Doing a nightly Advent candle with the family. All lights out except the candles and a small lantern. We're not very religious anymore but we're reading through the Christmas story and then taking turns picking something else to read or talk about together that is vaguely seasonal. One day it was animal hibernation and another Pokemon and world peace. Parents usually pick an admirable historical figure out a concept like gratitude. This daily moment of peace helps so much when everything else starts to feel so hectic.

Hire. Everything. Out.

My random tip is that since Thanksgiving we've been eating down our pantry and freezer stores of food so there's plenty of space for when we're hosting relatives for ten days over Christmas.

Now that I've cleared out a section of the freezer, I'm making cookie dough for a couple kinds that freeze well in logs. Then they can be pulled out and cut for last minute company or when we get invited somewhere a need to bring a dessert to share.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not life-changing or anything, but I no longer wrap presents. I use reusable gift bags (or consumable ones, but I just put labels over the old gift tags and reuse until the bag looks spent.

I have a large box full of gift bags in multiple sizes. I've been saving them for about 6 years now so I've got plenty for any size gift.

I don't feel the need to reciprocate with a gift if someone gives me a surprise gift. That's nuts. Just say thank you!

NP. This is something I'm working on. I know I'll get flamed for sounding rude and ungrateful, but we have some acquaintances who always drop by at some point during the holidays with a bag of homemade goods. I always feel I have to have something to give them in return, so I stress about it (starting about now). I would much rather focus on my family and people we're close to and just accept their gift with a thank you but not feel I have to reciprocate - I'm over it!!

I have been one of these people - with a very generous view of the season and my friendships. After a number of years where I am the only one doing something, I have finally learned to let it go. We have become a less community focused culture and although I have tried to do my part to maintain a generous, neighborly spirit, I can't be the only one in my circle to do that. I've pared my list way back.

This sounds like a narrow point of view. I do my part to maintain a generous neighborly spirit but I am not a gift person. I do things like drive a neighbor to/from the airport or their colonoscopy appointment, shovel an extra walk, be an emergency contact, let someone use my oven when theirs breaks right before hosting a dinner party, help search for an escaped pet, etc etc. If you want to drop by with a holiday gift, that's fine, but I probably won't reciprocate the same way.

I agree, though, that we have become less community focused in general. Gifts are just one way to counter that but they're not for everyone. -NP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not life-changing or anything, but I no longer wrap presents. I use reusable gift bags (or consumable ones, but I just put labels over the old gift tags and reuse until the bag looks spent.

I have a large box full of gift bags in multiple sizes. I've been saving them for about 6 years now so I've got plenty for any size gift.

I don't feel the need to reciprocate with a gift if someone gives me a surprise gift. That's nuts. Just say thank you!

NP. This is something I'm working on. I know I'll get flamed for sounding rude and ungrateful, but we have some acquaintances who always drop by at some point during the holidays with a bag of homemade goods. I always feel I have to have something to give them in return, so I stress about it (starting about now). I would much rather focus on my family and people we're close to and just accept their gift with a thank you but not feel I have to reciprocate - I'm over it!!

I always had "emergency" prosecco, chocolate gift sets and never needed them, so we ate them. I know the one year I don't do it, I'll need.

But instead, I'll probably just say "thank you". It evens out through the year, especially if it's a neighbor.

Really?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not life-changing or anything, but I no longer wrap presents. I use reusable gift bags (or consumable ones, but I just put labels over the old gift tags and reuse until the bag looks spent.

I have a large box full of gift bags in multiple sizes. I've been saving them for about 6 years now so I've got plenty for any size gift.

I don't feel the need to reciprocate with a gift if someone gives me a surprise gift. That's nuts. Just say thank you!

NP. This is something I'm working on. I know I'll get flamed for sounding rude and ungrateful, but we have some acquaintances who always drop by at some point during the holidays with a bag of homemade goods. I always feel I have to have something to give them in return, so I stress about it (starting about now). I would much rather focus on my family and people we're close to and just accept their gift with a thank you but not feel I have to reciprocate - I'm over it!!

I have been one of these people - with a very generous view of the season and my friendships. After a number of years where I am the only one doing something, I have finally learned to let it go. We have become a less community focused culture and although I have tried to do my part to maintain a generous, neighborly spirit, I can't be the only one in my circle to do that. I've pared my list way back.

