Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 07:43     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


Did you child go to private K-12? Mine have and they both want to go to a large state school. I have my reservations but will ultimately let them choose.


NP; my kid went to a very small public school, but same kids from K-12. He loved it and still close w his friends, but chose a large state university. I was surprised because such a big change, but so far so good.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 22:05     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


Did you child go to private K-12? Mine have and they both want to go to a large state school. I have my reservations but will ultimately let them choose.


+1
My kids were sick of a private, insular environment and both chose large state schools where they have thrived.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 21:13     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


Did you child go to private K-12? Mine have and they both want to go to a large state school. I have my reservations but will ultimately let them choose.


Some kids I know who went to small private K-12 schools wanted and were ready for a large state U after being in a small high school environment. When they got there, they loved the variety of social and extracurricular opportunities.


This is my kid. He went from a small private school to large state school (I tried steering him to SLAC) and he loves it.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 21:04     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It depends on your kid. I went to a big state school. They expect you to be an adult from Day 1. No one is reaching out to check on you. You have a counselor you can meet with to discuss classes, etc. but you have to set the meeting. If you don’t do that, they aren’t going to follow up. If you miss class, no one is going to follow up. It’s a great environment with amazing opportunities, but you have to drive things yourself. If you kid isn’t good at that or is used to being coddled, it might not be the right fit.


You assume it’s not the same at smaller schools? My kid’s Ivy is cutthroat. Not the coddling stereotype people have of it here. The kid was in the hospital and still got no deadline leeway. You definitely need to be used to sink or swim- but he came from a private HS that was like this from day 1 of freshmen year. Parents had zero access to canvas, etc, no-retakes or extended deadlines and I never spoke to a single teacher or administrator all 4 years- so he was used to it.

Small does not automatically mean “coddling”. I also went to a big state university and did great. My roommate flunked out first semester—and that happens at every school big and small.


Please name the Ivy. This is an anonymous board, so you’re not outing your kid. And it would be really helpful for the rest of us to know as we consider schools for DC.


Probably Cornell.


I don't think anyone thinks of Cornell as a "coddling" place. Brown or Yale, yes.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 20:58     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


Did you child go to private K-12? Mine have and they both want to go to a large state school. I have my reservations but will ultimately let them choose.


Some kids I know who went to small private K-12 schools wanted and were ready for a large state U after being in a small high school environment. When they got there, they loved the variety of social and extracurricular opportunities.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 19:13     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


Did you child go to private K-12? Mine have and they both want to go to a large state school. I have my reservations but will ultimately let them choose.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 18:47     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:I was nervous when my daughter wanted to go to UF v. a much smaller school. However, she has loved it. She has so many more friend groups than she did in high school (where she struggled to find her people). My only issue is that she is having too much fun and I hope that her grades do not suffer.

Same experience for my daughter. She loves it. Always something going on. Finally making friends.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 18:29     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
I know kids who’s been unhappy at large state schools and kids who have unhappy at LAC’s/mid-size private U’s. There are so many variables- the kid’s personality, interests, the mix of kids on campus, opportunities, etc. I don’t have any experience with large state schools but I gather that it’s easier to find one’s niche or places there, if they go in with the understanding that they need to be more proactive about everything?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 18:26     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


Wow so you are admitting on social media you didn't raise an adult?
And that you are a judgy POS?

Every kid is different however large schools have way more opportunities than small ones.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 18:24     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Kid went to UCB. It was teeeible in so many ways — crowded, hard to get courses, club culture, housing, teaching quality, etc. Transferred out after one year to a SLAC. Best decision, it’s like night and day.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 17:14     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
I think there are a lot of misconceptions about schools big and small. I went to a 2000 SLAC and the large schools were not my cup of tea. Imagine my surprise when my kid didn't want anything to do with small schools! It was all I knew and I assumed they must be better. My kid chose a large mid-west school and it was the right decision. They are not just a number. They have an advisor in their school that knows their major and has plenty of time to meet. Yes, there is a large lecture with a discussion, but I made it through intro Philosophy in my SLAC in a lecture hall and never spoke a word to my professor. I also didn't have an advisor who reached out to me. That certainly isn't a guarantee in a tiny school. My DC is loving meeting new people from all over. They adore all the campus has to offer and I'm a little jelous b/c it is so much cooler than where i went to school. I was scared. That's OK. I'm not ashamed. The big schools made me uncomfortable. But, I'm glad I didn't force my kid to live my experience b/c they are getting so much more out of their school. I have no doubt my DC will be better prepared for the real world than I was and that makes me happy.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 14:54     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Know and accept that you have a bias. You are most likely going to prefer - whatever college experience you had, whether a small LAC or large state school.

