Anonymous
Post 10/27/2025 09:59     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son went to a very intense, high-achieving private HS and tells me he feels like Brown, where he is a freshman, is not quite intense enough for his tastes (and he is taking 5 rather 4 classes, all STEM, many with sophomores and even juniors): very soft curves, grade inflation, etc. I know that confirms a cliché but this is his experience. His close friend from HS is at Princeton, which is quite different: strict curves, Cs common, etc. I suppose the Brown kids are happy, the P kids demoralized?


My daughter is having a similar experience at Brown but kind of relishing in it at this point. She also came from a very intense high school. I think the open curriculum contributes to the more relaxed environment as well, as she has friends who are struggling a bit at Columbia and MIT but they are mainly taking core classes that they wouldn’t have chosen of their own volition.


I really wish colleges would get rid of any concept of core classes. It's college and kids are an adults. A college could lay out what they think is a good pathway for a student and include core class requirements...but the kid could either take them or not.

9 out of 10 times kids are trying to just find the easiest/least work/easiest grading professor for the core classes where they have no interest. I just don't get it.


Do you even see the irony in what you wrote here? Are they kids or adults?

Anonymous
Post 10/27/2025 09:26     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son went to a very intense, high-achieving private HS and tells me he feels like Brown, where he is a freshman, is not quite intense enough for his tastes (and he is taking 5 rather 4 classes, all STEM, many with sophomores and even juniors): very soft curves, grade inflation, etc. I know that confirms a cliché but this is his experience. His close friend from HS is at Princeton, which is quite different: strict curves, Cs common, etc. I suppose the Brown kids are happy, the P kids demoralized?


My daughter is having a similar experience at Brown but kind of relishing in it at this point. She also came from a very intense high school. I think the open curriculum contributes to the more relaxed environment as well, as she has friends who are struggling a bit at Columbia and MIT but they are mainly taking core classes that they wouldn’t have chosen of their own volition.


I really wish colleges would get rid of any concept of core classes. It's college and kids are an adults. A college could lay out what they think is a good pathway for a student and include core class requirements...but the kid could either take them or not.

9 out of 10 times kids are trying to just find the easiest/least work/easiest grading professor for the core classes where they have no interest. I just don't get it.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2025 09:18     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:My son went to a very intense, high-achieving private HS and tells me he feels like Brown, where he is a freshman, is not quite intense enough for his tastes (and he is taking 5 rather 4 classes, all STEM, many with sophomores and even juniors): very soft curves, grade inflation, etc. I know that confirms a cliché but this is his experience. His close friend from HS is at Princeton, which is quite different: strict curves, Cs common, etc. I suppose the Brown kids are happy, the P kids demoralized?


My daughter is having a similar experience at Brown but kind of relishing in it at this point. She also came from a very intense high school. I think the open curriculum contributes to the more relaxed environment as well, as she has friends who are struggling a bit at Columbia and MIT but they are mainly taking core classes that they wouldn’t have chosen of their own volition.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2025 09:17     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:My son went to a very intense, high-achieving private HS and tells me he feels like Brown, where he is a freshman, is not quite intense enough for his tastes (and he is taking 5 rather 4 classes, all STEM, many with sophomores and even juniors): very soft curves, grade inflation, etc. I know that confirms a cliché but this is his experience. His close friend from HS is at Princeton, which is quite different: strict curves, Cs common, etc. I suppose the Brown kids are happy, the P kids demoralized?


Very old info but my dh went to a super intense private HS and then coasted at Brown for four years. Didn’t get much out of college.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2025 09:06     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you’re bored and can’t find something to do on those campuses, that is a you problem. There are a million things to do. Join a club. Try out for an arts group. Go to a sporting event. Play intramurals. Do some community service.


It's not boredom, it's that the workload is crushing. There's not much time to do things.
Just read the tons of articles about students using CharGPT to do their work- yes even at Ivies- in addition to the disproportionate amount of time they spend on job hunting and extracurriculars. The workload is nothing like it used to be.


chatgpt would not help for my kids ivy midterms which are 85-90% of the grade.
Professors are finding ways to mitigate the cheating.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2025 01:54     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

My son went to a very intense, high-achieving private HS and tells me he feels like Brown, where he is a freshman, is not quite intense enough for his tastes (and he is taking 5 rather 4 classes, all STEM, many with sophomores and even juniors): very soft curves, grade inflation, etc. I know that confirms a cliché but this is his experience. His close friend from HS is at Princeton, which is quite different: strict curves, Cs common, etc. I suppose the Brown kids are happy, the P kids demoralized?
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 21:29     Subject: Re:Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My dd is a sophomore transfer at Cornell. Loves the academics. Really struggling with finding community and connecting with others. The weekends are hard. She’s an outgoing kid and easily connects with others. It’s just really hard. She said that everyone is studying all the time. She’s working hard, but knows how to balance it with down time. It’s hard to find others to take breaks with. We’ve been encouraging her to go join “fun” clubs.

