Anonymous wrote:I don't think this has anything to do with alcohol. It's the anxiety generation. Too much competition and pressure, too much social media and the 24/7 clickbait news cycle, endless parent-driven fears about everything from illness to unemployment weighs on these kids. I remember my college days as carefree - I was just in college, nothing else was expected of me, the "future" was a problem for down the road.

+100

I only spoke with my parents once a week by phone on Sundays. Calls were quick check-ins of 30 minutes, max. We’re hoping DC will do the same (plus whatever quick “touch” texts they want to send to stay connected re sports, our family pet, pics of campus etc.)

I genuinely think the constant parent involvement is part of the problem. Including Life360. 😳 College kids need space to learn to experiment and figure things out without their parents’ constant input.

That means learning to FIRST use their other resources - their own judgment, peer support, college resources (professors, advisors, help centers, RAs etc.)

Supportive parents are an incredible gift to college aged kid! But unless there are special circumstances (mental health issues, ongoing adjustment to LDs) parents should not be the go-to or even a frequently-accessed source of advice at that age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son isn't much of a drinker. Didn't drink in high school but has started to drink in college. Much different than my college experience. But that was to be expected. I went to a SLAC with a big Greek presence. He is at a city school without a big Greek presence. He is in a club that has a lot of meetings/events. He also lifts and runs, a lot. Plays cards and pickle ball for fun. His school also has D1 football. So, that makes a big difference. He loves college.

What school?

Pitt.

Anonymous wrote:My son isn't much of a drinker. Didn't drink in high school but has started to drink in college. Much different than my college experience. But that was to be expected. I went to a SLAC with a big Greek presence. He is at a city school without a big Greek presence. He is in a club that has a lot of meetings/events. He also lifts and runs, a lot. Plays cards and pickle ball for fun. His school also has D1 football. So, that makes a big difference. He loves college.

What school?

I don't think this has anything to do with alcohol. It's the anxiety generation. Too much competition and pressure, too much social media and the 24/7 clickbait news cycle, endless parent-driven fears about everything from illness to unemployment weighs on these kids. I remember my college days as carefree - I was just in college, nothing else was expected of me, the "future" was a problem for down the road.

My son isn't much of a drinker. Didn't drink in high school but has started to drink in college. Much different than my college experience. But that was to be expected. I went to a SLAC with a big Greek presence. He is at a city school without a big Greek presence. He is in a club that has a lot of meetings/events. He also lifts and runs, a lot. Plays cards and pickle ball for fun. His school also has D1 football. So, that makes a big difference. He loves college.

Bigger issue is colleges working hard to stamp out fun.

Stanford makes it so difficult to throw social events that kids will comment how on some weekends there are literally zero events because you need to formally register your party, ensure adherence to a list of party rules et al.

Anonymous wrote:College was not fun. It was cold, grey (Northeast school), loud and a lot of alcohol but that didn’t make it that fun. I got over that soon and got part time jobs and just worked a lot. I was happier as soon as I could move away from dorms into an apartment so I could at least sleep a little. It was a really miserable time.

I went to plenty of parties but the depressing weather and living in the dorms and never sleeping really did a number on me the first two years. I was so over it by junior year I just wanted college to be done.

+1

Northeast weather is depressing.

College was not fun. It was cold, grey (Northeast school), loud and a lot of alcohol but that didn’t make it that fun. I got over that soon and got part time jobs and just worked a lot. I was happier as soon as I could move away from dorms into an apartment so I could at least sleep a little. It was a really miserable time.

I went to plenty of parties but the depressing weather and living in the dorms and never sleeping really did a number on me the first two years. I was so over it by junior year I just wanted college to be done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine Greek life would be fun for the majority of students. At least the Southern ones. The Greek life there is racist and rigid. Some sororities don’t allow men in their rooms and no alcohol. To dance and have a few beers you need to go to fraternities where you can’t always trust what you’re drinking.

We had fun way back with a combination of drinking and partying, going to concerts, hanging out with our friends, activities. No Greek at my school luckily.

