Anonymous
Post 11/25/2025 06:40     Subject: Wait til 8th
My middle child was the first in her friend group to get a phone (late ES). We got hell over it although a) it was stripped down to phone, text, and maps and b) she got it after my XH tried to kill himself.

The experience made me realize that people would rather police other people’s children than reinforce expectations for the behavior of their own.
Anonymous
Post 11/25/2025 06:35     Subject: Re:Wait til 8th
I think it helps some parents because it gives them a sense that there is a community that agrees with them behind them. So while the kid is saying “But everyone has one” the parents can say “No because we know that parents said they were not giving their kids a phone through this pledge.”

Parenting is rough and if signing a pledge makes it easier for a parent to say no, then go for it. We have no and our 8th grader does not have a phone, nor does he want a phone. I don’t know anyone who did sign the pledge but I know that he has friends with a phone and friends without a phone. It has not been an issue.
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2025 16:35     Subject: Wait til 8th
How did waiting to get your kid a phone become something that calls for signing a pledge? Do people still sign temperance pledges? Chastity pledges?
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2025 11:54     Subject: Wait til 8th
Anonymous wrote:We are pretty much the only middle school parents we know whose kids don’t have a phone or watch - our children do have iPads at home and have demonstrated over time that they can use them very responsibly (we read all their texts which they are aware of and most of their iPad use is in an open area when we are around). I think it depends on the kid honestly - for some kids it really gets them into trouble and others not so much, but regardless of that, I would definitely not allow kids to have social media like Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, etc until 16 years old or so. I say this because my line of work is researching social media and its impact on kids and I think the biggest problems are the social media apps. Group texting for me is a case by case basis with the ability to take group texting features away if things went awry at any point.


Didn't Australia just ban social media accounts for kids under 16? I totally agree with you, but I know many do not.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 19:03     Subject: Wait til 8th
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont understand this concept. Why do so many people need to sign pledges? I believe parenting is doing whats best for your family and household. Even by individual child. One child could be mature enough at a certain age to do something that another child is not.
I'm not worried about what other families are doing. Back when my kids were young they would point out what other kids had or could do and I consistently respond that is their home and different homes have different values. Im only concerned about my house and their well being.



You're not wrong, but its not about maturity, once you had them a smart phone, you've effectively ended their childhood. Does a parent really want that for a kid 8th grade or younger?


I mean, that statement is just ridiculous. My 6th grader has my old smart phone to 1) contact her parents if plans change or when she’s home alone (no landline), and talk to her grandparents. No social media, etc. Her average usage is less than 5 minutes a day. She still plays with dolls and plays in the yard often. She’s definitely still a child, with a childhood.


That's great for your child, but the sad reality is for alot of kids, it's not like that at all.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 18:47     Subject: Wait til 8th
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont understand this concept. Why do so many people need to sign pledges? I believe parenting is doing whats best for your family and household. Even by individual child. One child could be mature enough at a certain age to do something that another child is not.
I'm not worried about what other families are doing. Back when my kids were young they would point out what other kids had or could do and I consistently respond that is their home and different homes have different values. Im only concerned about my house and their well being.



You're not wrong, but its not about maturity, once you had them a smart phone, you've effectively ended their childhood. Does a parent really want that for a kid 8th grade or younger?


I mean, that statement is just ridiculous. My 6th grader has my old smart phone to 1) contact her parents if plans change or when she’s home alone (no landline), and talk to her grandparents. No social media, etc. Her average usage is less than 5 minutes a day. She still plays with dolls and plays in the yard often. She’s definitely still a child, with a childhood.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 18:44     Subject: Wait til 8th
Anonymous wrote:Yep, let kids be kids as long as possible.


