Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

I’ll admit I didn’t have great luck in college but a lot of the men at my college dated women from the local women’s colleges. I think they actually did better than we did with the guys since a lot of the guys preferred girls they didn’t have to see in their Monday morning classes looking rough and unmade up.

But this narrative of girls at big schools being unable to find guys seems generally insane to me — what are these guys doing? Are they all hooking up with the same small number of girls? My teen son and his friends seem to date.

what kind of college?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

I’ll admit I didn’t have great luck in college but a lot of the men at my college dated women from the local women’s colleges. I think they actually did better than we did with the guys since a lot of the guys preferred girls they didn’t have to see in their Monday morning classes looking rough and unmade up.

But this narrative of girls at big schools being unable to find guys seems generally insane to me — what are these guys doing? Are they all hooking up with the same small number of girls? My teen son and his friends seem to date.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's really much different than it's ever been at Wellesley. I'm a straight, white woman and most of my friends there were straight.
Waaaay back in the 90s when I went there, we used to joke that some of our classmates were on the "4 year plan", dating women until graduation. It was a thing.

+1. I was at a LAC in the 90s and bi experimentation among women was really popular. All of them ended up married to straight men and having children. I have no idea if any of them consider themselves to be bi now.

The 4-5 girls I know who have matriculated in the past 2 years have all been straight. I went to Wellesley, graduated in the early 2000s and had a close group of friends who were all straight, but I also had friends who identified LGBT. My close friends - we're all happily married and getting ready to send our kids to college.

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

This is not true at all, at least according to my student and his social life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

Is her school mostly female?

No, maybe 55/45 female? The same as almost every state school and many other schools.

I know some straight girls attending women's colleges. Most of them are either UMC, who want to go for the prestige and campus environment and may not want to deal with extra admissions competition at coed LACs. I also know some first gen girls who lived locally to the colleges they attended and got good financial/merit aid. Then there are girls who are in long-term relationships with high-school boyfriends (maybe they wanted an environment where they could focus on academics and monogamy).

Men have just opted out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

Is her school mostly female?

A large state school? Hardly.

Kind of trollish, but yes, of course. There are also non-straight women, of course. But also worth keeping in mind that the percent of kids who identify as non-straight at Yale and Brown, for instance, is 1/3. Having a large lgbt population is not unique to women’s colleges.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter and all of her college friends from a Seven Sisters are straight. Graduated in 2024.

Which one? Unlikely to have been Smith or Wellesley.

Untrue. DD is a straight student at Smith and has many straight friends there. They socialize with students at Amherst, UMass, and Hampshire.

Anonymous wrote:A relative of mine teaches at Smith. She says it is most students are LBGTQ.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

Is her school mostly female?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not different from any other elite schools. Kids don’t date any more whether they go to ivies or Wellesley. They are all so career focused now. In co-ed schools, girls still hang out with girls, and boys hang out with boys. No one has time for relationships or even hookups.

True. I have a daughter in a large public uni. It’s really hard to find guys. She is funny and objectively attractive but has been wholly unsuccessful (despite a lot of effort about which I feel like I have heard every detail).

This is also my daughter's experience too at a large state school. She is pretty, smart, thin but no luck with attracting any male interest. She has a pack of 12 close friends and they are all the same--no dating , no hooking up, no attention from guys and they are all objectively beautiful. So they continue to live their best life and have a lot of fun together.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's really much different than it's ever been at Wellesley. I'm a straight, white woman and most of my friends there were straight.
Waaaay back in the 90s when I went there, we used to joke that some of our classmates were on the "4 year plan", dating women until graduation. It was a thing.

Yes, I went there in the 90s. Lots of LUGs. IYKYK.