Spoken by someone who truly has no idea what they are talking about.

Yeah right.

All my fun memories from college involve two things - free, unstructured time and other people.

Sometimes there was drinking, and sometimes we were at actual parties or sorority/fraternity formals etc. But most of my fun memories involve neither.

For me, it was all about the day-to-day hanging out. Lingering at dinner with friends while procrastinating getting work done. Going to football and basketball games - sometimes planned, sometimes spontaneously. And just hanging out in each other’s rooms or at lunch between classes.

It was a T10 school, and we always felt “busy” and often “stressed.” But in retrospect, we had tons of open time in between classes, studying/writing papers/doing problem sets, and spending time on various clubs (we each were involved in two or three, max.)

My sense is that college kids still have plenty of that free, unstructured time. It’s just their choice about how to use it.

As long as kids don’t fall into the trap of over scheduling 100% of their time or staying in their rooms watching Netflix and ordering in food, they should be fine. 👍

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine Greek life would be fun for the majority of students. At least the Southern ones. The Greek life there is racist and rigid. Some sororities don’t allow men in their rooms and no alcohol. To dance and have a few beers you need to go to fraternities where you can’t always trust what you’re drinking.

We had fun way back with a combination of drinking and partying, going to concerts, hanging out with our friends, activities. No Greek at my school luckily.

I also think some kids are turned off by the hunger games aspects of rush.

+1
My DC attends a large school with only about 20% going Greek. Neither she nor her friends had any desire to rush, but that’s not to say they aren’t involved in a lot of activities and go to plenty of parties!

Also, some parents seem to think that you’re either a good student OR a partier. You can certainly be both. My DC and friends are all Dean’s list students who also like to have fun. It’s not either/or.

My sons thankfully wanted nothing to do with frat culture. Both are athletic. One club, one Varsity. Picked schools in the T10/20 with little to no Greek life. Don’t get me wrong, they have fun—but they don’t have to pay for their friends or do weird sh@t.

Anonymous wrote:Hazing and Greek life is getting worse,

Sent my kids to a school with very little-to none. They aren’t into that weird bullsh@t anyways. Letting someone out another guy’s @ss in your face or bother homoerotic stuff and be made to eat barf.

Omg. Yes. Granted my dad went to Jesuit schools- Georgetown, BC w/out Greek life—but my parents were down on frat/sororities. Drinkers, partners but not that weird cultish let’s get all the pledges baked and put our care @sses in their faces or make them drink urine. My brother and I were athletes and not into any of that stuff. A bunch of mean girls was also barfy to me. I had a lot of guy friends and my girl friends were not that catty gossipy crap

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine Greek life would be fun for the majority of students. At least the Southern ones. The Greek life there is racist and rigid. Some sororities don’t allow men in their rooms and no alcohol. To dance and have a few beers you need to go to fraternities where you can’t always trust what you’re drinking.

We had fun way back with a combination of drinking and partying, going to concerts, hanging out with our friends, activities. No Greek at my school luckily.

I also think some kids are turned off by the hunger games aspects of rush.

+1
My DC attends a large school with only about 20% going Greek. Neither she nor her friends had any desire to rush, but that’s not to say they aren’t involved in a lot of activities and go to plenty of parties!

Also, some parents seem to think that you’re either a good student OR a partier. You can certainly be both. My DC and friends are all Dean’s list students who also like to have fun. It’s not either/or.

Both of my kids are having a great time - not in Greek system - not sure what "too social" means - having fun is mostly about being with other people who share your interests - and both have found their tribes in college.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine Greek life would be fun for the majority of students. At least the Southern ones. The Greek life there is racist and rigid. Some sororities don’t allow men in their rooms and no alcohol. To dance and have a few beers you need to go to fraternities where you can’t always trust what you’re drinking.

We had fun way back with a combination of drinking and partying, going to concerts, hanging out with our friends, activities. No Greek at my school luckily.

Spoken by someone who truly has no idea what they are talking about.