Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll encourage my son to give the band teacher a heads up and explain the situation and his choice. For context my son does band because it is required for AYPO not because he wants to. He is super serious about his instrument (practices 2 hours a day etc).

Also my son would happily miss any other class. This one is just unique. It’s an AP class and students regularly Cs and Ds in the class and 5s on the exam - the teacher has very high standards and it’s hard to recover from missing class.

Anonymous wrote:Agree there may be consequences to his band grade, which is ridiculous.

I would email and include his guidance counselor, both teachers and maybe even an administrator to lay out the situation and ask them what they think the solution is.

I HATE HATE HATE these situations where the staff of the school tells you one thing (in tough, non-negotiable terms) and they talk a big talk about how you should prioritize THEM over your other responsibilities. No empathy that the other teacher is saying the same thing.

Get it out there. Make them say it to each others' faces.

Anonymous wrote:At our school it’s common to miss class for various school-sponsored things, from a few hours to many days for school related trips. Teachers are expected to be accommodating. I can’t think of any occasion where a student refused to participate in the event they elected to join.

Sounds like performing arts are not for him.

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Anonymous wrote:It is hard to do band and not expect to miss classes sometimes, between during the school day performances and band trips. So if your kid feels he absolutely cannot miss other classes, band may not be for him.

In our experience, DS worked with his other teachers beforehand to come up with a plan for when he would miss a class. Same for his sport which occasionally takes him out of school.

He is a senior now heading to T20 next fall.

+1 This is really a one-time situation (or maybe one or two times a year). It's the perfect storm. Hard class, block scheduling, in-school holiday concert. One or both teachers should be in touch and in touch with each other.

We have one language teacher who is furious at band pullouts and marks the student absent. That's for the band teacher to sort. The student is fine and keeping up with the language.

Your DS made a mature decision and next time, for a different class, he will probably be fine with a pull-out.
Also, band can excuse these rather than a zero. They need to be told in advance. Our band teacher will excuse evening concerts which count as your whole grade because life, you know? Sometimes a student has real life, serious conflicts. You just have to tell him in advance.

Anonymous wrote:It is hard to do band and not expect to miss classes sometimes, between during the school day performances and band trips. So if your kid feels he absolutely cannot miss other classes, band may not be for him.

In our experience, DS worked with his other teachers beforehand to come up with a plan for when he would miss a class. Same for his sport which occasionally takes him out of school.

He is a senior now heading to T20 next fall.

Anonymous wrote:The band director at our high school is very pushy and aggressive about any conflicts at all. It's a huge turnoff and many kids who otherwise love music have had to drop out because of his attitude. It's too bad, as I'm sure there are benefits to having a larger band of committed students who just may have more than one thing going on. And of course, the kids lose out on the experience as well.

Anonymous wrote:Usually the band concert is part of their grade, like an exam. He may get a zero for that grade if he just no shows

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Anonymous wrote:As the teacher of that hard class, your son is making a mature, responsible choice.

I had 6 kids miss my class last week for a mid day band concert. They have now been behind all week and will struggle to catch up before Friday’s test.

I don’t know why performances have to be during the school day.

I can't imagine how missing one day of class for a school-related activity would cause someone to be this behind unless one or both teachers were being intentionally punitive.

OP here - teacher for this class is amazing. Incredibly dedicated and gifted teacher - not punitive. But he has extremely high standards and class moves very quickly. DS does not want to miss class because the teachers is such a good lecturer so it is hard to recreate the in-class learning with just the text book or videos. DS already decided to pass on the spring amusement park band trip because it would require missing this class. (It is a block schedule school so missing one class is really like missing two classes).

I agree with your son. But part of making this mature decision is to talk to band teacher about it- not to simply skip. Maybe band teacher will excuse h8m, maybe he’ll still get a zero for missing- but the teacher should know where he is, why he didn’t attend, and have the opportunity to adjust the music for his sectional if it’s needed.

This. He talks to both teachers and makes a decision and clearly communicates. Stay out of the decision OP but counsel him to do this.

I’m interested that people are suggesting he talk to the band teacher ahead of time. He was worried that the teacher would try to step in and force him to miss the class. At my job we constantly say sometimes it’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. This seemed like it might be one of those situations.