Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 12:20     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you feel guilty about taking aid with such a large salary? It seems like you are prioritizing something like a large house, new cars, vacations, and lifestyle.


nope, I would not feel guilty and neither should anybody else. schools are free to give aid, or not, to whomever they choose and the calculus is never clear nor necessarily fair. need, legacy, merit, race, sports, and other factors are always in the mix. nobody has the right to go to any particular private school or to get aid, so debates over who is more "deserving" are not productive. if you want equal treatment, go to a public school where everyone pays exactly the same tuition, and nobody can buy their way into the inner circle and decision-making through big donations. if you want to live in the "privileged" world of private schools, you need to rise above jealousy over advantages that other families are able to get through one means or another.


đź’Ż

Excellent and realistic depiction of life in private schools.

Not entirely accurate, though. Even in public schools PTA moms buy influence through fundraising.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 12:17     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you feel guilty about taking aid with such a large salary? It seems like you are prioritizing something like a large house, new cars, vacations, and lifestyle.


nope, I would not feel guilty and neither should anybody else. schools are free to give aid, or not, to whomever they choose and the calculus is never clear nor necessarily fair. need, legacy, merit, race, sports, and other factors are always in the mix. nobody has the right to go to any particular private school or to get aid, so debates over who is more "deserving" are not productive. if you want equal treatment, go to a public school where everyone pays exactly the same tuition, and nobody can buy their way into the inner circle and decision-making through big donations. if you want to live in the "privileged" world of private schools, you need to rise above jealousy over advantages that other families are able to get through one means or another.


Do you have a moral compass?


absolutely, which is one of the reasons why I pulled my kids out of private school and they go to public. if you find the foregoing morally offensive, you probably will not be happy at private school either.


I'm not sure public schools are doing anything better. The zoning of schools is gatekeeping the better publics for the wealthier families. The admissions process at the magnet schools is also highly problematic. You can't win.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 12:09     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you feel guilty about taking aid with such a large salary? It seems like you are prioritizing something like a large house, new cars, vacations, and lifestyle.


nope, I would not feel guilty and neither should anybody else. schools are free to give aid, or not, to whomever they choose and the calculus is never clear nor necessarily fair. need, legacy, merit, race, sports, and other factors are always in the mix. nobody has the right to go to any particular private school or to get aid, so debates over who is more "deserving" are not productive. if you want equal treatment, go to a public school where everyone pays exactly the same tuition, and nobody can buy their way into the inner circle and decision-making through big donations. if you want to live in the "privileged" world of private schools, you need to rise above jealousy over advantages that other families are able to get through one means or another.


Do you have a moral compass?


absolutely, which is one of the reasons why I pulled my kids out of private school and they go to public. if you find the foregoing morally offensive, you probably will not be happy at private school either.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 12:06     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you feel guilty about taking aid with such a large salary? It seems like you are prioritizing something like a large house, new cars, vacations, and lifestyle.


nope, I would not feel guilty and neither should anybody else. schools are free to give aid, or not, to whomever they choose and the calculus is never clear nor necessarily fair. need, legacy, merit, race, sports, and other factors are always in the mix. nobody has the right to go to any particular private school or to get aid, so debates over who is more "deserving" are not productive. if you want equal treatment, go to a public school where everyone pays exactly the same tuition, and nobody can buy their way into the inner circle and decision-making through big donations. if you want to live in the "privileged" world of private schools, you need to rise above jealousy over advantages that other families are able to get through one means or another.


Do you have a moral compass?
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 11:55     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give. OP’s financials, I would advise to stay with public for now. When kids are older you will have a much better chance of what type of school will be the best fit for them and you can take the nanny expense out of the equation. Even if you were awarded aid now, that does not guarantee the same level of aid year over year and you are looking at twelve years of tuition before college—for two kids.

We did the math and figured we could stretch for MS and HS if no aid was given (and it wasn’t).


