Anonymous wrote:It's not a "destination" wedding. It's a wedding in the bride's home country, with her family who could not come to the US ceremony due to Covid. A destination wedding is when a couple picks a stupid vacation spot they have no ties to, and annoys everyone by insisting they all attend, at great cost and inconvenience.

The circumstances make all the difference, OP. I know you're mad about your sister, but please try to see past your pettiness. The bride's family must have been really sad not to attend the first wedding!

This event is not for you. Your sister may push you to attend, but this is mostly for the bride's family. I'm sure the bride and groom understand that the guests at their US wedding won't attend the Spanish one.

+1

When in doubt, we do everything we can to attend weddings and funerals. Even if only DH (for his side of the family) or only I go (for my side). So that always tends to be my advice….attend if you can.

But- money is not extremely tight for us & we can afford the travel.

It is unclear to me how large this wedding (vow renewal?) will be, or how many family members on your side will attend. Or how much support nephew and wife may or may not be needing or hoping for.

I would keep in mind that this isn’t a self indulgent “destination wedding” for no reason- rather, it is the bride’s home town. It may not matter in this case, but there is a major difference between the two IMHO.

However, yes- you did already attend one wedding.

Maybe ask nephew more about this, if the relationship with your sister isn’t great right now? For all you know, it was just a courtesy invite. Or- maybe nephew really IS hoping you attend for whatever reason.

Easy. Don't go

This is clearly intended for the bride’s family. You are not obligated to go. I have been to European weddings and they are 100 times more fun than an American wedding. Decide if you want to attend and if not, no big deal. I had a destination wedding. Believe me, I had no expectations of extended family and friends attending. Don’t make it a big deal. They can’t plan something that fits everyone’s schedule.

Anonymous wrote:Grow up, OP.

You're an aunt. No one cares if you go. You're just hoping we all start dumping on your sister and the bride and groom for wanting to host a fun wedding. And by the way it's NOT a "destination wedding" if the bride's entire family lives there!

+1. This is not a destination wedding. WTH!

I'd have zero guilt for declining this invite.

Anonymous wrote:Good luck. Send your regrets. Done. It's for her family in Spain. You already attended. This is basically a vow renewal and you have zero obligation to go.

+1 and if I had the money to go, I would. Weddings are rarer than vacations.

I spent $4K for a Fri-Wed trip for 2 to Portland for a wedding last summer. $1K plane tix for 2, $1.5K hotels, $0.5K rental car, $1K everything else (food, admissions, tours, misc.) So only 4 days of vacation with 2 full days of plane travel.

It's not a "destination" wedding. It's a wedding in the bride's home country, with her family who could not come to the US ceremony due to Covid. A destination wedding is when a couple picks a stupid vacation spot they have no ties to, and annoys everyone by insisting they all attend, at great cost and inconvenience.

The circumstances make all the difference, OP. I know you're mad about your sister, but please try to see past your pettiness. The bride's family must have been really sad not to attend the first wedding!

This event is not for you. Your sister may push you to attend, but this is mostly for the bride's family. I'm sure the bride and groom understand that the guests at their US wedding won't attend the Spanish one.

This is actually one of the easiest ones to decline since you already attended their stateside wedding and this seems to be a post wedding reception in the brides home country. Zero obligation to even send a gift- you already sent them one at their first wedding celebration

Anonymous wrote:No one has a “work-related” event a year out. Just stop complaining OP. Don’t go. It’s not a “destination wedding”. It’s for the bride’s family who couldn’t come to the first one. And no one cares about your sister or her issues.

Yes they do. Conferences for example are known a year+ out. If you’re a hosting org, a speaker, a moderator then it’s on your calendar.

No way I’d go to a “wedding” for a couple who’s been married FOUR years and whose actual wedding you attended. Nope.

Anonymous wrote:No one has a “work-related” event a year out. Just stop complaining OP. Don’t go. It’s not a “destination wedding”. It’s for the bride’s family who couldn’t come to the first one. And no one cares about your sister or her issues.

Accountants come to mind.

OP it’s not a destination wedding, it’s a wedding for the bride’s family. You clearly don’t feel like that includes you so stay home. Whats the peobkem?

No one has a “work-related” event a year out. Just stop complaining OP. Don’t go. It’s not a “destination wedding”. It’s for the bride’s family who couldn’t come to the first one. And no one cares about your sister or her issues.

Anonymous wrote:Grow up, OP.

You're an aunt. No one cares if you go. You're just hoping we all start dumping on your sister and the bride and groom for wanting to host a fun wedding. And by the way it's NOT a "destination wedding" if the bride's entire family lives there!

Thank you. I married a woman from Glasgow, although she was living in DC for the previous 15 years. My family was here in the Mid Atlantic and her's over there. So, in Edinburgh it was.

I heard so many snotty remarks about it being a 'destination' wedding that we actually didn't invite the naysayers even though they were in our inner circle. One woman actually complained that it was during 'her birthday week'

People just suck.

Anonymous wrote:You already went to their wedding. Obligation satisfied. This is just a party.

This!