Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an adult….I regret the effort that I put in and stopped club at 15.

If I had put even 50 percent effort it would have been at least division 1 scholarship.

Opportunity wasted

Could of, should of, would of.... You're teen self was burned. Move on!

I hope you don't have a child later on and try to have them "relive" your regrets....

My son, who is in his 2nd year in College, quit competitive soccer at 16 (MLS Next team). He now attends the College he wanted to attend for academics and plays Intramural soccer with college buddies for fun. No regrets!

perhaps I was but I still wasted my time with the neighborhood going nowhere kids…I just didn’t have the drive…I loved the sport…just didn’t want to put in the work

Don’t speak for your son…trust me…they have regrets they don’t share

Anonymous wrote:I know my message was lengthy, but they are quitting. I care more about their mental health than anything else. If they didn't want to quit, I'd be pulling them mid year no matter what.

My question is about whether or not someone's kiddo quit completely and then regretted it when they later wanted to make high school or college club level?

Your kid can still play in high school. They would just need to pick up some training sessions a few months before tryouts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To each their own so do you but my kid resembles much of the PP and has talked about quitting before but our rule is you can never quit in season for anything (sports, arts, clubs, jobs). Once you start, you must complete then reassess to see if you want to recommit yourself/take on that task. Quitting is contagious.

Yes that's normally what we say in our house also. However, this isn't a situation of my kiddo being lazy or just wanting to do something else. This is a truly abusive situation. I'm also trying to teach my kids when it's okay to remove yourself from unhealthy situations and relationships.

Maybe I missed it before but abusive in a legal sense or just toxicity?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is no doubt, he should quit. But then why this post? If there is some doubt, I would suggest he do rec for awhile: to have fun, reconnect with friends, and keep up his skills in case he changes his mind and wants to go back next year.

He will not be happy in rec soccer coming from a competitive environment where everyone is dedicated and shows up to everything and tries to get better. He wants to do other things than soccer or he wouldn’t have quit.

He would be better off trying out for other sports at his high school where his athleticism and competitiveness might help him make a team even in a sport he doesn’t know well. And of course also non-sports like performing arts, debate, student council.

Sounds like you are talking about rec for younger kids. Rec for older kids is more like between a scrimmage and a real game. They have big rosters to deal with absences and trying to get better is again for little kids. Most are in rec for the whole purpose of the game, to have fun beyond elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:If there is no doubt, he should quit. But then why this post? If there is some doubt, I would suggest he do rec for awhile: to have fun, reconnect with friends, and keep up his skills in case he changes his mind and wants to go back next year.

He will not be happy in rec soccer coming from a competitive environment where everyone is dedicated and shows up to everything and tries to get better. He wants to do other things than soccer or he wouldn’t have quit.

He would be better off trying out for other sports at his high school where his athleticism and competitiveness might help him make a team even in a sport he doesn’t know well. And of course also non-sports like performing arts, debate, student council.

Anonymous wrote:As an adult….I regret the effort that I put in and stopped club at 15.

If I had put even 50 percent effort it would have been at least division 1 scholarship.

Opportunity wasted

Could of, should of, would of.... You're teen self was burned. Move on!

I hope you don't have a child later on and try to have them "relive" your regrets....

My son, who is in his 2nd year in College, quit competitive soccer at 16 (MLS Next team). He now attends the College he wanted to attend for academics and plays Intramural soccer with college buddies for fun. No regrets!

If there is no doubt, he should quit. But then why this post? If there is some doubt, I would suggest he do rec for awhile: to have fun, reconnect with friends, and keep up his skills in case he changes his mind and wants to go back next year.

Your kid sounds similar to mine. Soccer was his life until around 9th grade. Club, travel, training, college pathway. Then he quit because it wasn't the ONLY thing he wanted to do anymore.

It's not that there was something else, it's just that once he reached high school, he recognized that if he wanted the college soccer path then the next 4 years would have to be dedicated to soccer and nothing else. He wanted to get involved at school, maybe get a part time job, hang out with friends, get good grades.

I think it's a good thing for his mental health to recognize when he wants to have freedom to explore new things. He doesn't regret quitting soccer. It's more likely he would regret NOT quitting and wonder what if he had the chance to try XYZ instead, where could it have led him?

Anonymous wrote:To each their own so do you but my kid resembles much of the PP and has talked about quitting before but our rule is you can never quit in season for anything (sports, arts, clubs, jobs). Once you start, you must complete then reassess to see if you want to recommit yourself/take on that task. Quitting is contagious.

Yes that's normally what we say in our house also. However, this isn't a situation of my kiddo being lazy or just wanting to do something else. This is a truly abusive situation. I'm also trying to teach my kids when it's okay to remove yourself from unhealthy situations and relationships.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Legimate question. What is being done to everyone kids that is so harsh? I've seen coaches yell at players quite a bit in game. I feel like what everyone is experiencing is so much worse. Are they personally attacking a player? Degrading them?

Humiliation style coaching, degrading individual players, pitting players against each other, getting in faces, threatening, etc. This is far beyond what's accepted as normal loud mouth on the sidelines/ mean coach.

You talking about coaches or parents?

Coaches. Who cares about the parents?

I think it's fairly common when kids hit the 12-14 age range, for a lot of reasons.

Their interests may change as they become more independent and aware of other sports/activities.

Some kids seem to move their focus away from sports altogether, while others find love of a new sport. I remember my oldest son was on a team with a 10 year old superstar soccer player. We moved away and when he went back to visit with his friends a few years later he reported that the former soccer superstar kid had dropped the sport and was in love with American football now (not as a kicker!).

Puberty hits for some kids much earlier than others (there are even racial difference in the start of puberty https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4118470/) which creates uneven competition, and many later-to-puberty kids who were once among the top players on their team get passed over for their mustachioed competitors.

And as much of a grind as high-level travel soccer is for parents, the kids are feeling that pressure every practice, every game, etc. Kids can burnout, too. One bad coach, one unfortunate injury, and their dedication to keep up with such an intense activity wanes.

I've had a few kids go through this. One is going through it now. He still "likes" soccer but is starting to see his personality as encompassing more than soccer and I think he's evolving from this boyhood dreams of being a professional soccer player to seeing a more realistic future for himself. It's a point that 99.99% of all the kids playing soccer will reach eventually.

So, he's trying new sports, playing soccer for his school, spending more time on his studies, and growing up. I'm just there to support him in any positive activity he wants to do.