I think she’s going to be okay and will find her people. But yes, it’s hard right now.


Cornell is a very very cliquey school socially. Did she rush this fall?


No. Like I said, I’m sure it’s all going to be fine. I think that it’s just a little harder for transfers. Not impossible. We’re going up for parents weekend on Friday. I’ll get a better sense of what’s going on.


Parent here. I was a sophomore transfer and struggled too at an OOS public. I think that’s normal.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 20:41     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:We have a freshman at Penn who has friends at a couple of different ivies as well as Uchicago. They are all doing ok, socializing, in clubs/arts, challenging classes is the hardest to adjust to! Parents weekend was great too

+1. Also have a freshman at Penn. Kid is super busy and happy. Not getting much sleep but kid is not complaining. Classes are challenging, lots of parties, outings with friends, clubs are active. Definitely work hard, play hard with motivated kids who are very engaged in school/activities/social stuff. There is a lot going on and so many opportunities.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 20:34     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:It can be a difficult experience. You work so hard to get there and then everyone is super competitive and vying for the same things. There will be fun parts along the way but the overall experience isn't best described, IMO, as "fun." I made really good friends though and that helps.


Yes. Rewarding and valuable is not fun all the time, or even most of the time. It pays off though.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 20:31     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you’re bored and can’t find something to do on those campuses, that is a you problem. There are a million things to do. Join a club. Try out for an arts group. Go to a sporting event. Play intramurals. Do some community service.


It's not boredom, it's that the workload is crushing. There's not much time to do things.
Just read the tons of articles about students using CharGPT to do their work- yes even at Ivies- in addition to the disproportionate amount of time they spend on job hunting and extracurriculars. The workload is nothing like it used to be.


chatgpt would not help for my kids ivy midterms which are 85-90% of the grade.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 20:30     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you’re bored and can’t find something to do on those campuses, that is a you problem. There are a million things to do. Join a club. Try out for an arts group. Go to a sporting event. Play intramurals. Do some community service.


It's not boredom, it's that the workload is crushing. There's not much time to do things.


They adjust! We have had two go through ivies and a 3rd at another T10 nonivy. They are all like this but they adjust and find time for fun. Mine are all stem majors or econ, might vary for other areas
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 20:23     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you’re bored and can’t find something to do on those campuses, that is a you problem. There are a million things to do. Join a club. Try out for an arts group. Go to a sporting event. Play intramurals. Do some community service.


It's not boredom, it's that the workload is crushing. There's not much time to do things.
Just read the tons of articles about students using CharGPT to do their work- yes even at Ivies- in addition to the disproportionate amount of time they spend on job hunting and extracurriculars. The workload is nothing like it used to be.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 20:09     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

College is hard at first for a lot of kids. My kid at an LAC wasn't happy this time last year because she hadn't yet found her place socially. Things got better closer to Thanksgiving, then she has been doing great since then. Loves it now. So give it time, it's too early to call it.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 20:03     Subject: Re:Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My dd is a sophomore transfer at Cornell. Loves the academics. Really struggling with finding community and connecting with others. The weekends are hard. She’s an outgoing kid and easily connects with others. It’s just really hard. She said that everyone is studying all the time. She’s working hard, but knows how to balance it with down time. It’s hard to find others to take breaks with. We’ve been encouraging her to go join “fun” clubs.

I think she’s going to be okay and will find her people. But yes, it’s hard right now.


College should not be this hard.


With the grade inflation at ALL colleges, they are making it easier for the kids this generation.

High school education didn’t do a good job prepping them.

It is harder socially now than ever; that’s what’s hard.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2025 20:02     Subject: Is your Ivy freshman happy?

Anonymous wrote:If you’re bored and can’t find something to do on those campuses, that is a you problem. There are a million things to do. Join a club. Try out for an arts group. Go to a sporting event. Play intramurals. Do some community service.


It's not boredom, it's that the workload is crushing. There's not much time to do things.