Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My BF and I split over 6 months ago, he moved out. For context, he's a massive procrastinator and overall super lazy.

He left some stuff at my place - art, clothes, books, etc. Can I go ahead and throw it all out? I feel like 6 months is plenty of time to pick it up without needing to be reminded.

This is one of those "How you handle this is about you, not him" situations. It's been 6 months. If you're still inclined to be spiteful and petty, that's about you, not him.

Send him a casual text saying something like "I was cleaning my place and I found these things. If you want them, please let me know when you can come by this week and I'll set them out for you. If you don't want them, no text needed. I'll donate them next Saturday."

Be a decent person.

And 5 days after the “Next Saturday” deadline, he’ll text her: “I was sick/on vacation. Can I come get it next weekend?”

If he hasn't asked for it by now, he doesn’t want it.

Once it's gone, block his number. Save a screenshot of the texts and delete his number from your phone.

If you know what time he is coming, can you just leave his things by your front door?

Him going through your kitchen means if he decides something is his, then you have to argue and haggle with him. No. Also, you’re not intimate anymore. He isn’t entitled to go through your belongings. If any kitchen item was so important to him, he wouldn’t be waited so long to get his things, and even now that’s only because you gave him an ultimatum. Why does he think you should hang onto his old crap in perpetuity? He’s lucky you didn’t throw all of his things out instead of just tossing out his old, gross glasses. Moreover, glasses are cheap. I have a feeling he is, too!

No good deed goes unpunished.

Definitely say no to him going through your kitchen. That’s invasive and weird.

Anonymous wrote:Zero contact. Have everything ready outside your door for pick up. He left it this long, but is now ticked you are pushing for pick up.

+1000000

Yes. Trash it.

Leave on porch
Head out for the day
He will be fine without that random bottle opener

Good luck

Anonymous wrote:I would consider it abandoned property but I guess it would depend on the law in your state.

But yeah, theoretically six mos. is more than enough time.

Do you think he is keeping his stuff at your place because he isn’t ready to fully let go??

No, I think he’s just lazy and forgetful and generally does the bare minimum.

Anonymous wrote:OP. I let him know he can pick it up and he’s coming to get it this week.

However, he’s upset because I did throw away some glasses and kitchen stuff he had left - my kitchen is super small, they were taking up a bunch of space, and were all pretty old and gross. So I tossed them about a month ago when I was decluttering.

He also wants to go through my kitchen to see what’s his that he left? I think I will say no to that. That feels super invasive and weird.

You did right thing (even though he responded with some unreasonable gripes/demands.)

I would tell him his kitchen rummage plan is a no but if he thinks of anything else in the meantime you can put it with his stuff.

I would consider it abandoned property but I guess it would depend on the law in your state.

But yeah, theoretically six mos. is more than enough time.

Do you think he is keeping his stuff at your place because he isn’t ready to fully let go??

Zero contact. Have everything ready outside your door for pick up. He left it this long, but is now ticked you are pushing for pick up.

If he hasn’t come by Friday I’d send one last reminder that Saturday it’s gone. End of story.
Don’t let him in to look through the kitchen. I agree That’s invasive.

OP. I let him know he can pick it up and he’s coming to get it this week.

However, he’s upset because I did throw away some glasses and kitchen stuff he had left - my kitchen is super small, they were taking up a bunch of space, and were all pretty old and gross. So I tossed them about a month ago when I was decluttering.

He also wants to go through my kitchen to see what’s his that he left? I think I will say no to that. That feels super invasive and weird.

Donate don’t trash. But otherwise fine.

5 months ago
I would just mail that stuff back and move on

Says more about you….
Stay classy