Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD's close knit group of friends all recently gained access to Snap Chat. Is Snap Chat akin to other social media? I need to do my research but thought I'd get some perspective here as well. They are just turned 13yo. I hate for my kid being the only one without it but I have always said no to social media until older -- if that's what this is?

This either isn't true or he's friends with a bunch of kids whose parents are aloof. I'd text them and see if it's actually true and if they know it's happening. My kid likes to use the "all of my friends are doing it" but they're not.

DP - if it’s a small close-knit group of kids, it could absolutely be the case. There are five kids in my DD’s close friend group and four of those five are on SnapChat and have been for a while. Not all the parents are checked out.

That’s one of the things I find hardest about tech/social media, in that what matters most to kids is what their friend group is doing. They don’t care if 10 other random kids aren’t using Snap or don’t have smartphones if their close friend group is doing those things. A lot of it is luck in how their friends’ parents handle this stuff.

It's not entirely luck.

We held off on smart phones and the kids without phones or with only really locked down phones found each other. They were jealous of the phone kids at first but ultimately found them boring to hang out with since everyone was on an individual screen rather than interacting.

It did make us have to be less strict about getting together in person even when it was inconvenient for the parents. The two teens I know who have gotten in the most trouble online are ones whose parents don't let them go to any hang outs in person.

Why would parents not let their kids go out in person? That’s sad. In-person socialization really important for a teen’s mental health.

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is such a weird place where every teenager in real life has snap chat, and every parent on DCUM swears up and down their kids don't have it.

This!!!! They either have it on their phone and delete it or on their laptop (including school issued one because kids know how to bypass the settings). Kids also use VPNs to access things.

Hard no, it’s tough enough monitoring their phone usage. Social media opens up a whole new window to experiences that they are not prepared for. Let kids be kids. You will be exposing them to a lot of things on the internet that you would not expose them to in the real world. And it’s addictive. Do you want them to be exposed to all the dangers of the world without any control at this age? Do you want them to be addicted? Your answer to this is the same as if they can get snap chat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD's close knit group of friends all recently gained access to Snap Chat. Is Snap Chat akin to other social media? I need to do my research but thought I'd get some perspective here as well. They are just turned 13yo. I hate for my kid being the only one without it but I have always said no to social media until older -- if that's what this is?

This either isn't true or he's friends with a bunch of kids whose parents are aloof. I'd text them and see if it's actually true and if they know it's happening. My kid likes to use the "all of my friends are doing it" but they're not.

DP - if it’s a small close-knit group of kids, it could absolutely be the case. There are five kids in my DD’s close friend group and four of those five are on SnapChat and have been for a while. Not all the parents are checked out.

That’s one of the things I find hardest about tech/social media, in that what matters most to kids is what their friend group is doing. They don’t care if 10 other random kids aren’t using Snap or don’t have smartphones if their close friend group is doing those things. A lot of it is luck in how their friends’ parents handle this stuff.

It's not entirely luck.

We held off on smart phones and the kids without phones or with only really locked down phones found each other. They were jealous of the phone kids at first but ultimately found them boring to hang out with since everyone was on an individual screen rather than interacting.

It did make us have to be less strict about getting together in person even when it was inconvenient for the parents. The two teens I know who have gotten in the most trouble online are ones whose parents don't let them go to any hang outs in person.

Yes the messages disappeared on Snapchat, but everyone…. Teens are savvy. They also know how to erase text messages. They go into deleted and erase them from there. They can also screenshot Snapchat, so if they want to save that they can. They know if they screenshot it from another device then it won’t show the person who sent it that it has been screenshot it.
This is the same for Internet search history, you can even delay a text message now so children can make it look like they sent a text message at a certain time, but they sent it earlier. There are all sorts of waste teens can get around everything.
The biggest thing that you should focus on is trust with your child. If you have that then no matter what they are exposed to you are in such a better place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD's close knit group of friends all recently gained access to Snap Chat. Is Snap Chat akin to other social media? I need to do my research but thought I'd get some perspective here as well. They are just turned 13yo. I hate for my kid being the only one without it but I have always said no to social media until older -- if that's what this is?

This either isn't true or he's friends with a bunch of kids whose parents are aloof. I'd text them and see if it's actually true and if they know it's happening. My kid likes to use the "all of my friends are doing it" but they're not.

DP - if it’s a small close-knit group of kids, it could absolutely be the case. There are five kids in my DD’s close friend group and four of those five are on SnapChat and have been for a while. Not all the parents are checked out.

That’s one of the things I find hardest about tech/social media, in that what matters most to kids is what their friend group is doing. They don’t care if 10 other random kids aren’t using Snap or don’t have smartphones if their close friend group is doing those things. A lot of it is luck in how their friends’ parents handle this stuff.

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade DD's close knit group of friends all recently gained access to Snap Chat. Is Snap Chat akin to other social media? I need to do my research but thought I'd get some perspective here as well. They are just turned 13yo. I hate for my kid being the only one without it but I have always said no to social media until older -- if that's what this is?

This either isn't true or he's friends with a bunch of kids whose parents are aloof. I'd text them and see if it's actually true and if they know it's happening. My kid likes to use the "all of my friends are doing it" but they're not.