Anonymous wrote:I failed at my job. I thought I was doing fine for years, and then a new coworker came in very strong and told me I was doing everything wrong and I was absolutely awful at my job. It became a big HR issue. The person left to deal with some problems unrelated to me...But it shook me to the point I never recovered from it, lasted an extra year and then entirely switched career, to something low pay and low contact because tbh I just do not trust people anymore. I don't have a horrible life at all, I'd even say it's great, but professionally it has been a total failure.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is recently separated from her husband… I feel like a complete and utter failure. I’m so embarrassed and feel so stupid for messing up the most important decision of my life.

But I’m trying to re-evaluate my failure and look at it instead as information or am experiment from which I gathered important data and information with which I can make better decisions.

I’d like to hear stories from others about failure. What do you do that failed? How did you learn from it and turn your life around? Or did it destroy you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is recently separated from her husband… I feel like a complete and utter failure. I’m so embarrassed and feel so stupid for messing up the most important decision of my life.

But I’m trying to re-evaluate my failure and look at it instead as information or am experiment from which I gathered important data and information with which I can make better decisions.

I’d like to hear stories from others about failure. What do you do that failed? How did you learn from it and turn your life around? Or did it destroy you?

Hey, darling, I know you're asking people to commiserate with you, but if you're open to some unsolicited advice, keep reading...

Life’s not a straight shot down a sunlit highway. It’s switchbacks, dirt roads, and a couple potholes big enough to swallow your front tire if you’re not looking. Separation? Divorce? That's not a verdict on your worth. That’s just one chapter in the big ol’ mystery novel of you.

See, people think failure is this big red X stamped on your forehead. But failure, real, honest-to-God failure, is just a data point. Information. Like you said: an experiment. It’s the universe handing you a field report on what didn’t work so you can carve out what will.

I’ve fallen on my face more times than I care to count. Jobs I shouldn’t have taken. Friends I trusted who weren’t meant to ride shotgun. Days I woke up and didn’t recognize the man in the mirror. But every time I thought the story was over…turns out it was just the midpoint.

You didn’t mess up your life. You lived it. Boldly. And now you’ve got more clarity, more courage, and more truth than you had before.

So here’s the thing:
Don’t call yourself stupid. Don’t call yourself a failure. Call yourself a work in progress. Call yourself unfinished. Call yourself someone who’s still learning the shape of her own heart.

And you want stories? Everybody’s got a failure story. Some folks let it bury them. And some, the ones who learn, who listen, who keep going, they use it as fertilizer. Grow something new out of it. Something honest.

You’re not destroyed.
You’re recalibrating.
And that… that’s a beautiful place to be.

Keep living.

Love this!

Anonymous wrote:You are ok. Probably more than ok.

I have failed sooooo many times.

I studied acting undergrad, wanted to be a professional actress. Failed. Not for lack of talent and training, but because I was a personal mess. Worked as a model. Failed. Got dumped by my agency for being stupid (declined a fur show because I didn't "believe in" that, and they don't care about your beliefs lol). Went to law school, did really well, got a great job, did really well, found it too tiring and quit after 7 years. So essentially ... Failed. Went to a think tank. Couldn't handle the stress. Hated it. So Failed there. Left to go to grad school. Fancied myself a talented writer. Got my MFA ten years ago. No book. Not yet. Probably not ever. Failed again.

Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail...

But at the same time it has somehow worked out. Life is failure. If you aren't failing, you aren't doing anything of value. What did Becket say? "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

Anonymous wrote:Every day I fail. I fail to get my steps in. I fail to get my work done — to get that project finished and that other project started. I fail to be the beatific warm mother full of grace that I want to be. I fail to go to yoga. I fail to return that text, and that email, and that phone call. All of these quotidian failures add up to a cumulative failure