DH and I valued our large state school experience. So many options for majors, class sections, class times, different professors. No need to get a sign-off, convince a counselor if you wanted to change your major, drop a class, try-out a class in a very different subject just for fun. You charted your own course.


Ummm....many good large state schools have 75% of the majors as "impacted". So nope, you cannot just try a course, switch majors, etc.
At smaller schools (my kids are at 5-8K undergrads) it was much easier to change majors (2 of my 3 kids did so, one changed their major about 90 mins before registering for fall soph courses). It was very easy to take courses outside your major, switch your major, drop a class. The difference is before dropping a course you have to talk to your advisor/the dept coordinator for your major. Which is a good thing. They guide you and make sure you don't do something stupid---like dropping a course that takes you below "# of units required to keep your Financial aid"/etc. They help guide you to tutoring and extra help before you hit the point of needing to drop a course, because the goal is for you to succeed. An 18/19 yo needing a bitof assistance is not coddling, it's helping prepare them for life. In the real world good companies have mentors assigned to new hires to help guide them as well


DP. My kids attend different state schools. All have switched majors at least once and never had any issue doing so. Which schools are you referring to that have “75% of majors impacted”?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 14:54     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
I did both and preferred the massive school. I went to a small school, and everyone went home on the weekends, and classes were limited as there were not a lot of professors or interests. They also used a lot of adjuncts, and some were really bad. I transferred to a big school. I'm pushing my child to a big school. Once you are in a major, it's a much smaller feel.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 14:50     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


May be somewhat accurate for students at some large, public universities who are not in the honors college and who choose not to get involved beyond the minimum required, but it would be that student's choice, not an automatic, pre-determined situation.

However, the opportunities at large, public universities are many and varied and, again, it is up to the student to choose whether or not to get involved by taking advantage of one or more of the available opportunities. And, the opportunity to enjoy a few years of being a low-key member of a large community is attractive to many. Some folks may prefer to engage in individual exercise, individual study, and enjoying time to grow and to explore in their own fashion. (FWIW I have tried both and really enjoyed the large, public university much more than the 2,000+ student LAC from which I graduated. And I was no wallflower in high school--class president, multi-sport varsity athlete, two team sports captain, solid student, and vigorous social life.)

Many quickly get weary of seeing the same faces day after day, lack of privacy, and social cliques that dominate many small schools. I saw different opportunities almost daily at the large, public university and felt suffocated at the 2,300 student LAC.

With respect to getting to know one's professors, it is easy at both large & small schools. Actually, it seemed easier to form close relationships with professors at the large,public university because students tended to mind their own business,while at small schools it seems as though as everyone knows each other's business.


+100
I could have written this!
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2025 14:47     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


I attended a SLAC and deeply regret it. I felt so stifled and bored, seeing the same people all the time, where everyone knew everyone else’s business. The small classes were so dull, with the same handful of people in each one - same with the paltry clubs.

My own kids wanted nothing to do with SLACs and chose large state schools where they have an abundance of activities to choose from - not to mention great depth and variety in their classes/majors. None have had a class bigger than about 50 people and most are around 30. One has a foreign language class with only ten people.

They are involved in academic organizations, study abroad, internships, and social activities (neither went Greek). I so wish I had chosen differently when I was their age, but my own parents inexplicably pushed me towards a small school. Now I see how much I missed!