Anonymous wrote:We don't let our 14 year old daughter use any type of social media. We know how dangerous it can be and think she's too young anyway. We just found out she had been using Instagram online on her phone. She had made an account, posted stories and has a lot of followers that aren't any of her school friends. They are mutual connections that she's never even met before. Husband and I are livid and we don't know what to do and how to punish her. Has anyone gone through the same or any suggestions?

It's not really a big deal being that site. Now if she were on discord or reddit, then you might have something to be upset about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lose phone for a month, lock it down further including preventing her from installing any apps.

Yes, I get a request anytime a kid wants to download an app. I guess you can do some things through a browser still though.

I would read up and put in additional controls and delete any apps that aren’t necessary, including the internet, for a month at least.

Also, had you previously discussed Instagram and said no or was it not discussed?

PP here. Sorry, I missed that she is 14. I think that what I said above stands but part of the discussion should be what she needs to do to show trust so you allow her on social media. Having an account in high school seems very reasonable to me. Middle school is young. And it’s only so long as I can follow her and she’s only friending people she knows.

Anonymous wrote:Lose phone for a month, lock it down further including preventing her from installing any apps.

Yes, I get a request anytime a kid wants to download an app. I guess you can do some things through a browser still though.

I would read up and put in additional controls and delete any apps that aren’t necessary, including the internet, for a month at least.

Also, had you previously discussed Instagram and said no or was it not discussed?

I would advise you and your husband to sit her down and talk to her about what you have found. Tell her how disappointed you are that she went behind your back and did something that you had expressly prohibited her from doing. That she has lost your trust and that it is going to take some time to rebuild it. Then tell her that you love her and that whether she likes it or not, you all get to set the guidelines/rules for the household until she is an adult. Tell her your reasons for not allowing her to have an IG account...again. Talk to her about when you might be willing to revisit the idea of IG when she is older...perhaps 15, 16...whatever you decide. But you need to emphasize how disappointed you both are in this decision that she made. You should make her delete it immediately and you need to let her know that you might be spot checking her phone for some time. Lastly, decide what you both think is a fair punishment for her betraying your trust. That is the real issue here. You want her to be able to come talk to you and tell you the truth about where she is going *(as she gets older) and what she is doing. She needs to understand that having an IG account when you prohibited it is a problem, but the real problem is breaking trust with you all. As upset as you are right now, this could actually be a good thing (okay, maybe I am reaching here). She is still young and you have a great opportunity to talk to her about the family dynamics and the importance of being able to trust her. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catfish her, trick her into sending semi nudes, and then drop the bomb on her.

Good lord. This shows how the adults in ths room need supervision.

The adults (and teens) on Instagram are already doing this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't let our 14 year old daughter use any type of social media. We know how dangerous it can be and think she's too young anyway. We just found out she had been using Instagram online on her phone. She had made an account, posted stories and has a lot of followers that aren't any of her school friends. They are mutual connections that she's never even met before. Husband and I are livid and we don't know what to do and how to punish her. Has anyone gone through the same or any suggestions?

I suggest beating her.

omg you are insane! I hope you don't actually mean this I feel so bad for your children

Corporal punishment is highly effective. My children are thriving adults now.