Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

I think everyone has their own definition, but for me:
A man who shows sexual initiative, is capable with his hands around the house, holds space for my emotions, has opinions on our life direction, take initiative in doing things, and is relatively lean and strong (and a beard, strong hands and legs, and a deep voice doesn’t hurt). This is awesome when it’s paired with a man who can show emotional vulnerability, tenderness with children and me, and a desire to take care of those he loves. Not sure that guy exists.

This is lol and out of a bad romance novel.

Go ahead and give your definition...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I just saw a video clip on Instagram of a guy on the LA Dodgers who was at bat, and the other team's pitcher threw the baseball right at his face (the teams had been fighting previously). He turned at the last minute and the ball "only" hit his back/side flank. But instead of charging at the other team and physically fighting, he stayed calm, walked a few seconds, then gestured to his teammates to stand down, not physically confront the other team. He walked over with his hands behind his back to the other team's dugout and exchanged words with them, then smiled and walked away.

He didn't get aggressive and discouraged aggression of his team against the other one. He worked towards resolution calmly. To me, that's a healthy, masculine man right there. (The man I'm talking about is Shohei Ohtani - I just googled to find out his name.)

Again this is how you want men to respond. This is the issue. We have to behave the way women expect us to behave else we are all.lumped in the bag of toxic men.

Well yes, this IS how *I* want men to respond. Not all women do - some women like seeing men fight and then think the man who won the fight is super masculine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I just saw a video clip on Instagram of a guy on the LA Dodgers who was at bat, and the other team's pitcher threw the baseball right at his face (the teams had been fighting previously). He turned at the last minute and the ball "only" hit his back/side flank. But instead of charging at the other team and physically fighting, he stayed calm, walked a few seconds, then gestured to his teammates to stand down, not physically confront the other team. He walked over with his hands behind his back to the other team's dugout and exchanged words with them, then smiled and walked away.

He didn't get aggressive and discouraged aggression of his team against the other one. He worked towards resolution calmly. To me, that's a healthy, masculine man right there. (The man I'm talking about is Shohei Ohtani - I just googled to find out his name.)

Again this is how you want men to respond. This is the issue. We have to behave the way women expect us to behave else we are all.lumped in the bag of toxic men.

I mean, violence is pretty toxic. Yes, I get uncomfortable when people escalate to violence. Male or female.

+1. Kindergarteners know not to start fights, you want me to believe grown men can't control themselves?

Being capable of finishing a fight if needed (hot) is very different than deliberately picking fights (toxic).

This is no different than women who use PMS as an excuse to behave horribly. Which is also not okay. Nobody should be violent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I just saw a video clip on Instagram of a guy on the LA Dodgers who was at bat, and the other team's pitcher threw the baseball right at his face (the teams had been fighting previously). He turned at the last minute and the ball "only" hit his back/side flank. But instead of charging at the other team and physically fighting, he stayed calm, walked a few seconds, then gestured to his teammates to stand down, not physically confront the other team. He walked over with his hands behind his back to the other team's dugout and exchanged words with them, then smiled and walked away.

He didn't get aggressive and discouraged aggression of his team against the other one. He worked towards resolution calmly. To me, that's a healthy, masculine man right there. (The man I'm talking about is Shohei Ohtani - I just googled to find out his name.)

Again this is how you want men to respond. This is the issue. We have to behave the way women expect us to behave else we are all.lumped in the bag of toxic men.

I mean, violence is pretty toxic. Yes, I get uncomfortable when people escalate to violence. Male or female.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I just saw a video clip on Instagram of a guy on the LA Dodgers who was at bat, and the other team's pitcher threw the baseball right at his face (the teams had been fighting previously). He turned at the last minute and the ball "only" hit his back/side flank. But instead of charging at the other team and physically fighting, he stayed calm, walked a few seconds, then gestured to his teammates to stand down, not physically confront the other team. He walked over with his hands behind his back to the other team's dugout and exchanged words with them, then smiled and walked away.

He didn't get aggressive and discouraged aggression of his team against the other one. He worked towards resolution calmly. To me, that's a healthy, masculine man right there. (The man I'm talking about is Shohei Ohtani - I just googled to find out his name.)

Again this is how you want men to respond. This is the issue. We have to behave the way women expect us to behave else we are all.lumped in the bag of toxic men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

I think everyone has their own definition, but for me:
A man who shows sexual initiative, is capable with his hands around the house, holds space for my emotions, has opinions on our life direction, take initiative in doing things, and is relatively lean and strong (and a beard, strong hands and legs, and a deep voice doesn’t hurt). This is awesome when it’s paired with a man who can show emotional vulnerability, tenderness with children and me, and a desire to take care of those he loves. Not sure that guy exists.

Ah lol you got me until that part. I am everything you have said until that point. Suuuure I can be emotionally vulnerable, but I will be blunt of honest it's not a natural thing for me. Like I'll have to think about it.

It is possible to grow and change, you know. Now that you know, you can find ways to improve.

NP here but when we want men to be in touch with their emotions, it's wanting men to be healthy. Men who bottle up everything die young from high blood pressure or develop substance issues.

In my humble opinion the issue is that women want men to be in touch with their emotion from their point of view. We don't expect women to be emotionally a certain way. We accept the way they deal with their emotions. But women, on the other hand, have plenty of ideas of how men should be emotionally available. We are different. We simply are. Women played a big part in raising us and if you see how boys vs girls are treated by moms themselves you will understand why men are not as emotionally available as adult women now ready for a partner expect them to be.

