Anonymous
01/13/2026 08:06
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long post coming up, but DD just went through this last year as a HS Soph. Soccer player at an ECNL club. Recruiting for high level women's college soccer is really early.
Beginning fall of sophomore year, we had a meeting with club coach talking about potential target schools - where is realistic that she would fit and then dream schools.
Started with sending emails to coaches about events and posting on Instagram and X her schedule and creating short highlight video. Posted cuts from highlight video on X and Insta.
DD worked with a friend of her older brothers on the highlight video - he had the editing skills. Once she saw what he was doing, she took over doing this for future videos.
Club paid for a subscription to sportsrecruits website to use as an initial means to contact coaches and also upload videos and other info.
We helped her create a 1 page bio with basic background info - HS GPA, Key courses, soccer accoloades like Conference Cup selections, USID, etc. She attached this with her emails to coaches.
Club coach was very good a passing back feedback from college coaches since they couldn't officially speak until post June 15. Most of it was College X contacted me and was interested in seeing more. Liked how you played in X game, etc. Also helped to narrow down list of schools as things progressed throughout the year.
She also went to a few ID days at schools of interest but they were really targeted. We went only as far as a car ride and were at different types of schools - local private in A10, private in ACC, public in Big10, public in ACC.
Once June 15 hit, floodgates opened and there was a ton of contact directly with her through her email and phone. We helped keep track of who was reaching out, when the wanted to talk and follow-up, etc.
We did not participate in any of the initial calls. They asked us to get on a call once offers were being made.
She consulted a lot with her club coach and technical director who were really helpful in sorting through pluses and minuses of different programs.
By the time official visits started to happen on August 1, she had things pretty narrowed down. She took 2 visits to her top 2 schools and had a 3 schedule that she canceled after the first 2. Committed on August 8.
It was a whirlwind from June 15 until that commit date.
She has been in touch regularly with the coaching staff at her committed school - talked to them in person at the ECNL KC showcase.
Now it's continuing to play, develop and work over the next 18 months. Kind of crazy, but it's worked out well so far.
You are lucky club cares. I have a best player on 2nd team kid and no one cares at all. It’s horrible. Even getting highlights is hard, club doesn’t do video for them. You have to do it yourself. DH and I both work full time and I will tell you this is a full time job…
Isn't this like saying I have the best player on the JV squad? Or, are you claiming your kid plays for like the #1 team in the country, so the best player on the 2nd team would be the best player on the 1st team of most of the top 10 teams.
Actually yes, the first team at this club is a top 10 the in the country with a large roster. So yes best kid second team would be first team at nearly all other clubs. Geography is limiting here or she would leave. Regardless, my point is that my kid is actually theoretically recruitable, but you’ll really have to be on a first team. Second teams get no support and it’s an exhausting uphill battle.
I realize baseball may not be analogous…but top players have zero issue moving to national teams that may be based across the country. The teams usually will arrive several days prior to a tournament to practice together, but many times like 1/2 the team isn’t local.
It’s not common for someone based in Boston to play for a CA team…but actually somewhat commonplace to play for a team based in GA or FL if truly at a top level.
Anonymous
01/13/2026 06:03
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long post coming up, but DD just went through this last year as a HS Soph. Soccer player at an ECNL club. Recruiting for high level women's college soccer is really early.
Beginning fall of sophomore year, we had a meeting with club coach talking about potential target schools - where is realistic that she would fit and then dream schools.
Started with sending emails to coaches about events and posting on Instagram and X her schedule and creating short highlight video. Posted cuts from highlight video on X and Insta.
DD worked with a friend of her older brothers on the highlight video - he had the editing skills. Once she saw what he was doing, she took over doing this for future videos.
Club paid for a subscription to sportsrecruits website to use as an initial means to contact coaches and also upload videos and other info.
We helped her create a 1 page bio with basic background info - HS GPA, Key courses, soccer accoloades like Conference Cup selections, USID, etc. She attached this with her emails to coaches.
Club coach was very good a passing back feedback from college coaches since they couldn't officially speak until post June 15. Most of it was College X contacted me and was interested in seeing more. Liked how you played in X game, etc. Also helped to narrow down list of schools as things progressed throughout the year.
She also went to a few ID days at schools of interest but they were really targeted. We went only as far as a car ride and were at different types of schools - local private in A10, private in ACC, public in Big10, public in ACC.
