Anonymous
11/29/2025 20:08
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.
This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.
This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.
Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.
Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.
That's only because the women who are hurt "WAAY more" in divorce were free loading during marriage.
Ladies, get a job.
"Unpaid labor" incoming in 3, 2, 1...
Seems like it’s not unpaid if you divorce. I guess it would behoove men to participate in raising their own children and running their own household. Sounds like they can get screwed in divorce if they don’t.
Anonymous
11/29/2025 19:26
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.
I’m pretty sure there is a federal law that you can’t be required to pay more than 50% of your income in child support.
The only way that story makes sense is alimony plus child support which means he is the sole financial support. In that case of course it meant that the household with the kids would get more than half.
If he made his apartment into a “bachelor pad” then he didn’t want the kids.
To kids, a one bedroom apartment with second hand furniture looks and feels like a bachelor pad, even with a bunch of pictures of the kids and their artwork on the walls.
The ex worked. Like I said, they took into account travel reimbursements for airfare, rental car, and hotel rooms as part of his income. It should have not have counted. So his actual income was much lower.
Kids have no idea what a bachelor pad is. It's not a term kids use.
Anonymous
11/29/2025 19:24
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.
I’m pretty sure there is a federal law that you can’t be required to pay more than 50% of your income in child support.
The only way that story makes sense is alimony plus child support which means he is the sole financial support. In that case of course it meant that the household with the kids would get more than half.
If he made his apartment into a “bachelor pad” then he didn’t want the kids.
To kids, a one bedroom apartment with second hand furniture looks and feels like a bachelor pad, even with a bunch of pictures of the kids and their artwork on the walls.
The ex worked. Like I said, they took into account travel reimbursements for airfare, rental car, and hotel rooms as part of his income. It should have not have counted. So his actual income was much lower.
Anonymous
11/29/2025 19:20
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.
Paying child support isn’t supposed to mean you never have to buy your kid shoes or a jacket. Kids grow and are rough with their things.
And if he got meals paid for while on business travel, those are meals that didn’t come from his salary. That makes sense.
Actually, paying that much child support should mean that the primary custody parent is buying most of the clothes and shoes. It would be different if it was a 50-50 custody arrangement and child support was adjusted as such.
They took into account the reimbursements he got for airfare, rental car and hotel rooms. That should not have counted as income.
Anonymous
11/29/2025 19:00
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.
This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.
This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.
Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.
Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.
Maybe they shouldn't run off from their marriage and family then?
90% or more of divorces are filed by women now.
You can be better off even if you are in a worse financial position.
Anonymous
11/29/2025 18:25
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.
This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.
This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.
Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.
Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.
That's only because the women who are hurt "WAAY more" in divorce were free loading during marriage.
Ladies, get a job.
"Unpaid labor" incoming in 3, 2, 1...
Anonymous
11/29/2025 18:24
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.
This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.
This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.
Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.
Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.
Maybe they shouldn't run off from their marriage and family then?
90% or more of divorces are filed by women now.
Filing for divorce and being the one to end the marriage are two different things.
In plenty of marriages the person who got left is the one who files.
Whatever lies you have to tell yourself...
Anonymous
11/29/2025 18:24
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.
This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.
This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.
Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.
Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.
Maybe they shouldn't run off from their marriage and family then?
90% or more of divorces are filed by women now.
Filing for divorce and being the one to end the marriage are two different things.
In plenty of marriages the person who got left is the one who files.
Exactly. XH left us to live with another woman. No way was I waiting for him to file.
Anonymous
11/29/2025 18:20
Subject: Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.
This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.
This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.
Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.
Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.
That's only because the women who are hurt "WAAY more" in divorce were free loading during marriage.
Ladies, get a job.
Women aren’t necessarily freeloading if they don’t work but you cannot take the same income that you lived as a household and create two households and expect to live the same way.