You guests want you to enjoy yourself too. I would not obsess over details. Accept things not going as planned and just enjoy regardless.

You don't have to give gifts to people who gave to you. If you must, just have some things ready like nice holiday tea or coffee, holiday hand soap for the bathroom with a pleasant peppermint scent or something, nice olive oil or assorted holiday spices.

I prepare holiday meals over the summer and freeze them. Then just defrost the night before. That way Thanksgiving/xmas eve/xmas is not difficult and I can enjoy mingling with my guests instead of being in the kitchen.

We have a house keeper that comes and does laundry/cleans/changes linens 3x a week.

Figure out the things that are really important to you and pare down the obligatory ones.

--I do 90 percent of my holiday shopping online on black friday weekend. The gifts usually arrive a few days later and then I set aside a few hours to wrap them all. A few gifts that are left to purchase are wrapped as I buy them
--decorations go up early, usually the week of Thanksgiving bc I want to enjoy December without getting the house ready
--Try to space out grocery shopping so stock up on wine and pantry essentials like stock, flour, etc. for when we host Christmas
--Keep a spreadsheet of meal plans for Christmas week
--Always set my table, flowers, etc. day before hosting. Also take out platters with post it notes with what goes in them. Saves so much time

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This shouldn’t be an off the wall suggestion, but others are always amazed to learn I do this: take a day (or 2) off of work! Take off a Monday and do your shopping, wrap, decorate, or whatever you need. I do this every year and it is a huge help. I build it into my planned time off and don’t let anyone talk me out of it.

We have a December 31 fiscal year so no time off between thanksgiving and year end. Great idea if your work permits though.

Not to be pedantic but a December 31 year end is a calendar year end. A fiscal year end is literally any date other than December 31. Carry on.

So far I think I have it.
Saturday - wash all laundry. Sometimes carries into Sunday.
Sunday - lay out 5 outfits for the kids who struggle to wake and get dressed. The rest of laundry is a “maybe.” It’s washed and I can find my stuff hanging up, or in my clean piles that are out of the way.

For the busy season of events and extra things to remember, I typed out my whole calendar. Each day is one row.
Column with the date
Column with the events for that date
Column with the prep for those thing
Final column*

So it would read
12/9 early drop off for kid A
Class party (aim to bring teacher gift)
Extra work responsibility Tuesday mornings
Volunteer to get pizzas for play practice 4:30

On the right I would have the prep
Grab teacher gifts/gift bag

**here’s my trick. And you can start it now. For each day, I do TWO days of the prep column. So my final column on the right is “goal: 12/5”

I started late this year, but it’s working.
On 12/5, I did the work for 12/5 and 12/6
On 12/6, I did the work for 12/7, 12/8

I will carry this through so that by 12/19-12/20 most or all prep will be done and I can relax until 1/1.

**extra advice: this is where I am careful about adding more. I planned my month. NO is ok.
**signups for parties or breakfast, this is where I go for non perishables. Unless I think I have time, that way.. I can get the item (orange juice will last) ahead of time and keep to my prep calendar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Each year, when we all get little gifts like lotion, candles, tea, throw blankets, jams or jellies, as well as the gift bags and tissue paper they came in (refolded and smoothed out) keep them in a gift closet. In early December, I take them all out and spread them out on the unused part of the living room floor. Whenever we need gifts for secret Santa’s or white elephant etc, it is easy to look through that pile, select something, grab some bag and tissue paper for them, and off we go.

We had a closet like this when the kids were young - extra lego sets, craft supplies, dupe barbies, etc. but now that we are all adults we don't get tatt like this. Who is giving you this garbage all year?

I am a teacher, and I also have two teen daughters.

Anonymous wrote:This shouldn’t be an off the wall suggestion, but others are always amazed to learn I do this: take a day (or 2) off of work! Take off a Monday and do your shopping, wrap, decorate, or whatever you need. I do this every year and it is a huge help. I build it into my planned time off and don’t let anyone talk me out of it.

We have a December 31 fiscal year so no time off between thanksgiving and year end. Great idea if your work permits though.

Every year I do less and less.

Cookies? No one eats them, so they're off of the list unless my kids want to make them on their own.

Decorations? This year I only got out half of them, thinking the entire time about how much I want to deal with putting away when we get back from vacation.

That elf? He will never be found again.