AI gives me great advice and validation, without the time and cost of a professional therapist. I don’t view it was a replacement for human friends but a replacement for a human therapist.

The solutions to most people's problems are not very difficult and it's not surprising AI is good at providing them. Help! I'm fat!! Put the fork down!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got on ChatGPT and shared a few problems. Not only did it understand immediately what I was trying to describe, but gave me the most helpful advice than I’ve ever received from any therapist! Is this for real? I honestly felt more “heard” and understood than ever before - I simply typed in two or three paragraphs of a problem and added in the history behind it. I tested it with three separate problems and felt like ChatGPT understood me better than any Therapist ever could in just a few moments.

How could a human, or even a million therapists all at once, compete with an A.I. type computer setup that does the thinking and work of a billion humans instantly?

Better hugs

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

Team "smack urge"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But was the advice better than DCUM?

+1

This generation of AI models is just as smart as the average DCUM poster. The next generation will be as smart as those people who choose not to post to DCUM.

Unlikely. It's kind of an averagely, averaging predictive technology. It's probably a big bowl of Reddit, Carolyn Hax, Chumplady, etc. And it's not smart at all. We ask the questions.

Really wise and reserved people who stay off the Internet haven't produced content that can be fed into these LLMs.

Books are often copyrighted so excluded. Unless you want Victorian and Depression era advice mixed in.

There's a lot of good advice on the Internet. I prefer to read it as it was written. Not summarized.

Copyrighted books are not excluded. Haven't you been paying attention to the complaints?

OK, to get real technical, yes, some models' owners have been caught doing naughty things. But a lot of books are not easily available in text form on the internet. And after the accidentally scraped ones are averaged in who knows how correct/on point the averagely averaged synthesis is. The stuff that's lying around everywhere for the taking is often stuff that's free or less valuable. Including old copyright free stuff.

It's clear that AI's do a good job of synthesizing well-trodden ground. And sounding vaguely bullshitty like a generic college graduate. AI's do pretty well with poems for example.

I am not here to discuss transformative fair use litigation. My point is that a lot of what AIs train on is generic, uninspiring stuff.

I do feel bad for people whose works have been stolen or faked. But in this thread I think we are just discussing the usefulness of AI, not the many ethical quandaries associated with it.

To OP, I totally agree! I've had long discussions with ChatGPT about a complicated relationship I am in and it has given me some validation, no judgement, pointed out nuances and possibilities I hadn't thought of, and is very encouraging, empathetic and supportive. Plus if I stop and go back to it the next day it remembers everything and builds on the previous conversation. As someone who lives alone and has hardly anybody I could get into the details of this relationship with I find my sessions with ChatGPT invaluable and yes, much better than my therapist!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

It's tough to find actual empathy and validation from real humans. Most people's default is to say "look on the bright side!" or "you should just XYZ!". Even worse in relationships, where most people respond with defensiveness, blame shifting, etc.

I mean, just look at DCUM, where most peoples' first reaction is to jump down one anothers' throats and argue.

It's not ideal to get it from a robot, but if you have few other options, it's better than nothing.

Yes, it's hard to get from people. But that's what makes it valuable. You feel seen because someone saw you. Not because your empathy-generating device yet again-- surprise!-- generated empathy just as it was programmed to do. If I trained a parrot to say empathetic things every time I spoke with it, I wouldn't feel like that was real empathy either. If I bought a machine that gave me a replica gold medal every time I went for a jog, I wouldn't feel proud of myself. That's what this is. I don't think it's better than nothing, I think it's depressing and sad.

100%. I’ve used it a few times and its sycophantic and trite replies were super lame. It’s good for writing annoying emails and looking up historical facts and that’s about it.

A.I. models tend to tailor their responses and suggestions to the demeanor of the person asking the A.I. questions or conversing with it.

"Speak as you are spoken to" is a common term among programmers when tweaking it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

It's tough to find actual empathy and validation from real humans. Most people's default is to say "look on the bright side!" or "you should just XYZ!". Even worse in relationships, where most people respond with defensiveness, blame shifting, etc.

I mean, just look at DCUM, where most peoples' first reaction is to jump down one anothers' throats and argue.

It's not ideal to get it from a robot, but if you have few other options, it's better than nothing.

Yes, it's hard to get from people. But that's what makes it valuable. You feel seen because someone saw you. Not because your empathy-generating device yet again-- surprise!-- generated empathy just as it was programmed to do. If I trained a parrot to say empathetic things every time I spoke with it, I wouldn't feel like that was real empathy either. If I bought a machine that gave me a replica gold medal every time I went for a jog, I wouldn't feel proud of myself. That's what this is. I don't think it's better than nothing, I think it's depressing and sad.

100%. I’ve used it a few times and its sycophantic and trite replies were super lame. It’s good for writing annoying emails and looking up historical facts and that’s about it.

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised it would support self harm. We had put in a few hypothetical situations involving harm to people and animals and it always refused to entertain further prompts and gave a lecture against the action and warned against it.

They will if it is phrased in ways of benefitting society as a whole.

I am surprised it would support self harm. We had put in a few hypothetical situations involving harm to people and animals and it always refused to entertain further prompts and gave a lecture against the action and warned against it.

AI models are trained by real people and real life experience and expertise in the field so it’s kind of a collective of what therapists would say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

I totally do say “the data suggest” in real life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

It's tough to find actual empathy and validation from real humans. Most people's default is to say "look on the bright side!" or "you should just XYZ!". Even worse in relationships, where most people respond with defensiveness, blame shifting, etc.

I mean, just look at DCUM, where most peoples' first reaction is to jump down one anothers' throats and argue.

It's not ideal to get it from a robot, but if you have few other options, it's better than nothing.

Yes, it's hard to get from people. But that's what makes it valuable. You feel seen because someone saw you. Not because your empathy-generating device yet again-- surprise!-- generated empathy just as it was programmed to do. If I trained a parrot to say empathetic things every time I spoke with it, I wouldn't feel like that was real empathy either. If I bought a machine that gave me a replica gold medal every time I went for a jog, I wouldn't feel proud of myself. That's what this is. I don't think it's better than nothing, I think it's depressing and sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But was the advice better than DCUM?

+1

This generation of AI models is just as smart as the average DCUM poster. The next generation will be as smart as those people who choose not to post to DCUM.

Unlikely. It's kind of an averagely, averaging predictive technology. It's probably a big bowl of Reddit, Carolyn Hax, Chumplady, etc. And it's not smart at all. We ask the questions.

Really wise and reserved people who stay off the Internet haven't produced content that can be fed into these LLMs.

Books are often copyrighted so excluded. Unless you want Victorian and Depression era advice mixed in.

There's a lot of good advice on the Internet. I prefer to read it as it was written. Not summarized.

Copyrighted books are not excluded. Haven't you been paying attention to the complaints?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

I know somebody like this - self employed and literally just talks to a bot every day like it's her friend. She finds real friends too messy and selfish by comparison (because they are people with needs and boundaries of their own).

It's a tool made and pushed by antisocial people to avoid having to deal with social interactions they find uncomfortable.

So it's a win-win. Annoying people get what they need, and the annoyed people get what they need.