Once June 15 hit, floodgates opened and there was a ton of contact directly with her through her email and phone. We helped keep track of who was reaching out, when the wanted to talk and follow-up, etc.
We did not participate in any of the initial calls. They asked us to get on a call once offers were being made.
She consulted a lot with her club coach and technical director who were really helpful in sorting through pluses and minuses of different programs.
By the time official visits started to happen on August 1, she had things pretty narrowed down. She took 2 visits to her top 2 schools and had a 3 schedule that she canceled after the first 2. Committed on August 8.
It was a whirlwind from June 15 until that commit date.
She has been in touch regularly with the coaching staff at her committed school - talked to them in person at the ECNL KC showcase.
Now it's continuing to play, develop and work over the next 18 months. Kind of crazy, but it's worked out well so far.
You are lucky club cares. I have a best player on 2nd team kid and no one cares at all. It’s horrible. Even getting highlights is hard, club doesn’t do video for them. You have to do it yourself. DH and I both work full time and I will tell you this is a full time job…
Isn't this like saying I have the best player on the JV squad? Or, are you claiming your kid plays for like the #1 team in the country, so the best player on the 2nd team would be the best player on the 1st team of most of the top 10 teams.
Actually yes, the first team at this club is a top 10 the in the country with a large roster. So yes best kid second team would be first team at nearly all other clubs. Geography is limiting here or she would leave. Regardless, my point is that my kid is actually theoretically recruitable, but you’ll really have to be on a first team. Second teams get no support and it’s an exhausting uphill battle.
Anonymous
01/12/2026 11:13
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long post coming up, but DD just went through this last year as a HS Soph. Soccer player at an ECNL club. Recruiting for high level women's college soccer is really early.
Beginning fall of sophomore year, we had a meeting with club coach talking about potential target schools - where is realistic that she would fit and then dream schools.
Started with sending emails to coaches about events and posting on Instagram and X her schedule and creating short highlight video. Posted cuts from highlight video on X and Insta.
DD worked with a friend of her older brothers on the highlight video - he had the editing skills. Once she saw what he was doing, she took over doing this for future videos.
Club paid for a subscription to sportsrecruits website to use as an initial means to contact coaches and also upload videos and other info.
We helped her create a 1 page bio with basic background info - HS GPA, Key courses, soccer accoloades like Conference Cup selections, USID, etc. She attached this with her emails to coaches.
Club coach was very good a passing back feedback from college coaches since they couldn't officially speak until post June 15. Most of it was College X contacted me and was interested in seeing more. Liked how you played in X game, etc. Also helped to narrow down list of schools as things progressed throughout the year.
She also went to a few ID days at schools of interest but they were really targeted. We went only as far as a car ride and were at different types of schools - local private in A10, private in ACC, public in Big10, public in ACC.
Once June 15 hit, floodgates opened and there was a ton of contact directly with her through her email and phone. We helped keep track of who was reaching out, when the wanted to talk and follow-up, etc.
We did not participate in any of the initial calls. They asked us to get on a call once offers were being made.
She consulted a lot with her club coach and technical director who were really helpful in sorting through pluses and minuses of different programs.
By the time official visits started to happen on August 1, she had things pretty narrowed down. She took 2 visits to her top 2 schools and had a 3 schedule that she canceled after the first 2. Committed on August 8.
It was a whirlwind from June 15 until that commit date.
She has been in touch regularly with the coaching staff at her committed school - talked to them in person at the ECNL KC showcase.
Now it's continuing to play, develop and work over the next 18 months. Kind of crazy, but it's worked out well so far.
You are lucky club cares. I have a best player on 2nd team kid and no one cares at all. It’s horrible. Even getting highlights is hard, club doesn’t do video for them. You have to do it yourself. DH and I both work full time and I will tell you this is a full time job…
I know firsthand the exposure that top teams get versus 2nd teams is night and day and it will be tough. Heck, the differences between boys and girls is remarkable too in the soccer world. Nephew played for a MLS Next team as a starter and it was an extremely tedious process and took quite a bit of time to get committed to play in college.
One thing to keep in my if your DC is interesting in continuing to play in college - Club Soccer. Our friends son was in a similar situation. Top player on the 2nd team and wasn't really getting any real interest from colleges. Put that dream aside, went to the SEC school that he wanted and now plays for their club team and is having a blast doing it. It's pretty well run and structured. He's been a practice player as well with the girls team and said it's pretty fun as well. Good Luck!
