!

My 2025 kid (my second of 3) never got the "amazing final options" last year and I know a number of other kids like this. It was a slog to the end, a couple of less-than-ideal choices and they're now probably going to transfer.

SO it can also NOT work out despite having all the top grades, rigor, scores, extracurriculars, etc.
Just keep this in mind. Not to be a downer but be prepared for anything. It's such a random process.

I appreciate the realism. It helps me (and others) make wise choices now while they’re still available. Sunny reassurances aren’t necessary .

Anonymous wrote:Choose a school your child will be happy at, not the ratings.

THIS!!

Anonymous wrote:Last year- my kid rejected ED. Deferred ED2. Deferred at 2 of his top EA schools. Got into great schools in RD and ended up with 2 amazing final options- is thriving at one of those (ED2 deferral school). It’s a slog but stick with it!

My 2025 kid (my second of 3) never got the "amazing final options" last year and I know a number of other kids like this. It was a slog to the end, a couple of less-than-ideal choices and they're now probably going to transfer.

SO it can also NOT work out despite having all the top grades, rigor, scores, extracurriculars, etc.
Just keep this in mind. Not to be a downer but be prepared for anything. It's such a random process.