Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 12:09     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that colleges want poor kids with screwed up lives.

They want mentally well adjusted kids who are prepared for college and can afford tuition. if that's how your daughter appears on paper, let them think that


I agree with you in theory, but they want *diversity* and if this appears to be a rich white kid they might put them at the bottom of the list. Or maybe the endowments will be hurting by then and it helps? Who knows.


A sob story from a rich white kid will not help them score *diversity* points.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 12:09     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
What the heck is in your head. Forget the other challenges. Have him mention his mom.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 12:05     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that colleges want poor kids with screwed up lives.

They want mentally well adjusted kids who are prepared for college and can afford tuition. if that's how your daughter appears on paper, let them think that


I agree with you in theory, but they want *diversity* and if this appears to be a rich white kid they might put them at the bottom of the list. Or maybe the endowments will be hurting by then and it helps? Who knows.


They only want a certain type of diversity. They want racial and socioeconomic diversity. They don’t want kids with medical disabilities or kids who may be troubled because those kids may be hard for a college to accommodate.

My kid with medical issues didn’t mention any of them on their application for that reason.


Interesting perspective. I wonder if there is any data to support that idea that they actually discriminate.



DP It’s just common sense from a business standpoint. Anecdotally, my MIL is a high ranking administrator at a university and she warned us about this when my kids applied. They want to uplift as many kids as they can, but they do not want to increase risk or liability.


And this is one reason why DEI is off putting to so many. The idea that a URM kid from a Mc/umc family should get an admissions advantage over a white kid who is managing a serious illness strikes many as unfair.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 11:42     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Anonymous wrote:Why give slot to dying kid?
Don't go on about difficulties in application. Your income is your income. Your neighbor's isn't.



Your kid is compared against the others in their school. Those kids usually come from the same zip code.

So her kid is competing against kids who’ve had tutors, coaches, and consultants for anything and everything their whole lives. Against kids who’ve had enriching summer programs and an expensive hobbies and sports with the best programs outside of school to improve their talent or performance.

Her kid is disadvantaged in the application process for this reason.

That said, I would not advise anyone to highlight medical conditions for reasons already mentioned.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 11:07     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Why give slot to dying kid?
Don't go on about difficulties in application. Your income is your income. Your neighbor's isn't.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 11:01     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that colleges want poor kids with screwed up lives.

They want mentally well adjusted kids who are prepared for college and can afford tuition. if that's how your daughter appears on paper, let them think that


I agree with you in theory, but they want *diversity* and if this appears to be a rich white kid they might put them at the bottom of the list. Or maybe the endowments will be hurting by then and it helps? Who knows.


They only want a certain type of diversity. They want racial and socioeconomic diversity. They don’t want kids with medical disabilities or kids who may be troubled because those kids may be hard for a college to accommodate.

My kid with medical issues didn’t mention any of them on their application for that reason.


Interesting perspective. I wonder if there is any data to support that idea that they actually discriminate.



DP It’s just common sense from a business standpoint. Anecdotally, my MIL is a high ranking administrator at a university and she warned us about this when my kids applied. They want to uplift as many kids as they can, but they do not want to increase risk or liability.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:53     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Saying the child has an incompatible with life disease does not make sense. He or she may have a difficult disease that is worrisome, but incompatible with life means it is not compatible with life and you wouldn’t be applying to schools.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:46     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
It sounds like you’re hyper focused on certain things when it comes to college admissions, OP. While overcoming challenges can certainly be part of an applicant’s story, there are so many other factors that get weighed. It’s not necessary to paint a picture of total hardship and that need not be your student’s singular path to admission.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:31     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
I think having a criminal dad is far worse than having diabetes, which was diagnosed for DS at a young age and a disease that is manageable and that you can *afford* to manage.
Being wealthy is a privilege, as is living in a high SES neighborhood.
OP, being a drama queen is not going to help DS. Stop saying "incompatible with life." People are going to roll their eyes when you say that. Controlled diabetes is definitely compatible with life.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:22     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
i wouldn't classify type I as incompatible with life. there is a treatment for that. there are many other diseases that ARE incompatible with life.

get a grip!
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:18     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
That’s super manipulative of you OP. To want your kid to play on a storyline that for him/her isn’t so significant all for the purposes of gaming admissions. Be thankful that they regard their life as ‘normal’ and let them write whatever they want to write in their essay.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:10     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Anonymous wrote:...but has overcome a lot. We live in the richest city in this area. I raised my child as a single Mom and we've both had to survive the instability of Dad who is a repeat-offender, convicted abuser. Add to that that child was diagnosed with a chronic, incompatible-with-life disease at a young age. So everything child has accomplished comes with all that baggage.

Apparently I did a really good job because child does not recognize any of this as challenges that have been overcome. Child has always just excelled and never gives it a second thought. So would absolutely never consider discussing this in an essay.

What would your thoughts be? Child isn't just some rich kid but absolutely might come off as that based simply on geography.


Reading this, I was thinking hemophilia, which could be characterized as life incompatible.

There might be other genetic diseases that are life incompatible. So yes, the child has overcome adversities in life.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:09     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that colleges want poor kids with screwed up lives.

They want mentally well adjusted kids who are prepared for college and can afford tuition. if that's how your daughter appears on paper, let them think that


I agree with you in theory, but they want *diversity* and if this appears to be a rich white kid they might put them at the bottom of the list. Or maybe the endowments will be hurting by then and it helps? Who knows.


They only want a certain type of diversity. They want racial and socioeconomic diversity. They don’t want kids with medical disabilities or kids who may be troubled because those kids may be hard for a college to accommodate.

My kid with medical issues didn’t mention any of them on their application for that reason.


Interesting perspective. I wonder if there is any data to support that idea that they actually discriminate.


In one episode, YCBK advised applicants to not discuss any mental health challenges they may have had in their essays.


This. More than anything, colleges want kids who are likely to graduate on time and are likely to stay at the school without transferring/etc., and mental and physical health challenges highly reduce that likelihood.

Why are grad rates so important? Graduation rate is by far the single most heavily-weighted factor in the US News formula, and the next four heavily weighted are all variations of graduation and retention rates. https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/articles/how-us-news-calculated-the-rankings

Even the metrics related to low-income students really only reward the school if they actually graduate those students.



Also

Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:02     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that colleges want poor kids with screwed up lives.

They want mentally well adjusted kids who are prepared for college and can afford tuition. if that's how your daughter appears on paper, let them think that


I agree with you in theory, but they want *diversity* and if this appears to be a rich white kid they might put them at the bottom of the list. Or maybe the endowments will be hurting by then and it helps? Who knows.


They only want a certain type of diversity. They want racial and socioeconomic diversity. They don’t want kids with medical disabilities or kids who may be troubled because those kids may be hard for a college to accommodate.

My kid with medical issues didn’t mention any of them on their application for that reason.


This, colleges want stable kids who are likely to graduate in four years and not screw up their graduate rates.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 10:00     Subject: Child might appear privledged on paper
I’m failing to see your child’s significant struggle. You live in the “richest city in the area.” That alone is a huge privilege. Add in at one least stable parent…yea, your kid had it good.