Anonymous
01/12/2026 09:35
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long post coming up, but DD just went through this last year as a HS Soph. Soccer player at an ECNL club. Recruiting for high level women's college soccer is really early.
Beginning fall of sophomore year, we had a meeting with club coach talking about potential target schools - where is realistic that she would fit and then dream schools.
Started with sending emails to coaches about events and posting on Instagram and X her schedule and creating short highlight video. Posted cuts from highlight video on X and Insta.
DD worked with a friend of her older brothers on the highlight video - he had the editing skills. Once she saw what he was doing, she took over doing this for future videos.
Club paid for a subscription to sportsrecruits website to use as an initial means to contact coaches and also upload videos and other info.
We helped her create a 1 page bio with basic background info - HS GPA, Key courses, soccer accoloades like Conference Cup selections, USID, etc. She attached this with her emails to coaches.
Club coach was very good a passing back feedback from college coaches since they couldn't officially speak until post June 15. Most of it was College X contacted me and was interested in seeing more. Liked how you played in X game, etc. Also helped to narrow down list of schools as things progressed throughout the year.
She also went to a few ID days at schools of interest but they were really targeted. We went only as far as a car ride and were at different types of schools - local private in A10, private in ACC, public in Big10, public in ACC.
Once June 15 hit, floodgates opened and there was a ton of contact directly with her through her email and phone. We helped keep track of who was reaching out, when the wanted to talk and follow-up, etc.
We did not participate in any of the initial calls. They asked us to get on a call once offers were being made.
She consulted a lot with her club coach and technical director who were really helpful in sorting through pluses and minuses of different programs.
By the time official visits started to happen on August 1, she had things pretty narrowed down. She took 2 visits to her top 2 schools and had a 3 schedule that she canceled after the first 2. Committed on August 8.
It was a whirlwind from June 15 until that commit date.
She has been in touch regularly with the coaching staff at her committed school - talked to them in person at the ECNL KC showcase.
Now it's continuing to play, develop and work over the next 18 months. Kind of crazy, but it's worked out well so far.
You are lucky club cares. I have a best player on 2nd team kid and no one cares at all. It’s horrible. Even getting highlights is hard, club doesn’t do video for them. You have to do it yourself. DH and I both work full time and I will tell you this is a full time job…
Isn't this like saying I have the best player on the JV squad? Or, are you claiming your kid plays for like the #1 team in the country, so the best player on the 2nd team would be the best player on the 1st team of most of the top 10 teams.
Anonymous
01/11/2026 12:01
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:If you kid doesn't have the "time" to send emails, keep up with programs, and push for this opportunity themselves, then it doesn't bode well for what they will need to do to time manage study and play as a college athlete.
Your efforts are great, but you aren't doing them any favors. Help them with the email wording, sure, but sending them and handling the interactions with the coaches? Stop it!
Oh please. I'm the immediate PP. My kid is in a STEM path in an honors college and played a fall sport. If DC graduated now, it would be Magna Cum Laude so, how we handled it is just fine, despite your sweeping generalizations.
Anonymous
01/11/2026 12:00
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All of it. They don't want to hear from parents.
If the coaches are really interested, they want to talk with the parents. They want the whole family on board with the choice.
Not in our case. DD was recruited to big D1 program. The only contact we had with coaches was at her official, by which time she'd already verbally committed.
My DD was also recruited D1 but turned it down. They 100% wanted to talk to us.
Another kid from our HS went D1 football to a Big 10 school (and played as a freshman) and the parent was very involved.
Anonymous
01/02/2026 08:15
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All of it. They don't want to hear from parents.
If the coaches are really interested, they want to talk with the parents. They want the whole family on board with the choice.
Not until offers are made.
Some sports don’t make an offer until after visits so parents are more likely involved.
At the visit, sure.
Official visit is where the offer is made
That was not our experience across the board.
So when was the offer made? For every school we did an official visit- the financials were laid out. There was a bit of negotiation in the end but every official visit had a financial disclosure.
Before the visit. This was Carleton.
Anonymous
01/02/2026 07:25
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:Long post coming up, but DD just went through this last year as a HS Soph. Soccer player at an ECNL club. Recruiting for high level women's college soccer is really early.
Beginning fall of sophomore year, we had a meeting with club coach talking about potential target schools - where is realistic that she would fit and then dream schools.