+1000 NP
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 15:18     Subject: Wait til 8th
We are pretty much the only middle school parents we know whose kids don’t have a phone or watch - our children do have iPads at home and have demonstrated over time that they can use them very responsibly (we read all their texts which they are aware of and most of their iPad use is in an open area when we are around). I think it depends on the kid honestly - for some kids it really gets them into trouble and others not so much, but regardless of that, I would definitely not allow kids to have social media like Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, etc until 16 years old or so. I say this because my line of work is researching social media and its impact on kids and I think the biggest problems are the social media apps. Group texting for me is a case by case basis with the ability to take group texting features away if things went awry at any point.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 15:12     Subject: Wait til 8th
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont understand this concept. Why do so many people need to sign pledges? I believe parenting is doing whats best for your family and household. Even by individual child. One child could be mature enough at a certain age to do something that another child is not.
I'm not worried about what other families are doing. Back when my kids were young they would point out what other kids had or could do and I consistently respond that is their home and different homes have different values. Im only concerned about my house and their well being.



You're not wrong, but its not about maturity, once you had them a smart phone, you've effectively ended their childhood. Does a parent really want that for a kid 8th grade or younger?

It's not the phone, but the unfettered access to the Internet and social media. Plenty of kids end up in the same place with an iPad.



That's true, I still think it's better to not go down that rabbit hole at all though.


+1000
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 15:00     Subject: Wait til 8th
Friend of mines kid in 7th sent a video of herself vaping to my kid. Friend took kids phone away as a consequence but the kid was still messaging thru instagram on her laptop. So no real consequence.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 14:52     Subject: Wait til 8th
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont understand this concept. Why do so many people need to sign pledges? I believe parenting is doing whats best for your family and household. Even by individual child. One child could be mature enough at a certain age to do something that another child is not.
I'm not worried about what other families are doing. Back when my kids were young they would point out what other kids had or could do and I consistently respond that is their home and different homes have different values. Im only concerned about my house and their well being.



You're not wrong, but its not about maturity, once you had them a smart phone, you've effectively ended their childhood. Does a parent really want that for a kid 8th grade or younger?

It's not the phone, but the unfettered access to the Internet and social media. Plenty of kids end up in the same place with an iPad.



That's true, I still think it's better to not go down that rabbit hole at all though.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 14:38     Subject: Wait til 8th
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont understand this concept. Why do so many people need to sign pledges? I believe parenting is doing whats best for your family and household. Even by individual child. One child could be mature enough at a certain age to do something that another child is not.
I'm not worried about what other families are doing. Back when my kids were young they would point out what other kids had or could do and I consistently respond that is their home and different homes have different values. Im only concerned about my house and their well being.



You're not wrong, but its not about maturity, once you had them a smart phone, you've effectively ended their childhood. Does a parent really want that for a kid 8th grade or younger?

It's not the phone, but the unfettered access to the Internet and social media. Plenty of kids end up in the same place with an iPad.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 14:35     Subject: Wait til 8th
Anonymous wrote:I dont understand this concept. Why do so many people need to sign pledges? I believe parenting is doing whats best for your family and household. Even by individual child. One child could be mature enough at a certain age to do something that another child is not.
I'm not worried about what other families are doing. Back when my kids were young they would point out what other kids had or could do and I consistently respond that is their home and different homes have different values. Im only concerned about my house and their well being.



You're not wrong, but its not about maturity, once you had them a smart phone, you've effectively ended their childhood. Does a parent really want that for a kid 8th grade or younger?
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 09:31     Subject: Wait til 8th
I dont understand this concept. Why do so many people need to sign pledges? I believe parenting is doing whats best for your family and household. Even by individual child. One child could be mature enough at a certain age to do something that another child is not.
I'm not worried about what other families are doing. Back when my kids were young they would point out what other kids had or could do and I consistently respond that is their home and different homes have different values. Im only concerned about my house and their well being.
Anonymous
Post 11/23/2025 08:00     Subject: Wait til 8th
Yes but I don’t think it’s enough. I wish there was “Wait Until 5th,” for having home iPads and video games.