Really thought this was going to be about limiting his intake of the lentils so the vegetarian got enough.

They both can eat unlimited lentils and he gets another dish to eat his sister doesn’t so if anything it’s unfair to her!

This is fine in theory but how much meat are you serving for their one portion? 4 oz is kind of dinky.

OP you do realize shrimp has far fewer calories than beef, right? 5

Anonymous wrote:Shrimp isn’t even that expensive compared to other animal proteins these days. We just perceive it to be because it was in the past.

I think the issue is you have a hungry growing teen and it sounds like you live in an “ingredients” house. He wants more shrimp because it’s already part of the nice hot cooked meal. He doesn’t want to be draining tuna cans! If you have meats/proteins prepped that he can just reheat, he will eat those.

I don't really like when people label themselves as a ______ family or household. I cook a lot. There is always cooked food available to the kids for snacks, or extra meals. A lot of it is things I made from scratch, or my kid who loves to cook made from scratch. But it's available to him already made. I buy some premade stuff. Ice cream is a big one. Plus they aren't little kids, they have jobs and money and the ability to buy what they want.

Anonymous wrote:How much meat exactly are you buying?

I usually plan on servings of 4 - 5 ounces of meat, and at least a second serving for the teens. So, I'll make quarter pound burgers, and the teens will get 2, or I'll buy 5 oz salmon portions, and have seconds available. The shrimp night, I think he'd eaten about 1/2 a pound of seafood when we ran out.

Plus, as I said, I'm buying other meat, so I might have a turkey or chicken sandwich meat in the fridge, and chili and breakfast burritos with sausage (and without for the vegetarian) in the freezer that just needs to be heated up.

He can’t possibly believe his sister eats as many pounds of lentils as he eats in his preferred proteins. The cost of the food is an important factor, but also, part of why she can eat as much as she wants is that she wants less than he does. When you order pizza, does she eat as many slices as he does? Of course not. Should he have to stop at whatever number of slices she stops at to make it fair?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is about sibling rivalry, not actual food. You are being reasonable.

OP here,

This kid struggles a lot with jealousy and sibling rivalry. If something is unfair I want to fix it, but I also feel like he sees favoritism when things are fair, so I just want a reality check.

I should add that we don’t eat this way every night, we solve the vegetarian/omnivore issue in other ways on other days.

He probably needs more attention and support and 1-1 time. Try approaching parenting differently.

+1. I think this might be a symptom of being one of so many kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shrimp isn’t even that expensive compared to other animal proteins these days. We just perceive it to be because it was in the past.

I think the issue is you have a hungry growing teen and it sounds like you live in an “ingredients” house. He wants more shrimp because it’s already part of the nice hot cooked meal. He doesn’t want to be draining tuna cans! If you have meats/proteins prepped that he can just reheat, he will eat those.

Where are you buying shrimp thay you don’t think it is expensive? It’s 10 times more expensive than lentils.

We are on a budget and with teenage boys we rarely served protein alone. Shrimp had to be mixed with pasta. But it’s not a great leftover food so I would pick something else

I buy it at Costco and Trader Joe’s. Yes I know it’s more expensive than lentils, but I was comparing it to animal proteins (fish, meat, chicken breasts, etc). It’s definitely 10 times tastier than lentils…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are reasonable with the protein but for reference my family of 5 with two teen boys and 1 tween boy would have 2lbs of meat protein per meal and 3 lbs of chicken. We don’t eat seafood.

5 lbs of chicken and meat?

I think they are saying either 2 pounds of red meat or 3 pounds of chicken.

Anonymous wrote:Shrimp isn’t even that expensive compared to other animal proteins these days. We just perceive it to be because it was in the past.

I think the issue is you have a hungry growing teen and it sounds like you live in an “ingredients” house. He wants more shrimp because it’s already part of the nice hot cooked meal. He doesn’t want to be draining tuna cans! If you have meats/proteins prepped that he can just reheat, he will eat those.

Where are you buying shrimp thay you don’t think it is expensive? It’s 10 times more expensive than lentils.

We are on a budget and with teenage boys we rarely served protein alone. Shrimp had to be mixed with pasta. But it’s not a great leftover food so I would pick something else

Shrimp isn’t even that expensive compared to other animal proteins these days. We just perceive it to be because it was in the past.

I think the issue is you have a hungry growing teen and it sounds like you live in an “ingredients” house. He wants more shrimp because it’s already part of the nice hot cooked meal. He doesn’t want to be draining tuna cans! If you have meats/proteins prepped that he can just reheat, he will eat those.

If two people go for several drinks, and one has club soda and the other has champagne, should they split the tab?

If the champagne person is on a budget, is it reasonable to have one glass and then switch to club soda?

This is not hard to explain. You could also illustrate your family with two meat proteins: ground beef and filet mignon served on the same night. Have a taste of filet and then switch to ground beef bc no one is entitled to unlimited filet mignon. Surely your child can understand this? That the second protein happens to be vegetarian is not a pertinent detail.

I think it is more of a sibling rivalry thing than anything, and I don’t think any household provides “as much as one wants” of more expensive items like steaks, out of season berries or whatever. Especially considering teen boy appetites.

I will say this sounds really exhausting for the cook. Can you do a hearty vegetarian meal sometimes (like meatless baked ziti + salad + garlic bread, vegetarian chili or whatever)- and then the next night do a meat centered meal (steak + potatoes + veg etc) & ask the vegetarian kid to prep his own quick protein item to substitute for the steak? Or reheat an veg protein item made in bulk? To reduce having to cook so many different things?

I’d find it stressful to trying to please everyone each night. I’m more concerned about you. 🤣 The kids sound fine and I would not entertain these complaints given you have plenty of other healthy leftovers & items to snack on.

How much meat exactly are you buying? It may sound reasonable but i understand their point.

I eat almost exclusively vegan and eat a ton of lentils. Yes, they are cheap. My teens eat a ton of meat. I can’t imagine telling them to fill up on lentils. It’s not the same.

I buy bulk chicken breasts when they are 1.99 per pound or less. They were at Giant this week. I make the entire family size package for dinner for the two kids and DH and there will be a bit of leftovers. They eat a tremendous amount of chicken.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is about sibling rivalry, not actual food. You are being reasonable.

OP here,

This kid struggles a lot with jealousy and sibling rivalry. If something is unfair I want to fix it, but I also feel like he sees favoritism when things are fair, so I just want a reality check.

I should add that we don’t eat this way every night, we solve the vegetarian/omnivore issue in other ways on other days.

He probably needs more attention and support and 1-1 time. Try approaching parenting differently.