Started with sending emails to coaches about events and posting on Instagram and X her schedule and creating short highlight video. Posted cuts from highlight video on X and Insta.
DD worked with a friend of her older brothers on the highlight video - he had the editing skills. Once she saw what he was doing, she took over doing this for future videos.
Club paid for a subscription to sportsrecruits website to use as an initial means to contact coaches and also upload videos and other info.
We helped her create a 1 page bio with basic background info - HS GPA, Key courses, soccer accoloades like Conference Cup selections, USID, etc. She attached this with her emails to coaches.
Club coach was very good a passing back feedback from college coaches since they couldn't officially speak until post June 15. Most of it was College X contacted me and was interested in seeing more. Liked how you played in X game, etc. Also helped to narrow down list of schools as things progressed throughout the year.
She also went to a few ID days at schools of interest but they were really targeted. We went only as far as a car ride and were at different types of schools - local private in A10, private in ACC, public in Big10, public in ACC.
Once June 15 hit, floodgates opened and there was a ton of contact directly with her through her email and phone. We helped keep track of who was reaching out, when the wanted to talk and follow-up, etc.
We did not participate in any of the initial calls. They asked us to get on a call once offers were being made.
She consulted a lot with her club coach and technical director who were really helpful in sorting through pluses and minuses of different programs.
By the time official visits started to happen on August 1, she had things pretty narrowed down. She took 2 visits to her top 2 schools and had a 3 schedule that she canceled after the first 2. Committed on August 8.
It was a whirlwind from June 15 until that commit date.
She has been in touch regularly with the coaching staff at her committed school - talked to them in person at the ECNL KC showcase.
Now it's continuing to play, develop and work over the next 18 months. Kind of crazy, but it's worked out well so far.
You are lucky club cares. I have a best player on 2nd team kid and no one cares at all. It’s horrible. Even getting highlights is hard, club doesn’t do video for them. You have to do it yourself. DH and I both work full time and I will tell you this is a full time job…
Anonymous
01/01/2026 00:05
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Thanks to all the PPs! This was informative
Anonymous
12/31/2025 23:20
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Our son is a freshman playing D1 football. He honestly did it all. He found a position coach to train with and that coach was instrumental in helping him. We paid for the training and one parent went on visits, but that’s it. Otherwise we took a back seat and let him do the leading.
D1 is a huge commitment. Your child has to really want it/have the drive or it’s not going to work out.
D1 is a huge commitment. Your child has to really want it/have the drive or it’s not going to work out.
Anonymous
12/30/2025 09:42
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All of it. They don't want to hear from parents.
If the coaches are really interested, they want to talk with the parents. They want the whole family on board with the choice.
Not until offers are made.
Some sports don’t make an offer until after visits so parents are more likely involved.
At the visit, sure.
Official visit is where the offer is made
That was not our experience across the board.
So when was the offer made? For every school we did an official visit- the financials were laid out. There was a bit of negotiation in the end but every official visit had a financial disclosure.
Anonymous
12/30/2025 08:49
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
On my daughter’s soccer team the majority of the parents helped. It was about a 50/50 split on helping with emails versus highlights.
Anonymous
12/30/2025 08:37
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
My daughter is doing 75% of the work in her junior year. Involves researching colleges, emailing coaches back, looking for ID camps.
Anonymous
12/23/2025 07:58
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
Had two kids recruited. Took them to tournaments/camps/showcases but the coach contact/follow up was on them. If kids asked us questions/be involved we did but it was basically their show to run.
Anonymous
12/22/2025 09:10
Subject: If your kid was recruited to play in college
For my son we did the admin stuff - kept a spreadsheet, suggested new colleges to look at, researched camps. He did all of the actual communication. Coaches do not want to hear from parents.
He did all of the initial phone calls by himself. We went with him for recruiting visits.
In the end the offer he accepted was arranged by his travel team coach (baseball). The coaches have a relationship and the college trusts that someone the team recommends will be a good fit. It isn’t formal or a pipeline or anything like that - just a history. This is D3, not uber competitive D1.
He did all of the initial phone calls by himself. We went with him for recruiting visits.
In the end the offer he accepted was arranged by his travel team coach (baseball). The coaches have a relationship and the college trusts that someone the team recommends will be a good fit. It isn’t formal or a pipeline or anything like that - just a history. This is D3, not uber competitive D1.