Once, when I was about nine, I was out with my aunt and we were going into a store at the same time as a young woman. The young woman made a show of opening and holding the door for my aunt and said, “Age before beauty.” To which my aunt responded, “Pearls before swine,” and swept us into the store.

She was so sharp.

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you! I've had sweaters with higher IQs!

"I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes. You'd know what a drag it is to see you"

Newsom’s latest insult for Trump made me laugh. Something like I govern the 4th largest economy and you have the 4th largest cankles”

My wife’s cooking is so bad, we say our prayers after dinner.

If there was a Survivor for stupid, you’d be the first one voted off the island!

- Spoken by DS’s friend to an extremely annoying classmate in 7th grade. Both DS and his friend got in trouble for it. Rightly so, but I couldn’t help laughing to myself when I heard it.

I always thought Angelica Huston in Ever After was stone cold.

Danielle (Cinderella): Was there a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you loved me at all?
Stepmother: How can anyone love a pebble in their shoe?

Anonymous wrote:Friends. Does one not understand the difference between colloquialisms and insults?

Sometimes they overlap.

Friends. Does one not understand the difference between colloquialisms and insults?

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings; your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous PERVERT!

Senator Kennedy has the best insults:
"she's the reason there are instructions on shampoo bottles" and "I'm not saying he's the dumbest person in the world, but he better hope the dumbest person doesn't die" are 2 of my favorites.

Anonymous wrote:“You’re a virgin who can’t drive”

That was way harsh.

Anonymous wrote:I recently heard "You're dumber than a day-old donut," and maybe it's the alliteration, but I am really loving it. Your turn!

Ima go with "were you born stupid or dropped on your head as a baby?"

“You’re a virgin who can’t drive”