Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg give me a break op your kid knows your marriage isn’t good

Get a divorce

Seriously. Think about what you’re modeling. Stay in a fake, garbage marriage where everyone knows you/your spouse is unhappy, but pretend not to be?

Such integrity.

Anonymous wrote:If you wait till college, unless they know it well in advance, you make their childhood seem like a lie and you make the home they knew vanish. My DH was the one whose parents drove up to tell him in his dorm room.
I never have pried into or learned details of what ensued but I never met his father and only met his mother three times in our 30 years of marriage before they died. He did see his mother for lunch on his own a few times and visited her in hospice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are the stories where kids were happy that they finally divorced? They say it’s hard at any stage.

I had friends in their late 20s and then anytime in our 30s that were happy their parents divorced.

But… now that we’re late 30s, my friend has to take her parents to doctors appts when they need a second person (even eye doctors where they dilate your eyes). She had to help them recover from hip replacements since there’s no one else. It’s been rough on her having two parents like this and it takes away from her own kids. They fight at every holiday too and can’t be in the same room. She mostly spends holidays with her in-laws that have an intact family where no one argues.

Anonymous wrote:If you wait till college, unless they know it well in advance, you make their childhood seem like a lie and you make the home they knew vanish. My DH was the one whose parents drove up to tell him in his dorm room.
I never have pried into or learned details of what ensued but I never met his father and only met his mother three times in our 30 years of marriage before they died. He did see his mother for lunch on his own a few times and visited her in hospice.

Anonymous wrote:Where are the stories where kids were happy that they finally divorced? They say it’s hard at any stage.

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend's parents did when he was a freshman. It really frucked him up - he felt like his entire childhood had been a lie, and he distrusted both his parents, etc.

Anonymous wrote:My separated spouse and I are actually working things out now that the kids are off to college. We had been separated for almost 10 years but never dated or saw anyone else. Just buried ourselves in work and kids.
I am pretty convinced that if we didn't separate, we would have ended up hating each other while under the same roof and then divorcing now.
There were family deaths in the past few years. That coupled with the separation - we're different now. I guess more accepting and when family seem to be dying left and right, priorities are different.

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is selfish boomer behavior. What are the reasons , are they legitimate like abuse or gay if not it's just arrogance and selfishness

and we’re approaching the time of year where she is shocked, just shocked that we don’t want her around for the holidays. Like I would expose my kids to that toxicity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure it's hard, but the kid should be really thankful not to go through 50/50 custody BS. While they may feel untethered, at least they will have a choice of which parent to stay with, completely on their terms, instead of the misery of going back and forth while juggling HS life.

I don’t think custody matters in HS-they can still chose

It can matter immensely. My ex remarried and suddenly wanted 50/50 because his new wife wanted to eliminate CS so they could pay for fertility treatments.

Suddenly, he asked to take all of the time that he hadn’t taken in years and we had filled with activities. That’s a huge disruption for teens.

Some judges will listen to a 14-16 year old. Others will say the kid has to tough it out.