DP here. Inspired by this thread, I just texted all gifting friends and family that we will not be doing any gift exchanges going forward but only sending out holiday cards. I am starting to get sad messages back from some but I am determined to hold the line. Thanks DCUM!

Anonymous wrote:You can't control what your sister does. You can change how you react to it.

"Sis, we're not buying gifts this year. We're going to give to the food bank instead."

And if she buys gifts for you anyway, say thank you and move on.

I would not say "thank you" when someone violates a boundary you set and feeds their own addiction. Do you say "thank you" when your alcoholic cousin pulls out the wine? I would just calmly remind her you already said "no gifts" and give it back. Then move on. If she insists, you calmly keep the boundary.

Right now tell her Amy, with the economy so uncertain we are only going to be buying Christmas gifts for the kids this year. Please don't send us gifts, it will make me feel very sad that I cannot reciprocate.

Then, DO NOT BUY HER GIFTS