Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my personal experience, the men who lose touch with their older children are pretty selfish and have been very toxic to the children's mothers.

The new family is an opportunity for them to start fresh.

The new wife and new kids don’t want to deal with the older set of kids and other mother/ex wife. No time either. The father needs to set aside time and attention.

And the dad usually has very limited time and attention. If he has two sets of kids, even if he’s a high earner, he’s probably still working a lot to support them. And he’s also usually no spring chicken at this point.

Totally this. He wants the new wife so he agrees to more kids. But then he's spread too thin financially and logistically, so nobody is satisfied. To avoid a second divorce, he picks the current wife and her kids, and she makes excuses to blame the older kids and their mom for her husband's shortcomings. It's utterly predictable. Happens all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad did this to my older half-sister. From stories I’ve heard, his ex and my mom didn’t get along and my mom wasn’t kind to his daughter so she stopped coming around before I was even born. Ultimately, my dad could have put his foot down if he really wanted to so the blame lies with him. Men are loyal to the woman they’re currently sleeping with.

“Men” are “loyal” to those who still believe in their ego and image facade. Or at least put up with it.

Does the blame also lie with your mom?

It’s amazing to think about how the current “new” kids and the previous kid(s) probably have very different perceptions and feelings toward their father. I imagine the new ones think their father is the absolute greatest most involved dad whereas the previous ones have a very different view.

Also you almost never hear about the same scenario with a Mother. Sure, it happens but not nearly at the same rate. And when it does happen with a woman it seems to be related to drugs, alcohol, mental illness-whereas with a man just seems to be because of their own choices regarding being involved with the children.

This was my Dad. He did visitation when I was a kid, but when he got remarried and has a new kid, that ended it. We were estranged from high school until around the time I got engaged and he attended my wedding. He was a fairly good grandfather although by that time I live halfway across the country and didn't see him more than 1 or 2x a year.