Anonymous wrote:4th child but it’s been over 15 years and things had changed. This is a high risk pregnancy so multiple appointments where I’d have to explain that I am team green or whatever the current term is for waiting to find out.

Friends have all had gender reveals which were actually a pretty fun party.

I’m not sure which I would prefer. I’ve come across a video of having older children reveal the gener but there also seems to be some excitement to be had with finding out at delivery.

What do you regret?

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids and found out once at 12w, once at 20w, and once at birth. I didn’t really prefer any particular way more than the other. Waiting until birth was cool, but we already had a boy and a girl and had saved all the baby clothes. But it was just as exciting to find out in the doctor’s office!

The only people I know who were disappointed were people who wanted to be surprised at birth but then accidentally found out early when a doctor or ultrasound tech slipped up. It takes a lot of effort to keep from finding out when you get the blood test and lots of ultrasounds.

I find gender reveal parties pretty tacky. No one really cares except your immediate family, and it was weird to me to mill around and eat snacks and vote about what my friends were having. Especially when the parents already know and it’s just the guests finding out. So weird.

If I were you, I would find out in advance so you can plan better. And if you want to do something fun with your older kids, you could ask for the doctor to write it down and open it with them. Or ask a friend to make a cake or something to cut at home with your kids.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks PPs! It’s been a little over 15 years since my last child so I’m stating to look into what is now used and what is banned or discontinued (the Graco Rock n’ Play was a lifesaver all those years ago sad to see it go)

I had my first at 24 and most of my friends have just started having babies in their now late 30s. I’ll be 40 when this baby arrives.

I have no baby items and the grandparents who are living are elderly.

My kids are teens so it’s not little kids needing to get excited but older kids - I have two boys and a girl - wanting to be involved.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this logic that it “helps with names.” it’s not like there are a million outcomes to prepare for? Pick a name for a girl and a name for a boy and be done.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this logic that it “helps with names.” it’s not like there are a million outcomes to prepare for? Pick a name for a girl and a name for a boy and be done.

Anonymous wrote:We didn't find out for our first two, no regrets. In fact, I think that's better because when you have months and months of ONLY knowing a child's sex and nothing else about them, you (and certainly old relatives!) will subconsciously start creating a subtle narrative in your head about what they'll be like based on gender. Plus, then people buy you genders-specific stuff, which is impractical if you're having multiple kids, and I prefer the gender-neutral stuff anyway. I know someone who announced they were having a girl and then got like 15 useless frilly pink dresses at their shower and very little from their registry.

The third we did find out for purely practical reasons. The older kids, one boy and one girl, were growing out of clothes and I didn't want to save both sets of clothes. That also was fine - way less excitement around #3 from others anyway.

Anonymous wrote:I liked finding out the sex at the anatomy scan. It obviously helped a lot with names. People also asked a lot leading up to birth, of course, and I had fun telling them. Little siblings also like knowing because it helps them conceptualize the baby more.

I have never even been invited to a "gender reveal" party. They seem...kind of silly, frankly.