Or look at Catholic k-8 schools. Parochial schools in the area are about $10k a year and are full of families in your income bracket (and lower income brackets).


OP here again. My feeling right now is that we would be unlikely to go all the way to HS and I don't feel that's necessary, but maybe I would feel differently once we have a HS-aged kid. We are not aiming at Ivies. I'm also inclined to think right now that alternative programs like Montessori or Waldorf may be more our speed (yes, I know they are very different) and possibly more affordable, but then you wade into the question of whether they are "worth it."
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 11:41     Subject: Financial aid
If high schools want your kid enough they will find the money. Some upper middle class kids get aid at the Big3 and similar and even pay next to nothing if the kids are a top athlete and top student.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 11:36     Subject: Re:Financial aid
It varies quite a bit depending on how well off the school is. STA gives more aid than NCS, for example.Keep in mind that tuition will rise about 5% each year. Sometimes FA keeps up, sometimes it doesn’t.

School quality also makes a difference in whether it’s worth it. Eg, I would not pay $60,000 a year for Maret but would for STA Upper School. STA Lower School is not worth it. Only sent our sons then because the odds of getting in at 9th are minute.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 11:33     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:Give. OP’s financials, I would advise to stay with public for now. When kids are older you will have a much better chance of what type of school will be the best fit for them and you can take the nanny expense out of the equation. Even if you were awarded aid now, that does not guarantee the same level of aid year over year and you are looking at twelve years of tuition before college—for two kids.

We did the math and figured we could stretch for MS and HS if no aid was given (and it wasn’t).


Or look at Catholic k-8 schools. Parochial schools in the area are about $10k a year and are full of families in your income bracket (and lower income brackets).
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 11:28     Subject: Re:Financial aid
Questions/answers like this is what has stopped me from giving to our school's annual fund.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 11:22     Subject: Re:Financial aid
You might get some, probably 10-20% off. But why not go public? It's a long road to sign up for 13+ years of private school on that income, especially when you have two. The majority of places where people who make what you make live have good K-5 schools.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 11:21     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:Would you feel guilty about taking aid with such a large salary? It seems like you are prioritizing something like a large house, new cars, vacations, and lifestyle.


nope, I would not feel guilty and neither should anybody else. schools are free to give aid, or not, to whomever they choose and the calculus is never clear nor necessarily fair. need, legacy, merit, race, sports, and other factors are always in the mix. nobody has the right to go to any particular private school or to get aid, so debates over who is more "deserving" are not productive. if you want equal treatment, go to a public school where everyone pays exactly the same tuition, and nobody can buy their way into the inner circle and decision-making through big donations. if you want to live in the "privileged" world of private schools, you need to rise above jealousy over advantages that other families are able to get through one means or another.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 11:12     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you feel guilty about taking aid with such a large salary? It seems like you are prioritizing something like a large house, new cars, vacations, and lifestyle.


OP here. We have a small to regular sized house, a modest car, rarely go on vacation, and do eat out but that’s about it. Our major expense is our nanny. We shop at Aldi.

That said, I’m delighted that DCUM thinks we are upper middle class. You are right and it makes me feel like we made it! But our day to day is far from luxurious.


I hope they offer you something, perhaps less than you want but something to help. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 10:58     Subject: Financial aid
Anonymous wrote:Would you feel guilty about taking aid with such a large salary? It seems like you are prioritizing something like a large house, new cars, vacations, and lifestyle.


OP here. We have a small to regular sized house, a modest car, rarely go on vacation, and do eat out but that’s about it. Our major expense is our nanny. We shop at Aldi.

That said, I’m delighted that DCUM thinks we are upper middle class. You are right and it makes me feel like we made it! But our day to day is far from luxurious.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 09:47     Subject: Financial aid
Would you feel guilty about taking aid with such a large salary? It seems like you are prioritizing something like a large house, new cars, vacations, and lifestyle.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 09:16     Subject: Financial aid
You shouldn't receive aid, but I guess it's worth a shot if they really want your kid.