Yes, I just saw a video clip on Instagram of a guy on the LA Dodgers who was at bat, and the other team's pitcher threw the baseball right at his face (the teams had been fighting previously). He turned at the last minute and the ball "only" hit his back/side flank. But instead of charging at the other team and physically fighting, he stayed calm, walked a few seconds, then gestured to his teammates to stand down, not physically confront the other team. He walked over with his hands behind his back to the other team's dugout and exchanged words with them, then smiled and walked away.

He didn't get aggressive and discouraged aggression of his team against the other one. He worked towards resolution calmly. To me, that's a healthy, masculine man right there. (The man I'm talking about is Shohei Ohtani - I just googled to find out his name.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

I think everyone has their own definition, but for me:
A man who shows sexual initiative, is capable with his hands around the house, holds space for my emotions, has opinions on our life direction, take initiative in doing things, and is relatively lean and strong (and a beard, strong hands and legs, and a deep voice doesn’t hurt). This is awesome when it’s paired with a man who can show emotional vulnerability, tenderness with children and me, and a desire to take care of those he loves. Not sure that guy exists.

This is lol and out of a bad romance novel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

I think everyone has their own definition, but for me:
A man who shows sexual initiative, is capable with his hands around the house, holds space for my emotions, has opinions on our life direction, take initiative in doing things, and is relatively lean and strong (and a beard, strong hands and legs, and a deep voice doesn’t hurt). This is awesome when it’s paired with a man who can show emotional vulnerability, tenderness with children and me, and a desire to take care of those he loves. Not sure that guy exists.

Ah lol you got me until that part. I am everything you have said until that point. Suuuure I can be emotionally vulnerable, but I will be blunt of honest it's not a natural thing for me. Like I'll have to think about it.

It is possible to grow and change, you know. Now that you know, you can find ways to improve.

NP here but when we want men to be in touch with their emotions, it's wanting men to be healthy. Men who bottle up everything die young from high blood pressure or develop substance issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems that everything is on one side of the spectrum or the other - either more feminine men or toxic masculine men. Very little to find in the middle.

You are looking for a college educated, perhaps even masters educated *officer* in the armed services active duty.

It's true, most of the officers I know are just wonderful men. The majority of them are married, devoted husbands and dads.

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

A masculine man would define it for himself, and others would agree with his definition. There is literally nothing you can do apart from provide a Y chromosome that I can't do or pay someone to do. And I could even pay someone for that if I wanted.

Masculinity isn't about money or physical strength. It's about reliability, and to some extent, charisma. You have to be able to sell it. But not in a gross overbearing way. If people don't agree with your definition of masculinity, then you're toxic.

Masculinity makes me feel safe in a bad time, whether that's a busted water heater, a bat in the attic, an illness, whatever. Yes, I can deal with these myself. But if you can project an aura of competence and ease with solutions to problems, I'll feel better about standing down and letting you handle it.

I can and do earn my own money. There's nothing masculine about a high income in and of itself. But if it brings a certain level of comfort in your own skin, that could count as the "provider" element of masculinity that others have mentioned. If you're a high-income dick who treats servers badly or thinks he can buy his way out of trouble, you squander any potential masc points and you're firmly in toxic territory.

There can be no masculinity without kindness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

I think everyone has their own definition, but for me:
A man who shows sexual initiative, is capable with his hands around the house, holds space for my emotions, has opinions on our life direction, take initiative in doing things, and is relatively lean and strong (and a beard, strong hands and legs, and a deep voice doesn’t hurt). This is awesome when it’s paired with a man who can show emotional vulnerability, tenderness with children and me, and a desire to take care of those he loves. Not sure that guy exists.

Ah lol you got me until that part. I am everything you have said until that point. Suuuure I can be emotionally vulnerable, but I will be blunt of honest it's not a natural thing for me. Like I'll have to think about it.

It is possible to grow and change, you know. Now that you know, you can find ways to improve.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

I think everyone has their own definition, but for me:
A man who shows sexual initiative, is capable with his hands around the house, holds space for my emotions, has opinions on our life direction, take initiative in doing things, and is relatively lean and strong (and a beard, strong hands and legs, and a deep voice doesn’t hurt). This is awesome when it’s paired with a man who can show emotional vulnerability, tenderness with children and me, and a desire to take care of those he loves. Not sure that guy exists.

Ah lol you got me until that part. I am everything you have said until that point. Suuuure I can be emotionally vulnerable, but I will be blunt of honest it's not a natural thing for me. Like I'll have to think about it.

But you deserve to allow yourself to be human. I don’t think it’s natural for most people. We all grew up being told to handle your sh** by yourself.

Something that’s missing from masculinity these days is men who are strong enough to handle emotions and deep relationships. It’s so weak (but not feminine) to deny people have emotional needs, not understand your own, and get angry with others for having them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

I think everyone has their own definition, but for me:
A man who shows sexual initiative, is capable with his hands around the house, holds space for my emotions, has opinions on our life direction, take initiative in doing things, and is relatively lean and strong (and a beard, strong hands and legs, and a deep voice doesn’t hurt). This is awesome when it’s paired with a man who can show emotional vulnerability, tenderness with children and me, and a desire to take care of those he loves. Not sure that guy exists.

Ah lol you got me until that part. I am everything you have said until that point. Suuuure I can be emotionally vulnerable, but I will be blunt of honest it's not a natural thing for me. Like I'll have to think about it.