Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

This is an illogical deflection. These grandparents are demanding that they visit when they dictate and displace others. They ignore the host telling them not to visit during the school week. They ignore the host telling them that it’s hard for the kids to not sleep in their beds for a full week during school. They turn up their entitled noses at the hosts offer to pay for a hotel for them. This is just awful behavior on the part of the grandparents.

These boomers ARE incredibly selfish. It probably makes them feel important to make their presence so horrible. They feel they need a show of respect by creating situations where others have to drop everything and cater to them. If they don’t get what they want, they stick their noses in the air and feign being offended. Some people are like this, just bad people. Other people know this is horrible behavior, would never dare pull it with friends but enjoy taking advantage of family.

House full of spoiled brats raising more spoiled brats. Grandparents shouldn't be surprised. You'll be back in a few years complaining that grandparents don't visit or go to kids' sporting events.

It is totally insane that they are asking this when you have an infant. They are jerks. I would tell them that their visits will need to be in the summer or holiday breaks. Alternatively, I might use this as a chance for my husband and I to stay at a hotel with the infant and tell the grandparents that they can get the other two kids off to school.

Anonymous wrote:Seems like your kids are pretty spoiled. Our kids love it when grandparents visit. They give up their room and "slumber party" in the living room on the floor. It's like camping for them. They love having the grandparents visit and appreciate every second with them Oldest is now in high school and has no issue sacrificing sleeping arrangements for family. Who knows how much longer they'll be around, be grateful for every moment.

Sure if your kids are toddlers. No middle school or older kid wants to sleep on the living room floor for days. Your kid is weird btw

Personally, I cannot imagine telling my parents or in-laws they can’t stay with us. Even when we lived in a tiny apartment, we hosted them. My family’s “culture” was always to pile everyone in—air mattresses, floor, doubling up, whatever.

But if you really don’t want to, just tell them it’s a hotel or nothing.

Anonymous wrote:Yes and we just didn’t give a choice. Our votes are pretty far away too, more like 15 mins. I don’t care if they are offended. I would be deeply offended if they expected me to toss my 3 kids on the floor of a common area to misbehave all night and be completely sleep deprived in the middle of a school week. That is definitely not an option. I would consider it for one night on a weekend but only maybe.

Our hotels are far away I mean!

Yes and we just didn’t give a choice. Our votes are pretty far away too, more like 15 mins. I don’t care if they are offended. I would be deeply offended if they expected me to toss my 3 kids on the floor of a common area to misbehave all night and be completely sleep deprived in the middle of a school week. That is definitely not an option. I would consider it for one night on a weekend but only maybe.

Your house can’t accommodate.
If they’re your parents - you tell them
If it your husbands parents - he tells them


Be prepared for silent treatment or distance as a result.

The end.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I feel like you need a guest room. We made my oldest’s room into a “guest bedroom” with a queen bed. And then my son has two twins in his room and she stays there when we have company. I feel like you’re the one making it difficult since your set up isn’t great. I wouldn’t feel like I can ask grandparents to stay in a hotel.

Sounds like you have a 4 bedroom house.

This is like my friend who has a 5 bedroom home and complains that her husband works from home in her dining room. She refuses to redo the guest bedroom to accommodate a desk for him but whines nonstop about his mess.

Maybe she does that because she has idiot friends who insist that she "needs a guest room?"

My sister has six kids 9 and under and this summer before moving down to where we live, her family came to visit our city and she wanted to stay in our house and it wasn't hard to say a big fat NO.

My ILs definitely won’t stay in a hotel even if we pay for it. We give them our bed and we sleep on the couches. They only stay for two nights so it’s not bad, but our bed is way nicer than my kid’s beds so it makes sense to give it to them to save their backs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your kids are pretty spoiled. This is totally nothing burger and definitely a first world country problem.

We live in a first world country and asking your kid to sleep in a room that isn't theirs during the school week is a lot.

Snowflakes raising snowflakes. Can’t wait to see what happens when your kids grow up.

And you’re a doormat for failing to set boundaries. Doormats raising doormats doesn’t bode well for future generations.

I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

Yeah, I wouldn’t tolerate this (and unless we have had room, grandparents haven’t stayed with us). Growing up my grandparents never slept in our house unless we had a guest room. It’s just not our culture at all. They’ll clearly be annoyed but you can still make the rule.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your kids are pretty spoiled. This is totally nothing burger and definitely a first world country problem.

We live in a first world country and asking your kid to sleep in a room that isn't theirs during the school week is a lot.

Snowflakes raising snowflakes. Can’t wait to see what happens when your kids grow up.